Toadfish Monastery

Open Water => Forum Stuff => Announcements => Topic started by: Sibling DavidH on February 13, 2013, 10:22:06 AM

Title: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling DavidH on February 13, 2013, 10:22:06 AM
Siblings may be aware that a major campaign is under way at TOP to get our dear comrade Pieces Of Nine elected as pope.  I feel we should all support this with a campaign here.

PIECES FOR POPE!
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on February 13, 2013, 10:36:38 AM
Is she a Roman Catholic? That seems to be a condition for that position. Iirc actual belief is not.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Bluenose on February 13, 2013, 11:22:18 AM
That doen't matter all that much, any catholic can baptise her.  Probably even an old lapsed atheist type ex catholic like me could do the job, just have to splash her and say the words!
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on February 13, 2013, 11:51:46 AM
But would she want to join that club?
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling DavidH on February 13, 2013, 12:40:46 PM
Quote from: Pieces at TOP...I've been running for pope for decades. I am willing to confer cardinalships in a shamelessly nepotistic fashion on all supporters bringing me closer to those ruby prada slippers. And I ask you, who would look more stunning in the papal tiaras, me or Roy? Damn straight, skippy.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Opsa on February 13, 2013, 03:56:43 PM
I would like to see her in the ruby Pradas. She could click them three times and say "There's No Place Like Rome".

I aint going to no TOP, though. I'll just support her from here. I mean, what better place to support an upcoming Pope than a monastery? Just keepin' it real, son.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Aggie on February 13, 2013, 04:11:04 PM
The only reverence for the Pope in our family was that the Pope's nose (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygostyle) from the turkey gets given to the patriarch at family dinners (one could say that the only reverence for the patriarch in our family is that he is required to eat the turkey's posterior bits).

However, huzza for Pieces for Pope!  P'raps she could turn the Popemobile into a mobile toadfish aquarium. ;)
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on February 13, 2013, 04:55:37 PM
Shouldn't a female pope be a mome?
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Aggie on February 13, 2013, 05:06:49 PM
Beware the mome's wrath? ;)
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on February 13, 2013, 05:11:56 PM
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling DavidH on February 13, 2013, 05:24:27 PM
Opsa, I'm not suggesting anybody needs to post on TOP if they don't like it - that's why I've started another campaign here.  All in-favour usernames from here and TOP and HAF will go into my email to the Vatican.  ;D
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Opsa on February 13, 2013, 05:59:40 PM
Duly noted, good sir. Do carry on, with our blessings. I'll try to locate some striped pirate stockings for her to wear with her ruby Pradas. That might be a good look (http://cdn2.mamapop.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/ruby-slippers-under-the-house-in-Oz.jpg) for her, but we'll have to watch out for falling houses.

Mome? That's hilarious.  :ROFL:
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on February 13, 2013, 07:09:57 PM
**rumble**
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: pieces o nine on February 13, 2013, 07:29:06 PM
Dujes.   :blush:

I was a cradle catholic, and I've been running a grass roots campaign since the election of JP-one. My original plan for my papal name was 'Gabriel' -- who announces SHOCKING! changes -- nyuk nuyk nyuk.   DavidH is trying to name me Pope Skwirrel; maybe it can be hyphenated.   :)

Opsa, love the shoes!   :)

Blue: I was duly baptized all right. But I don't think I can pass *one* of the litmus tests.   ;)

Swato: I'll trust you to come up with a title of significant gravitas and comedy. Dignified, yet casual. Iconic, yet iconoclastic.   ;)

Aggie: you could run the Vatican cafe and shake up the menu.   :)
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling Zono (anon1mat0) on February 13, 2013, 07:35:32 PM
Can a post-op transsexual be elected priest/pope?
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Pachyderm on February 13, 2013, 09:40:21 PM
There may be other litmus test problems, aside from confused looks when the Papal nut-sack verification chair is utilised (and yes, I know that doesn't really happen, but the mental image of a Cardinal with his hands under the stool looking baffled, with Pieces sat there, grinning like a monkey, is too good to pass up...)

Namely:

Pope Urban VI was the last pope elected from outside the College of Cardinals. This was in 1378, and it's been a "jobs-for-the-boys" number since.

