Toadfish Monastery

Greetings Siblings (I finally found you!). Hope you are all well and hope youse guys are keepin' the Monastery nice and tidy. I hear that the squiddlies are growing well, which is excellent because I've hankerin' for a bit of live bait from the moat for me next fishin trip.
Oi need to get familiar with New New Portsmouth so hexcuse me while I catch up several years of Taddy threads. Capn Dave

Well lads,

Last week, me beloved Macaw 'Percy', parked his feet in the air permanently. Once Oi be over me grief, Oi aves decided to put him to good use.

In this age of recyclable and reusable, Oi wuz wunderin what might be a suitable use for a dead parrot.

Oi wuz thinkin Oi could use 'im to hold a few of me cocktail mixin' implements for me on board bar.  Monty Pyton jokes aside - he'd make a great conversashun piece.

YArrrrrr...

Just flying some ideas over in Pirate Development at present, but...

I was just having a look at the Lolcat Bible. It's a damn fine piece of work and very funny.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/ (yarrrr...thanks for the link PoN)

A keen young pirate suggested we should do a similar Bible project in Piratespeak. That would be a tad ambitious, but if there were enough commited pirates, we could definitely pull it off.

I like the Lolcat Wiki Media concept, as it means we can invite a broad cross section of pirates to write the various bible sections.

We should start pooling some ideas, testing the waters and see if it's feasible.
Some initial thoughts...

Who would be like to get involved? A few of us would be a chore, a team of us would be a pleasure!
Who can we get to supporting/promote the project ie TLAP Website, Myspace, Facebook links?
Could someone get a Wiki up?
Should we use an online Pirate translator?

We would make this a HOT driven project, although the more merrier, Oi say!

Over to youse!!

Guys,

I know this could get really emotional and tabloid, but the recent Youtube inspired beating of Victoria Lindsay in Florida by 8 school friends was really sad.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/702331/the_victoria_lindsay_beating_preventing.html

Regardless of what was she'd done/said, I don't think these kids were really thinking too well when they decided to beat the crap out of her and film the whole thing for youtube.

Youtube has inspired some good, edgy videos, but it's also inspired some real crap. This was really crap (and unfunny). What were they thinking?

By Joves,

I say, have we managed to partake in a discussion like complete upper class twats in this here monastery?

I believe we have not, and therefore we shall.

Fetch my cigars at once Jeeves. For there shall be landed gentry guests and their lady folk arriving shortly.

Dear Citizens of Portsmouth,

The 1700's are a time of change, bubonic plague, rampant colonialism, sailing ship infested harbours. What's the world comming too?

The time has come to vote your new Municipal Council once again.  Political parties and concerned citizens, state your issues here and now.

What are the issues that affect you? How will you vote a this years ballot?

The following parties have already registered to stand:

The Right Wing Upper Crust Twit Association (RWUCTA)
The Keith Liversausage Advancement Party (KLAP)
Concerned Butchers of Portsmouth (CBOP)
Unconcerned Pirates and Blaggards (UPAB)

Register you party or concerns, right here right now.

Signed,

C.McBunty

Cecil McBunty
Electoral Officer
Portsmouth Electoral Commission

I saw this on a fellow Siblings list of Facebook Groups and killed myself laughing and also had to join.

QuoteThis group is for people who understand the grave risks of gay marriage. Some suggest gay marriage will merely undermine one of our most fundamental societal institutions, causing countless straight couples to get divorced because exclusion of gays was the only thing holding their marriage together.

But we know better. Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs. If we let liberal activist judges in Massachusetts and California set the course, the blood will run in rivers. Mixed with molten lava.

*sigh* Also, please stop messaging me with angry comments. This group is a joke, people.

If ever there was a web meme to rival FSM, this would be it. Worthy Liberal Cause + Distorted Science. Hmmm, all we need is a Cafe Press T Shirt Range and a hate mail section and voila...NEW WEB MEME!!!

Darren where are you, quick!!

There are some very funny dinosaur pictures, which show a few ummmm...salty tale moments...

Anyway it's another funny site - regardless of opinions about Facebook.

Quote

Top 13 Reasons Gay Marriage is Bad:

13. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

12. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why our society has no single parents.

11. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

10. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

9. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

8. Gay marriage should be decided by the people and their elected representatives, not the courts. The framers checked the courts, which represent mainstream public opinion, with legislatures created to protect the rights of minorities from the tyranny of the majority. Interference by courts in this matter is inappropriate, just as it has been every time the courts have tried to hold back legislatures pushing for civil rights.

7. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because "separate but equal" institutions are a good way to satisfy the demands of uppity minority groups.

5. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

4. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

3. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

2. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

1. METEORS and VOLCANOES.

I've started a thread on facebook called 'The Westboro Baptist Church: Are they simply saving dinosaurs?' 

Well, finally after 11 years, Australia has rid itself of John Howard. We are all still in shock, but my initial thought can be descibed in one word.

WOOT!!
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/howard-hung-on-too-long-and-they-let-him/2007/11/25/1195975870456.html

YArrrrr...

Here be a chance to write some piraty scripture and poetry. Give us you most inspired thoughts Piraty style. Pearls of Wisdom shall be written here.

Ok O'ill go first:

"Blessed be the Pirate with thy Bobcat excavator. For thy rivals buried treasure shall not remain buried for very long"

Shades of Taichi here. 

Oi've bin givin this little varmint 'what for'. Anyone keen to join the Raiding Party?

http://www.venganza.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=218711#218711

YArrrr...

Wif all the kidnapping goin' on in these here parts, Oi thought it be only appropriate that we invent a few of our own.

