Fight Club!

[goat starer]

need to relieve a bit of tension? stuck in a dead end job? Fancy demolishing capitalism using soap? join fight club! The rules are simple....

1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB.

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB.

3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.

4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.

5th RULE: One fight at a time.

6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.

7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.

8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight.



so without further ado.......



Goat stands in the centre and awaits his first adversity. his toned torso (we can dream!) shines in the sodium lighting. who will step up to the plate? .................

[Aggie]

Sorry Goatie - I have to catch up on my 'homework'. 

[The Meromorph]

Um..? Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot? Over.

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

So, it's goat meat on the menu tonight?

[Pachyderm]

A blare of trumpets (well, one, anyway) announces the entrance of the contender.

Stands, grinning slightly, in the centre of the room.

[goat starer]

goat rushes at the pachyderm and stops suddenly realising that it is a 3 tonne hulking grey monstrosity and not likely to go down like a common or garden troll   ! this was exactly the start i feared! 

[Griffin NoName]

Griffin hands out the soap ?

[The Meromorph]

It's horns versus tusks at the fight club tonight!


Cute little corrugated horns. 

Honking' great earth-ripping, tree-smashing, bowel-piercing TUSKS! 

I'll make the popcorn, keep my seat for me... 

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

I'll handle the bar...

........


No, better idea, keep me away from the bar, if you want some drinks, with me at the bar, the drinks are disappearing very fast.....


Why do I see three elephants, four goats and a pink mouse fighting?

And who set up the barbecue?

[Pachyderm]

With a steely glint in the eye, he sets Goat up for the Granddaddy of all gorings, sways to the side, and with a sharp upward motion totally misses, spearing dentition into the roof.

[goat starer]

the nimble goat, climbs a tree (they do it HONEST and leaps down onto pacyderms neck!  then he realises he has only hooves and cannot grip. all thoughts of elephantine strangualation leave his mind as he falls into a bruised mess on the floor ands...


TAPS OUT>>>>> anyone want to talke on an elephant? we have a mouse in here?

[Pachyderm]

Stands in the corner, twitching, and endlessly repeating "Who is the Daddy?"

Prays the squidlings have got all the mice.....

[The Meromorph]

Mero steps quietly away from the popcorn machine.


Picks up his broom.


Smiles gently at PachyDerm and asks...

"Have you heard of Rule 1?"

[Pachyderm]

Indeed he has.

Nods head, and sits down.

[The Meromorph]

Mero hands the broom to Opas.


I'm making a cup ot tea, would you like one?