The last person elected as pope who was not already an ordained priest or monk was Pope Leo X in 1513.

Plus, although I am not sure, I think the candidate must be under 80 (Pieces OK), and over 56 (Pieces not OK)

It is also considered bad form to campaign for the Papacy. Having said that, it's generally considered bad form to molest kids as well, and there have been quite a few priests implicated in that sort of thing...

You might be better trying for the position of Anti-Pope.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on February 13, 2013, 10:07:03 PM
The age rule is relatively new. Iirc it got introduced by Paul VI. and the first election it applied to was that of John Paul I (who lasted just a month). It could be be lifted in time for the next.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on February 13, 2013, 10:09:24 PM
Quote from: Sibling Zono (anon1mat0) on February 13, 2013, 07:35:32 PM
Can a post-op transsexual be elected priest/pope?
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

I do not know the answer but I know for sure that it has been offcially decided (I guess negatively).
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Opsa on February 14, 2013, 04:00:01 PM
Pieces is an ordained monk. We ordained her here as a cyber-monk. She is fully qualified, aside from the air in her codpiece.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on February 14, 2013, 10:18:39 PM
Other faiths have older claims on monkhood than the newcomer called christianity :rulez:
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Pachyderm on February 14, 2013, 10:32:55 PM
Ordination isn't a problem, anyone can get ordained.I'm an ordained Minister. It's amazing what can happen on the Intarwebs at 3 in the morning when tiddly...

It's the other elements which will scupper the plan....
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling Qwertyuiopasd on February 15, 2013, 01:29:48 AM
I'm now imagining the "well I didn't vote for you" scene from Holy Grail, only with the Pope and some democratically minded Catholics.

Anyway, I thought all Pieces had to do was get into the conclave, and be the first person to find the key. Once you decide who gets out and when, you've pretty much got it made, right?
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on February 15, 2013, 01:32:53 AM
She needs to check the emission of white smoke too.

Hi Q, nice to see you.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Opsa on February 15, 2013, 03:35:23 PM
I volunteer to dance around with a smudge stick, and if some of the white smoke happens to look like it's coming out of the Vatican chimney, well,what can be done?

Hi Q!!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling DavidH on March 13, 2013, 06:26:08 PM
Sorry, Siblings, it is with deep sadness that I must make this announcement:  white smoke was emitted at about 19:10 local tonight.  While we do not yet know the identity of the new incumbent, insider information reports that it isn't Pieces. :headbang: :pope: :eeksign:
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 13, 2013, 06:33:21 PM
? 19:10 - it's only 18:33 in London. Are you a Profit? If so, we need to get you a special robe. Or is it local to Rome rather than London? I do find life difficult  ::)
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling DavidH on March 13, 2013, 06:48:10 PM
Rome local.  I think they call it CET, but I'm not sure.  BBC TV news interrupted a story to show the smoke from the vaticam at 18:10 GMT.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 13, 2013, 06:51:17 PM
And the election took 1d 1h 31min and 5 rounds
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling DavidH on March 13, 2013, 06:51:59 PM
Who fired the rounds?  Was anybody hurt?
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Opsa on March 13, 2013, 08:21:28 PM
My theory is that Pieces actually is Pope, and that this Pope Francis guy is just a figurehead.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 13, 2013, 08:25:24 PM
Quote from: Sibling DavidH on March 13, 2013, 06:51:59 PM
Who fired the rounds?  Was anybody hurt?

Since they all wear red, this might be difficult to ascertain
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 13, 2013, 09:01:34 PM
Who chooses the name, aka Francis? Why do Pope's have to go under pseudonyms? After all, we all know who they really are.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 13, 2013, 09:07:27 PM
The tradition arose at a time when the pagan given names were not seen as proper for a pope anymore (and possibly too vulgar too).
Later, when the numbering came into fashion, it became a statement of intention, i.e. if one named oneself XXX the nth that meant that one would follow the example of previous pope(s) XXX the (i=1 to i=n-1)th
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 13, 2013, 09:10:32 PM
Quote from: Swatopluk on March 13, 2013, 09:07:27 PM.......it became a statement of intention, i.e. if one named oneself XXX the nth that meant that one would follow the example of previous pope(s) XXX the (i=1 to i=n-1)th

