Monastery Rules

[Griffin NoName]

1. Do not overfeed the squidlings.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

2. Do not leave Swato's lab door open

[Swatopluk]

Don't disturb the squid chorus or they'll go all Cthulhu on you.

[anthrobabe]

4. do not turn off the nightlights-- really, don't

5. the moat is not for swimming(we have a pool), you may put a boat in the moat but not a motorized one-the moat is for a row boat only-possibly an inflatable dinghy(that's for Black Bart!)

                             

[Swatopluk]

6. No climbing the squid tower without permit and strict security measures

7. No moat urination

8. Check toilets before use for absence of prankish squidlings.

[anthrobabe]

9. Be aware of and report to the proper person(entity,thing,whatever) any and all squidlings found without hall passes- please, be ready to give numbers, direction of travel, types of arms carried, were their any screams heard just before or after the spotting, as well as any other information that will help in tracking

10. Rule 10 is the most important rule, do not mess with rule 10, rule 10 will kick your behind if necessary, rule 10 is the rule dealing with issuing of hall passes to the squidlings. Rule 10 has it's own binder- the large yellow one with "Don't Panic" written on the front in large helpful letters. Please get help before dealing with Rule 10-- Swato may be reached at all times by calling his cell or screaming loudly "Help- I have a Rule 10 issue!".

[Swatopluk]

11. Invoking rules without credibly made-up corroboration for their validity will be dealt with harshly.

12. Invoking rule 11 without following rule 12 closely will be dealt with even more harshly.

[anthrobabe]

13. There is no rule 13, it would be unlucky.

[Bluenose]

Rule 13A.  In the absense of rule 13, rule 13a may be substituted when required

[Swatopluk]

14. Beware of large grey mammals on the premises. They can be easily overlooked if the grass has not been mowed.
14a. Ignore 14., if you like to be flattened.

[Griffin NoName]

15. Do not eat anything in the Lab.

[Swatopluk]

15a. It could contaminate the sophisticated stuff therea dn is therefore against good lab practice

[anthrobabe]

16.  If you do eat anything in the lab- do not re enter the pool for at least 30 minutes or else you will get cramps and possibly drown.

        16a-subparagraph 1 (subject to amendment under rule 13)
                you were actually dumb enough to eat something you found in the lab? Hope your prepaid burial stuff is caught up.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

17. Never, under any circumstances, eat the fish head stew offered to you by any of the forum's pirates.

    17a. Rule 17 most particularly applies to the pirate known as "Bluenose"

[The Meromorph]

18. Do not mention binkies near the moat.

[anthrobabe]

18. Do not mention binkies near the moat.

ummm, Mero-- you have really done it now. It seems you have forgotten that they are telepathic and well- you though binkies and that rumbling sound is not Pachy waiting for lunch.


19. Don't think it either

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

20. If you see pink elephants, lay down and close your eyes. They won't bother you if you lay completely still.

[Swatopluk]

21. Always memorize the tide tables or you risk to be washed out of the pub when you lie under the table at the wrong hour.

[Sibling Chatty]

22. Do not, under any circumstances, allow one of the squidlings to have access to any of the shoes that Chatty leaves shed about the place. (We're not sure why they're collecting them, but they don't need access to that much building material at once.)

[Swatopluk]

23. Don't run with cutlasses

[Opsa]

24) Please reserve any nudist tendencies for the "au natural" areas of the monastery, especially if you are seeing pink elephants, Sibling Kiyo.

We don't want to alarm (or trip) any tourists.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

25) Do not put your stash of grog anywhere the squidlings can find. Ever. Drunk squidlings may be worse than a naked Kiyo.

[Opsa]

What can you do with a drunken squidling
What can you do with a naked Kiyo
What can you do with a naked squidling
Ear-ly in the morning...

26) Never sing that.

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

26) Don't make fun of a naked Kiyo.

27) A naked Kiyo is just a sign of protest agianst the commercialism of the society, so respect his wish to be naked and protest.

28) Getting naked is not wrong, get naked together with Kiyo and the squidlings.

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

28a) or don't

29) making a rule with a harsh punishment will be met with torture and often death.

[Griffin NoName]

30) torture and death may only occur in the torture and death room which even the torurers and death agents cannot find

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

31) if you tell them where it is, they'll probably kill you first.

[Opsa]

32) Okay, be naked if you like, but don't be naked AND run with cutlasses. That's dangerous.

[Griffin NoName]

33) Directions to the nude bathing beach must not be removed.

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

33a) nor must they be reproduced

34) you will probably have at least one quote or quote-like phrase in your signature.

[Opsa]

33b) but sometimes reproduction is a side-effect of nakedness.

35) Hug early and hug often

[Pachyderm]

36. Do not mow the grass. Grass has as much of a right to life as the rest of us. And I can't hide in short grass.

37. Do not get in the way of large grey memmals when:

A. The food bell goes, or

B. The pub opens

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

38) stand not between a Kiyo and his Alcohol

39) stand not between a Swato and his laboratory

40) stand not between a Qwerty and his fiendish posting

[The Meromorph]

41) Stand not between a Sweeper and his Broom.

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

42) This is the ultimate rule about life, the universe, and everything.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

42a) Do not question rule 42. Millions of years of computing went into it.

[Opsa]

43) 43 is another answer to life, the universe and everything, but it may not be as accurate under certain circumstances.

[anthrobabe]

44) Rule 44 is simply rule 42 plus 2, in all things- even math- 42 is the answer. This can be seen thus      x+y=44, y=42 therefore42 is always correct


Last Post

[The Meromorph]

45) Rule 42 is always correct. For a given value of Rule 42.

[anthrobabe]

46) Always forgive anthrobabe when she gets her threads mixed up. She is harmless- just lost on occasion.

47)  Pizza is a food acceptable for all meals.

48) Naveen Andrews is the hottie of the universe

[Opsa]

48a) The universe in question being the one belonging to anthrobabe.
(He was pretty hot in The English Patient, as I recall, but that was the hottest role in the movie.)

49) Everyone's universe may have it's own hottie.

[anthrobabe]

50) Yes! true, each Universe may have it's own hottie- more to go around-
this is a wise and sage rule to not be forgotten

51) Siblings climbing up the stairs have right of way to sibling going/coming down the stairs.

52) All sibling must hug one another at least once a day 

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

54) All siblings must keep track of their various pets

[Swatopluk]

55) cannon firing after hours only with written permit (and no selfpermission!)

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

(sorry, late but:)

47a: ...provided that not only pizza is on the menu.