Here be an awesome Ransom Note Generator for the busy kidnapper.

http://www.stevenolte.com/ransom-note.html

SenD   YeR   MOneY   to   MR   DavEL,   oR   MaYOR   KeIth   GETS   IT

Hoo Boy,

I, like many other was pretty amazed to see BBC Panorama reporter John Sweeney blow up on camera. But it's amazing how quickly the followers of L.Ron posted his tirade on youtube.

If you watch the Panorama doco, it's easy to see why. He was hounded by an L.Ron camera crew, complete with 'smarmy zealoted' spokesperson at every turn.

http://www.youtube.com/v/6J8-Zfzd55E

(follow the links to parts 2 to 4)

Beliefs are beliefs, go for it, but is it right to ruthelssly crush independent investigations and smear those reporting it?   

Hoo man that was scary!

Oh this is just hilarious. If Oprah endorses it, it must be good.

It's wonderful to think that we can have whatever we want in the world. But harnessing the power of the universe...awww c'mon...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_%282006_film%29

Here is a wonderful spoof of The Secret by Chaser's War on Everything, which screens on our local ABC. It's very funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q__fc7NKwlY

YArrrrr...

Oi wuz hopin' after Lordi (the Finnish Monster band) won it, Oi thought this year would be truly wacky. YArrr, instead all we got wuz the former Eastern bloc countries votin' for one another again.

Yarrrr, that Dervish and Scooch were a fine acts. Better luck next year Ireland and UK. Just make sure yer put a few Eastern European instruments in yer next performance.

Lucky 'Take-the-Lot' were banned from performin'. If Piratica ever get a spot in Eurovision, there will be hell to pay. All those Jolly Roger's wavin' in the crowd...and swords swayin' to the music.

Bring on Belgrade 2008...yarrr!!!

YArrrr...

It's bin a while since we had a good Piratey story thread.

Remember the wonderful stories we used to tell in the ole place. YArrr, those were the days!

http://www.venganza.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4919

Oi hereby declare the ssry tellin' thread reopended fer business. YArrr!

Ugghh,

I must have missed this, but what the heck is Emo subculture? From what I can gather, this is a new youth fad doing the rounds.

Emo short for emotional, and there is a high level of introspection, naval gazing and just being miserable for the heck of it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_%28slang%29

Two girls in Oz recently found hanging from a tree, were heavily to Emo music.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/04/23/1177180569460.html?from=top5

Umm, I don't get it. Why are these kids so miserable? I thought middle class suburbia was a damn heck better than slumming it in some poor back alley (like Portsmouth).

So anyway kids, just cheer up and be happy - just like Hope or Elmo. Has anyone seen an Emo smilie?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMvMzQ4Vu-8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xwCpKLc8u0

YArrrr...

Keeping the young-uns entertained is a tough task at the best of toimes.

What activities should we employ to keep the little blaggards happy durin a berfday party?

Oi wuz thinkin of some of the followin' piratey activities to keep 'em happy:

1. 'Pin-the-tail-on-the-brig-prisoner' - Well if he's gonna be in lock up, the kids should have some fun wif him. Yowch!

2. 'Catch n' Flog' - hours of fun with the Bo'sun. Jest make sure he doesn't catch yer!

3. 'Pegleg Twister' - Spin the spinner and see how many positions they angle their prosthetic limbs at;

4. 'Two-legs + Two Pegged Race' - Tie the little varmints together and watchem go. Jest make sure their wooden bits don't fall off.

5. 'I'm a Cannon Ball' - let 'em climb down the muzzle of your 18 pounders and get 'em to re-enact a famous naval battle. The one who flys the farest wins. YArr!

YArrr...the little blighters will go home 'as happy as Larry'.

Have got any party suggestions?

Gang,

We are now officially listed on the Talk Like A Pirate Day list of Weblinks.

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/links.html

QuoteToadfish Monastary. It's ... a monastary. With pirate stuff. Including forums and a pirate men's magazine called Playbilge. Hey, we've seen stranger things. ...

Mmm-kay,

It's nice to see that these guys have gone from the slightly isolationist wacky to seriously fundamentalist and political wacky.

The Exclusive Bretheren are a rather influential bunch, in Australia, as we've recently found out.
These guys are a lovely bi-product of 10 years of conservative government in Australia.

QuoteDue to their focus on separation, the public view of the Brethren relies heavily on what is said in the media. They have been the subject of quite widespread controversy and unwelcome publicity, at various times since the mid-1960s.

Claims aired on the ABC Four Corners program accused the group of being a cult, breaking up families, and avoiding the issue of suicide among their members.
Additionally, the Brethren have been accused of covering up the child abuse activities of a high ranking Australian member from 2003 to 2006 (and ignoring written warnings from as early as 1991).

The Brethren hit the media headlines in 2005-6 with their political activities in both Australia and New Zealand.

Wiki

I was reading a ABC (thats the Aussie one)radio transript of the political activities of the Sacred Bretheren in New Zealand and Australia. The Sacred Brethren were recently attributed to The Australian Green's losing seats in Tasmania, after a secretive ballot drop (by men in pig masks )

Wendy Carlisle's transcript is a great read about how and progressive social politics is being undermined by the religious right in Australia.

http://www.abc.net.au/rn/backgroundbriefing/stories/2006/1624361.htm

Sound familiar guys?

YArrrrr...

As there appears to be a correlation between HOT Arcade games and pirates there be much serious stuff to discuss, such as:

1) How we flogged Black Bart in Frogger (no not me no!);

2) How Goat continues to dominate those wormy sluggy thingy games;

3) Why anyone in their right mind would contemplate playing Simon for enjoyment.

Toime for a serious discussion! YArrr!