How retrograde.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 13, 2013, 09:14:31 PM
Hey, we are talking about the RCC here. What did you expect?
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 13, 2013, 09:17:58 PM
I expect a forward thinking organisation who are able to prove Jesus mounted the cross and returned from the dead in 3 days and also did stuff like walking on water and loaves and fishes stuff. Actually walking on water is quite possible - there's a species of bug that do that.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 13, 2013, 09:20:18 PM
I would consider that setting your expectations too high.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 13, 2013, 09:21:05 PM
Do you have no faith in me?
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 13, 2013, 09:22:52 PM
Why should I have faith in someone who has faith into the RCC acting rationally and according to its original mission statement?
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 13, 2013, 09:23:56 PM
One day my Prince will come.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Darlica on March 13, 2013, 09:25:51 PM
Quote from: Griffin NoName on March 13, 2013, 09:21:05 PM
Do you have no faith in me?

:ty: :halo:
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 13, 2013, 09:33:56 PM
Quote from: Griffin NoName on March 13, 2013, 09:23:56 PM
One day my Prince will come.

Don't have faith in royalty, just royalties
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 14, 2013, 12:45:29 AM
This is not the Last Post.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 14, 2013, 12:56:24 AM
But maybe the last pope
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: pieces o nine on March 14, 2013, 02:24:51 AM
sobs heart-brokenly over cassock, chasuble, maniple, stole, and silver pectoral cross* 

*vows to rise from the (white) ashes and set up a rival papacy*  :pope:
(if it was good enough for the french involving two other benedicts, it's good enough for me)



Dilecti Fratres et Sorores:

Omnis gratias pro fidelitate tibi.
Omnis consolationis pro gratias.
Omnis gratias ago omnibus vobis pro vestra humor.

Concedo moestus electionem.

Sed omnia non est perditur!

Voveo inciperet anti-papatus hic in conciliári oceanus harenae.
Vos omnes cardinales in corde meo semper.

Recordemur semper: "blasphemia; blas pro vobis; blas unusquisque enim in conclave!"
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 14, 2013, 10:41:23 AM
Sounds a little babelfishy to me :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling DavidH on March 14, 2013, 12:26:49 PM
Sounds good to me, with just the odd hiccup.  Sorry, Pieces - we'll be on your team next time.  After all, the man is 76.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Griffin NoName on March 14, 2013, 08:15:00 PM
I suspect this man (is a Pope a man?) was a compromise choice....... which leaves us with two opposing real choices........ who knows, maybe Pieces was one of those?
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: pieces o nine on March 15, 2013, 01:29:00 AM
Quote from: Swatopluk on March 14, 2013, 10:41:23 AM
Sounds a little babelfishy to me :mrgreen:
Surely you're not casting aspersions on the mad skillz of Cardinal Google-Translate? I had him hard at work, from English-to-Latin and Latin-to-English and back again, until something profound and close enough to my intention was brought forth!
Perhaps I should deliver future addresses in Igpay Atinlay. :pope:


Well, David's right, the new guy is 76 and not in the peak of health, so who knows.  Next year, In Auvignon!   ;)


Grif: he was elected pretty quickly, so maybe not that much a compromise. Also, THE LORD may work in mysterious ways and even pour out his spirit on women (!), but it would be a cold day in hell before any Cardinal voted for .... a ... one is almost unable to speak the word! ... female.    :-X
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Swatopluk on March 15, 2013, 01:36:32 AM
On the other hand the guy walks around with only one lung for several decades now. Must be rather tough.
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith on March 15, 2013, 02:48:55 AM
Quote from: Swatopluk on March 15, 2013, 01:36:32 AM
On the other hand the guy walks around with only one lung for several decades now. Must be rather tough.

At least that means he's 50% less hot air than the previous ones.

::)
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Opsa on March 15, 2013, 02:07:14 PM
But is he man enough to ovulate?!?
Title: Re: Pieces For Pope!
Post by: Sibling DavidH on March 15, 2013, 04:25:43 PM
You can never tell with these priests.  :mrgreen: