Been listening to the audio book of Thud, by Terry Pratchett. it contains the story Sam Vimes reads to his son every night, the Where's my cow? of the title.
Verses are as follows:
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "baa"
It is a sheep
It is not my cow.
etc.
Let's do our own.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "AAAARGGGH!"
It is a pirate.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "BLRUUUUUT" (http://mfile.akamai.com/34/wma/covery.download.akamai.com/34/dcol/discovery_channel/2002/01/08/toadfish.asx?obj=dcrlghs16v001)
It is a toadfish.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "all history is the history of class struggle"
It is a goat.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "glug glug glug" :drunk:
It is Kiyo.
It is not my cow.
:mrgreen:
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It's got a smiting stick! :smite:
It's Sibling Chatty!
It's not my cow/
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It says "She'll be right, mate!"
It's a dinkum Aussie.
It's not my cow!
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "You don't believe in the same God I do. You are going to burn in Hell!"
It is a fundie.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I didn't do it, you are just picking on me."
It is a traffic stop.
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I start again fron Murphy's Law , in a Calabi-Yau space, with blake holes who begin matter and particles, and my Anti-bomb H is more near than 2 months ago."
It is E.Raser (http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/2028/eraserkw2.gif)
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: ,,Wenn innerweltlich Seiendes mit dem Sein des Daseins entdeckt, das heißt zu Verständnis gekommen ist, sagen wir, es hat Sinn. (...) Sinn ist das durch Vorhabe, Vorsicht und Vorgriff strukturierte Woraufhin des Entwurfs, aus dem her etwas als etwas verständlich wird."
It's Martin Heidegger
It is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: "If internal-laily Seiendes with its the existence discovers, i.e. to understanding came, says we, it is reasonable (...) sense is through intend, caution and anticipation structured whereupon the draft, from that something as somewhat understandable becomes ago."
It is the Babelfish translation of that Martin Heidegger quote.
It is not my cow.
Edit by Swatopluk: The translation seems to make more sense than the original :mrgreen:
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: "I have of late,—but wherefore I know not,—lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire,—why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?"
It is a miserable danish prince.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It shows the blue screen of death.
It is a Windows computer.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Gosh! It's hot!"
It is Paris Hilton.
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes
"It is essential for the effectiveness of monetary policy that
inflation expectations remain anchored to the target. There is
no evidence from Consensus forecasts that this is under threat
over the longer term: projections for CPI inflation in 2012–17
are close to the 2% target. But market-based breakeven
inflation rates and shorter-term survey measures of
households' inflation expectations have picked up a little over
the past 18 months or so. Interpreting those movements is
not straightforward. Market-based measures are linked to RPI
rather than CPI, and contain an inflation risk premium."
It appears to be the interim inflation report of the Monetary Policy Committee of the Bank of England.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Gauny no dae that. Right,sunshine, oan fire or no, nae-one batters a Glesca cop except Glesca fowk. Stitch that, china"
It is a Glasgow Airport baggage handler.
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: "I... SAID... CAN... YOU... TELL... ME... HOW... TO... GET... TO... THE... TRAIN... STATION?!"
It is a tourist.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes:"... NO. Not on your feet. Shove 'em down the front of your trousers."
It's a stranger- in the loo- giving me socks.
That's not my cow.
(PS-- see Terry Pratchett "Monstrous Regiment"
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes:"play nicely with the other kids. Are you wearing clean underwear, you might get hit by a bus. Have you washed behind your ears?."
It is my mother.
That's not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: "The geometric point is an invisible thing. Therefore, it must be defined as an incorporeal thing. Considered in terms of substance, it equals zero. Thus we look upon the geometric point as the ultimate and most singular union of silence and speech. The geometric point has, therefore, been given its material form, in the first instance, in writing. It belongs to language and signifies silence."
It is Vasili Kandinsky
That's not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes round and round.
It is the wheels on the bus
That's not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Bonsai!"
It's a pygmy kamikaze.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "No, Dougal, they are small because they are far away"
It is a Father Ted.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Nu!"
It's Sir Bedevere the Wise .
It is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: "Oh baby, you KNO-O-OW what I like!"
It is the Big Bopper.
It is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: "one... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten..."
It is 1-800-GOLF-TIP.*
It is not my cow.
*when I was in high school, this is actually what you'd hear when you called the number. Eventually they disconnected it, but for years, it was just a weird voice counting to ten over and over.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "My hovercraft is full of eels"
It's.....Monty Pythons Flying Circus .
