Personal Growth

[jjj]

Good on you, mate!   

[The Meromorph]

It's been my experience, and I've also been told by others, that Pissing Off Aunty Dee Dee (a.k.a Sibling Chatty) is a route to personal growth that may well be described as 'transformational'. 

[Alpaca]

It's been my experience, and I've also been told by others, that Pissing Off Aunty Dee Dee (a.k.a Sibling Chatty) is a route to personal growth that may well be described as 'transformational'. 

Very well put, Mero. 

Don't worry... for we all love you! Have  from me and stop   

jjj, I must say, I find this response to Chatty's post very disconcerting. Yes, her post did express emotion. Although you may pride yourself on your ability to regard anything a forum throws your way dispassionately, here we have a penchant for honest, emotional communication. The fact that Chatty phrased her opinions in a form that made her personal feelings clear does not discredit the points she made within her post.

Your response failed to address any of these, instead taking a condescending tone, and now (I do beg you to correct me if I'm wrong) you seem to consider Chatty's post adequately responded to.

This is what is known as an ad hominem attack, and it is against our policy in discussions to use such attacks because they are logical fallacies. (You, a proponent of logic, ought to recognize that.)

[Sibling Chatty]

Let me express myself differently.

It is a MOST disconcerting thing to see humans referred to in condescending remarks that easily lead to the inference that they are inferior because of some trait or difference that one person doesn't think fits a certain pre-formed criteria.

Those of us who are 'genetically' different have differing abilities, not disabilities. Were I given a choice, I am not certain that I would 'repair' those differences, because the same mutations that gave me the assorted learning disabilities and the poor sense of balance also seem to have been responsible for the quantum leap in testable "IQ", as much as I loathe the entire "IQ SCORE" industry. My parents had 4 children. Both parents are quite intelligent, two of my siblings are/were similarly intelligent. The other sib and I are "learning disabled", me more than him. We're also huge leaps ahead in IQ/intelligence level, whatever criteria you wish to apply to the ability to comprehend, assimilate information, execute functions, etc. I'm MORE impaired, yet smarter.

I've had the benefit of some college education. My younger brother hasn't. I married a college professor who had a lot of problems with the fact that at both universities where he taught, I was offered grad school programs to enter so I could start on a Master's while I 'knocked out' a Bachelor's degree. He was pleased, but perplexed---and was told, in both instances, that seeing as I was obviously the smarter of the two  of us, it'd be a snap. My brother just married a woman who is finishing a Master's degree in Psychological Counseling, preparing to start a PhD program. He's a blues musician, yet her supervising Dr (a Double Doc, MD/PhD) assumed he was a professional of some lawyer/doctor/banker/whatever level from conversing with him.

Test us, we're genetically impaired and have disabilities.

We're also as smart as hell...scary smart.

I doubt that either of us will ever be 'contented' with a level af achievement...if there's a way to do "it" (whatever it is) better faster, with LESS overall expenditure of energy...we want to know, and we'll bust our butts trying. (Genetic trait from Dad? Learned work ethic from Dad? Dad related, definitely.) However...we both appear, at first glance to be "lazy".

One employer always nagged at me because I never LOOKED busy. However, at the end of the day, my measurable work output always outstripped every other employee's. Why? I don't waste movement, I don't waste energy. I figure out what's to be done, how to do it "the right way" and then refine, pare down, distill that job to the necessities of the work.

My brother makes certain musical things he does look effortless. He's considered a phenomenon in certain circles for techniques he's pioneered. Once again, he has an economy of movement in his techniques that stun the knowledgeable observer.

This is , I believe, a result of the specific genetic issues that make us 'learning disabled'. We are defective, yet "superior".

Who is to judge WHAT is 'inferior"? To you, a genetically caused deafness would seem to be a 'disability'. To the deaf, HEARING is a disability. How dreadful is it that ANYONE that wants to intrude in your conversation can just walk up and chatter at you?? To the deaf community, Sign Language is superior, because you can turn your back to 'speakers' that are being rude, insensitive, obtuse, etc. You can SHUT THEM OFF, you don't have to wait for them to SHUT UP!! (I would suggest to you a play or a film entitled "Children of a Lesser God" for mare insight into the world of some of the differently abled.) Yes, you may miss Beethoven, but you get to escape Phillip Glass!

