Gossip Column

[Griffin NoName]

Stephen Fry is getting married.


http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/stephen-fry-confirms-hes-set-to-marry-his-toy-boy-lover-elliot-spencer-it-looks-as-though-a-certain-cat-is-out-of-a-certain-bag-9959570.html?dkdk%3Fcmpid=facebook-post#

The British actor, 57, is set to wed his lover, stand-up comic Elliot Spencer, 27, in a private wedding.

It sort of surprises me - the age difference - which it should not as nothing wrong with age differences. But I just know people where the elder one gets hurt cos the younger ones often seem to move on eventually. Just feeling protective !

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

So many classic Greece comments, so little time...

[Aggie]

It sort of surprises me - the age difference - which it should not as nothing wrong with age differences. But I just know people where the elder one gets hurt cos the younger ones often seem to move on eventually. Just feeling protective !

An age difference always strikes me as lecherous (in any combination of genders); I feel protective of the younger ones! The elder ones are old enough to know what they are doing, and often don't seem to give a damn about getting hurt provided they get one last kick at the can of youth (pun semi-intended).

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

If the guy were as old as he looked () then he could be a victim, but 27 is old enough, in fact it is possible that neither are going into the relation from an honest angle (the young one trying to take advantage of the wealth and fame of the old one, the old one trying to re-live his youth) although it isn't impossible that one of them (even both) are actually in love with the other, even if the affair is going to be short lived (or at least until Stephen is in good health).

[Griffin NoName]

I feel protective of the younger ones!

I don't normally feel protective either young or old regardless of gender. I tend to think both are exploitative. But Stephen was taught at uni by my ex and I met him a few times then and after.

[Aggie]

If the guy were as old as he looked () then he could be a victim, but 27 is old enough, in fact it is possible that neither are going into the relation from an honest angle (the young one trying to take advantage of the wealth and fame of the old one, the old one trying to re-live his youth) although it isn't impossible that one of them (even both) are actually in love with the other, even if the affair is going to be short lived (or at least until Stephen is in good health).

Actually, I think love is quite possible and often probable from both sides in a May-December romance, even if long-long-term commitment can't be counted on. I'd agree with Griffin that it's the younger one who is more likely to make the break later.

I suppose the angle can be honest, provided there's a lot of honesty and communication in a relationship; however, to explicitly state the benefits for either side might take some of the magic out of it.  The power dynamic is interesting in these sorts of pairings; the older partner holds the aura of power, but if they're deeply in love with the younger one, the latter may hold a lot of the emotional control. The conventional wisdom is that it's the older of the pair that is the lusty, lecherous one, but in some cases the younger one might have a thing for a certain look or age.  Whether that holds out as the older partner more visibly ages is a different matter.

Personally, there's a minimum age that I find attractive in women, which creeps up a bit as I age (25 is the baseline, but practically speaking 27+ is more to my tastes - I'm 34). Part of that is emotional maturity and life experience, part of it is public acceptability. On the upper end, I'm not sure... depends on relationship objectives.  If I'm looking long-long-term and want to have a family, the biological realities dictate someone close to my age or younger.  As a love match or just a shorter-term shared experience? 10 years older wouldn't be a problem.  I think that by your 30s, most people have enough life experience to make age less relevant.  Some go on to gain much more, but many people just keep trucking along from that point.

I don't normally feel protective either young or old regardless of gender. I tend to think both are exploitative. But Stephen was taught at uni by my ex and I met him a few times then and after.

Ah, personal connections...

[Griffin NoName]

All my relationships since my divorce have been with men younger than me, most difference being 10 years or so. But then I look 15 years younger than my real age. (this may sound good but it leads to a fair few problems).

[Darlica]

I think Mr Fry is old enough and wise enough to know that happiness is a volatile thing and one better try to catch it while in reach, even if it doesn't last.

And with Fry's openness about his depression and life in general I think his partner walked into this relationship with eyes open, I don't think Mr Fry would accept anything less...


I do wish them a "happily ever after".