Toadfish Monastery

Open Water => Serious Discussion => Spirituality => Topic started by: Sibling Chatty on August 20, 2008, 02:05:58 AM

Title: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Sibling Chatty on August 20, 2008, 02:05:58 AM
http://www.themonastery.org/

(I do like their bumper sticker, though.)
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: beagle on August 24, 2008, 09:17:55 PM
I'm torn between the Doctorate of Divinity at $30 or the baseball cap at $7.

Not so keen on the martyr (http://www.themonastery.org/catalog/receiveareligioustitle-p-65.html) title for $10 though.

Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Sibling Chatty on August 24, 2008, 09:51:27 PM
I'm thinking of bypassing the lower orders and going straight for Goddess.

Too bad they don't have Reverend Auntie... :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Darlica on August 24, 2008, 10:12:56 PM
Interesting collection of "famous ministers"...

:mrgreen:
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Sibling Chatty on August 24, 2008, 10:30:01 PM
All four Beatles and Hunter S. Thompson?? Yeah, I'd join that group, just keep John Wayne Bobbitt and Glenn Beck on the other side of the altar... :axe: :axe:

Bobbitt would probably run, come to think of it... :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Darlica on August 24, 2008, 11:04:18 PM
Heh.
You want any help with the chasing, I have a sharp but useless bread knife in the kitchen? :mrgreen:

My thought when I read the list "wonder what happens if Chatty gets in the same room as Mr Bobbit... ...he better wear a susp" ;D

I like Leary but I wonder what a wedding with him as a minister would be like, there's a very sharp tongue attached to that man... :)

Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: beagle on August 25, 2008, 04:57:09 PM
Could always base it on Bernice's service (The female vicar from the The League of Gentlemen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_League_of_Gentlemen)).


"I have to say I think you're both mad...Imagine. Endless nights in with nothing to say. Awkward fumblings between the sheets as your passion fades...the grinding tedium of enforced companionship. "

Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Opsa on August 25, 2008, 06:31:27 PM
I was ordained (free online) as a minister of the ULC in June of 2006. I have a certificate printout on my wall.

I think the ULC is pretty cool, even if somewhat hokey. Basically, it says that anyone can be a holy person and really, I think that's right. You don't need any human authority to give you the right to speak about spirituality. We are all mired in our own politics and vanities, some much more than others. Who ultimately is to say which church has the stronger link to the divine? In the end it's just your relationship to the Great Everything that'll let you know what words will help others. If you're feeling it (and personally, I think if it's not saying anything about harming others, it's okay) than that's all the authority you need. Can I get an amen, somebody?

Oh, and by the way, congratulations: you are all absolved of all sins!
http://www.themonastery.org/?destination=absolutionOfSins

Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Sibling Zono (anon1mat0) on August 26, 2008, 02:19:59 AM
I feel cleansed, I am cleansed, I can sin anew!
  :mrgreen: :devil2: :mrgreen: :devil2: :mrgreen: :devil2:  ;)
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: pieces o nine on August 26, 2008, 05:50:08 AM
Just to eb on the safe side, lather up with this (http://www.misspoppy.com/catalog/img/products/soap/soap_lg.jpg) whenever you're getting full-immersion born again.

(http://www.misspoppy.com/catalog/img/products/soap/soap_lg.jpg)
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: anthrobabe on August 26, 2008, 06:58:55 AM
I am ordained in ULC and SH---- so I'm double covered.  ;)

Thanks for the absolution Opsanus-- I do feel better.

Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Opsa on August 26, 2008, 09:50:23 PM
You're quite welcome, any time. The only beef I have with that absolution is that it is not absolute. It's only good for cleansing any sins up to that date. So try not to mess up too much from now on, okay?
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Sibling Chatty on August 27, 2008, 01:15:01 AM
We can re-absolve later, right?

I'ma have to get wicked later this week...gonna NEED some more absolution. :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Darlica on August 27, 2008, 10:27:06 AM
but... but if you get your sins absolved your not our evil aunt any more... :(

What will happen then, we will be all lost and confused! :panic:  ;)


We luv our evil aunt!

;D
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith on August 27, 2008, 07:01:10 PM
Quote from: Sibling Chatty on August 27, 2008, 01:15:01 AM
We can re-absolve later, right?

I'ma have to get wicked later this week...gonna NEED some more absolution. :mrgreen:

Nonsense!  You don't need absolution if your wickedness was righteous and deserving!

I have faith in you Chatty that any wickedness you may or may not need to perform was Well And Justified.

As Such, no Absolution required.

Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Opsa on August 27, 2008, 07:21:47 PM
What BQSF said! Evil is only doing something to flex one's meanie muscle. Slappin' bums when fools can't seem to listen is another thing all together.
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: pieces o nine on August 28, 2008, 04:54:54 AM
Quote from: Bob in a quantum-state-of-faithNonsense!  You don't need absolution if your wickedness was righteous and deserving!

I have faith in you Chatty that any wickedness you may or may not need to perform was Well And Justified.

As Such, no Absolution required.
What he said!



On the other hand, there *is* no absolution for *some* evil -- like this one, for instance.
(http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/media/MA-AbsolutEvil.jpg)
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Opsa on August 28, 2008, 08:51:08 PM
AUGGHHH!

Don't let that thing back out!
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Sibling Zono (anon1mat0) on August 28, 2008, 09:41:44 PM
I'm sorry Opas but it is back out. That genie is out of the bottle... :'(
Title: Re: Universal Life Church copies us?
Post by: Sibling Chatty on August 29, 2008, 12:46:05 AM
It keeps going back TO the bottle though.

Maybe he's trying to empty enough of them to find one he wants to move in to?

No, really, he fell of his bike or was attacked by a rogue pretzel... ::)