It is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes:
asvfpsadjvsv76as67fw2cv:!"3123
It is an ex-Prime Minister trying to send a text message (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6896760.stm)
It is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It **rumbles**.
It is a Toadfish.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Any Arab scrotums to bite?"
It's a honey badger in Basra .
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.
It is UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes:
I am a much maligned person, who was always working in the national interest, but have been sadly misunderstood and unappreciated by the public, press, BBC, and Channel 4 whose unwarranted hounding I have borne with great fortitude. It is Alastair Campbell's diary on BBC2. It is hilarious, but
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "It wasn't fraud"
It is Conrad Black
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Celery!"
It's the reformed cookie monster.
It is not my cow.
Quote from: Swatopluk on July 14, 2007, 12:04:10 PM
It's the reformed cookie monster.
aside.... "i never knew The Cookie Monsters (http://www.band4u.co.uk/srch_view.php?band_id=918) split up.....
...please continue
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Yodeliarrrgh!"
It's an Alpine Pirate.
It is not my cow.
Quote from: Swatopluk on July 15, 2007, 09:13:13 AM
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Yodeliarrrgh!"
It's an Alpine Pirate.
It is not my cow.
You get a HUG for that one my dear!
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, " I need ten dollars for the concert on Friday-can I camp out with jessica, elizabeth, edge, tyler, dustin, etc in the back yard on Friday night-we are out of food- my phone is our of minutes can you get me more-I have to have new school clothes because school starts back at the end of August and all the black emo-core stuff might be gone by then........."
It's my teen age daughter
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Drop your panties, Sir William, I cannot wait till lunchtime!"
It is also Monty Python.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I dont get enougth hugs from anthrobabe so i will mention alpine pirates"
It is a jealous goat.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes [removed by censor as unprintable]
It is [censored for your protection], the talk radio man.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Come and see the violence inherent in the system!"
It is a constituional peasant named Dennis.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "We believe that the decision to pardon him (Scooter Libby) was fair and balanced"
It is a cow. No, as dumb as a cow.
GWB is definitively not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It is smoking
It is a GNU.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Please speak after the beep"
It is the answerphone
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Eee, Dennis there's some lovely filth down here!"
It is a constitutional peasant named Dennis's missus
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Vive le Quebec libre!"
It is Charles de Gaulle.
It is not my cow.
Quote from: goat starer on July 16, 2007, 01:59:08 AM
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I dont get enougth hugs from anthrobabe so i will mention alpine pirates"
It is a jealous goat.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Alter ipse amicus."
It is a hug from anthrobabe
It is not my cow. It is a goat!
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!"
It is one of the knights formerly known as the knights who say ni!
It is not my cow!
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
it goes: "In the bleak days of nineteen-eighty-three, as England languished in the doldrums of a ruinous monetarist policy, the good and loyal men of the Permanent Assurance Company-- a once-proud family firm, recently fallen in hard times-- strained under the yoke of their oppressive new corporate management."
It is the narrator of The Meaning of Life
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "|: The immigrants are coming! :|"
It is a nativist
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "dum dum dum dum "
It is an intel pentium processor
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Hare Rama"
It is a Hare Krishna follower
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Have you done a cost justification of doing a cost justification of that project?"
It is a corporate pissant.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Moo"
It is a cow.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "dum dum dum dum dum"
It is a nokia telephone
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes up the chimney down, but not down the chimney up.
It is an umbrella.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes,"All warfare is based on deception."
It is SunTzu
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes,"hey i took anthrobabe to a half century of hugs!"
It is Me
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It sounds like two people hugging in the broom cupboard
Can't think who they are, but
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "18..20.."
It is a Skat Player
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It voted for George W. Bush.
It is a Silly Cow.
It is not my cow.
That was kind of you, I wouldn't have used 'silly'...
---
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "It is nevertheless difficult to see how the title of 'Church' could possibly be attributed to [Protestant communities], given that they do not accept the theological notion of the Church in the Catholic sense and that they lack elements considered essential to the Catholic Church."
It is the Pope.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "It will, I believe, be everywhere found, that as the clergy are, or are not what they ought to be, so are the rest of the nation."
It is Jane Austen.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I wonder what happened to him"
It is Noel Cow-Ard
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition"
It is a US Navy Chaplain during the attack on Pearl Harbour.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Och Aye Come on the The Blue Brazil and Hoots Mon Laddie!"