Nature provides a number of examples. Sickle cell and malaria, for instance...some of the striking achievements that individuals along the autism spectrum might have.
==============

Now, as to this whole "shaken baby" thing. It's NOT a growing problem, it's always BEEN a problem, just an underreported one. It has always happened, it just wasn't called this, or as publicized. Almost ANY of the "new and terrible" problems have always been around, it's just that in the past, they weren't discussed. they were hastily swept under the rug and not mentioned in polite company. Child abuse? You bet, all along, throughout history. Sexual abuse of children? Definitely. It's actually LESS prevalent now among young girls than it was 30 years ago, because it HAS been dragged out into the light and exposed. You HEAR more about it, but it's happening less because it IS discussed...AND punished.

Really, assuming that more people abuse infants now because you HEAR about it is contrary to the extreme. BECAUSE you hear about it, people LEARN what to NOT do. Lack of knowledge, IGNORANCE, is a cause. That even old guys that don't have babies around are hearing about it just shows the 'market saturation' of the message.

Auuuugggh. I'm tiring out.

Please, do NOT condescend to me. Many a person that's decided to pat me on my little head and go about their business in exactly the same manner has put out the hand to pat and drawn back a stub.

Arguing from 'observed evidence' is merely a "Blind Men and the Elephant"* parlor conversation. Applying observation to accumulated empirical evidence provided by scientific observation might be a better solution for improving the lot of humankind. And admitting that what you've seen ain't all there is to see would be nice, so putting forth a Unified Theory of What I Say Is Cool...might be a bit--arrogant.

*The Blind Man and the Elephant

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant~(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation~Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side, ~ At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant ~ Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, "Ho! what have we here?
So very round and smooth and sharp? ~ To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant ~ Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands, ~ Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant ~ Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like ~ Is mighty plain," quoth her;
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant ~ Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most; ~ Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant ~ Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail ~ That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant ~ Is very like a rope!

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion ~ Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right ~ And all were in the wrong!

-John Godfrey Saxe

[jjj]

 

Your response failed to address any of these, instead taking a condescending tone, and now (I do beg you to correct me if I'm wrong) you seem to consider Chatty's post adequately responded to.

Showing love and affection isn't condescending... its rather compassionate, I would think.  Yet again it shows that it can be made to be understood this way. The crucial question is: was it meant to be condescending or compassionate?
A: You (all) should know me by now that I abhor to think and act negatively... thus, only the pos remains/ applies. So, please stop highlighting the neg on every move I make. 

Here's the revised edition:
Don't worry... for we all love you! Have  from me, but now stop   

I don't LIKE being condescended to OR insulted.

I don't like it either. No problem with that, but the moment someone shows/ offers you compassion and you spit them in the face, saying: I don't like being condescended then that's your problem. One has to live with the body we have been given... and make the best out of it, remembering, that some other people are even worse off. My dearest aunt, 'Tante Mieze' lived paralyzed from the hip down in a wheelchair and managed to laugh it off for 40 long years, till the age 98! Also, she lived alone in a flat and did all her household chores till the last day.
Did you notice that people of any minority group are strong on protesting for all the wrong reasons? Here in Australia it starts with Aborigines, members of pious organizations right through to Asians and homosexuals. Once I reached out to give an elderly lady a hand to get into the bus... as she yelled at me: Don't touch my bad arm you fool! I immediately let go and I rather close my eyes than to help her again. She saw that I tried to help her and could have easily pointed out which arm was bad. Lucky I didn't grab her head, because it seemed far worse then her arm!

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

I don't like it either. No problem with that, but the moment someone shows/ offers you compassion and you spit them in the face, saying: I don't like being condescended then that's your problem.

The way you said it sounded like you were trying to say: "You're great, thank you for your input, but now please shut up and let the big boys talk." Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but it certainly sounded like that.

Especially due to the fact that you didn't answere to Chatty's post in a proper way and just ignored her completely...

[Sibling Chatty]

Oh, HOLY SHIT!!

Whoever, whatever you are, DO NOT EVER reach out and put a hand on someone to help!! OFFER your hand.

Damn, if you're as old as you say you are, you SHOULD have learned that by now. Even with the visually impaired, you OFFER, then state where you are, and wait for them to accept the offer before touching them!!

Ok, now I understand part of the problem. Boundaries.