After the first bars opened, the tired workers of old man March's popular emporium took a well deserved rest with tea and crispy crumpets. Just as the clock struck nine a worried bartender poured the last shot of fine Kentucky elderflower wine before the door was suddenly and irrevocably opened by the meanest man in the Far East. A disciple of Mao the Taoist Tapeworm, he surreptitiously wiggled his long and narrow proboscis, forming a suspicious image of an invertebrate villain. Meanwhile,under uncertain conditions of questionable circumstances Monsignor Tafardel, dean of Egregious Geography