It is a COW-denbeath F.C supporter
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I don't do the N-word!"
It is Quoth the Raven
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Polonium? Us?"
It is Moscow.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes (in an eldritch voice)"When will we three meet again?"
It is the COW (Coven of Witches).
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes..."Eat more Chikin"
It is the new Chick-fil-A restaurant in my town(people were camped out in tents- I lie not)
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes..."I knew Ginny was lying about the tatto"
It is Ronald Weasley
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Pick up your litter"
It is the CCTV
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Extrem günstiges Viagra"
It is spam in the mailbox
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I started off as sheep, then progressed to goat and now enjoy the green pasture like a contented cow. "
It is JJJ
It is not my cow.
:mrgreen:
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I wonder what's over that hill there?"
It is my inner goat
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Tax Cuts Tax Cuts"
It is a psittacus norquistii
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes
"The behaviour in what we are observing in the last seven weeks is identical in many respects to what we saw in 1998 and what we saw in the stock market crash of 1987"
It is a retired central banker spooking the markets.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "The Jihadists are coming! The Jihadists are coming!"
It is a GOP campaigner
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, "moo".
It is a person working at NASA who can no pronounce the 'n' sound.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, "I do!".
It is Aggie. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
It is not my cow.
:D
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, *lurk* *lurk*
It is ShutUpFaye,
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, "Ingrid continues to lack organized deep convection...".
It is a forecaster from the NHC (http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/index.shtml)
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, "TLAP"
It is Talk Like A Pirate Day
It is not my cow
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: employees "acted lawfully and appropriately in response to a hostile attack"
It is Blackwater, after the murder of 11 civilians in Iraq by their employees.
It definitively is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I am not gay!"
It is likely a GOPerative
It is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Your honor, it was a misunderstanding, the $20 were a donation (and my fly was accidentally open at the time)"
It is a Florida GOP senator accused of soliciting oral sex to an undercover officer.
It is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes Aaaarrrghiooooooooooinnnng!
It is a stray pirate
It is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes Pfffffffffth!!!
It is a raspberry.
It is not my cow.
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes down, down, ever down
It is a Pat Robertson's credibility (with an extra downturn for endorsing Rudy)
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Breathtaking inanity"
It is a Judge Jones
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "The most powerful leader in the world had called upon me to speak on his behalf and help restore credibility he lost amid the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So I stood at the White house briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior-most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby.
There was one problem. It was not true.
I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice President, the President's chief of staff, and the president himself."
It is Scott McClleland
It is not my cow.
http://chuckfor.blogspot.com/2007/11/scott-mcclelland-what-happened.html
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "If man is descended from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?"
It is creationist.
It is not my cow.
(Sorry...been "debating" creationists all day.)
I always use 'if man was created from dust, why is there still dust?' in response to that one... :P
Quote from: The Meromorph on November 21, 2007, 04:15:40 PM
I always use 'if man was created from dust, why is there still dust?' in response to that one... :P
Ok I think I'm going to worship you now--- do you mind? :thankyou:
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes PFFFT and sprays hydraulic fluid everywhere.
It makes me shovel up 430 kg of snow and soil.
It is a track-mounted drill rig.
It is not my cow.
::)
Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes, brrt..buh-buh-buh. Brrrrrt-buh-buh-buh. Brrrrt-----Raaaaaarrrrrwwwwwrrrr!
It cuts up fallen trees and branches.
It is my chain saw, doing good deeds for the neighbors (who don't have a gas powered chain-cow---err, saw)
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I rarely meet anyone who wants to be a member of a parliament when they grow up".
It is Gordon Brown.
It is not my cow
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Has someone seen my Tamiflu? And cancel that flight to Egypt!"
It's a pig.
It's not my cow.
But now I may have the flu too
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It has two horns, but it says 'Put! put! put!".
It is my motorcycle.
It is not my cow
Where is my cow?
It is black, and glows with green lights.
It refuses to play the previous-generation games, even though it was specifically advertised to so do.
It is an Xbox360.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Fire and Fury"
It is a Donald Trump.
It is not my cow.
Where's my cow? Is that my cow?
It goes [rain, rain, rain...]
It's Harvey over Houston.
It's not my cow.
Where''s my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes Brexit is Brexit
It is Theresa May
It is not my cow.