The doghouse (This is a crak up!)

[stellinacadente]

Now this is too funny... but it's sooo true some man just haven't a clue

http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/video.aspx

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Now this is too funny... but it's sooo true some man just haven't a clue

http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/video.aspx

All I can say is: What an ungrateful b!tch!

I hope I never meet such a gold digger as that poor man was chained to.... I didn't even finish the idiotic video after she acted like such an ingrate.

*bleah*

And no, I'm not laughing, either....

[anthrobabe]

It's an advertisement for a the JC Penny jewelry store--

[Darlica]

It would be funny if there wasn't so many women willing to forgive a man if he just opened his wallet and bought her some jewellery or so many men that think a diamond or two would be good way to solve a problem.
I can say a lot about what I think of men and women cementing the "diamonds are a girls best friend" cliché but I won't because it wouldn't be neither humble or unprejudiced...   

[stellinacadente]

well the world is a wonderful place because different people have different tastes and opinions and can be still civilized about it...

ain't it Bob? 

I do not share the diamond thing... but I do not share the vacuum cleaner or any other object for the care of the home either as a gift for a special occasion...

I'd rather have a book...

but that is _my_ personal preference...

I thought the video was funny per se...

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

well the world is a wonderful place because different people have different tastes and opinions and can be still civilized about it...

ain't it Bob? 

Oh, sure--- difference makes the world go 'round. 

But I was just struck in a bad way...why does a "anniversary" gift need to be both expensive and useless?  (aka. glitter/jewels/etc)  The vac he purchased for her was probabily worth $500.  Sure, a diamond ring costs 4 times that, but what good is it?  Okay, aside from cutting glass..... it's a worthless statement of "look how much money *I* have to throw away".  A very expensive vac is a tool, and can make housecleaning easier to do (as opposed to a cheap one).   

Had that been *my* wife/girlfriend?  I'd'a divorced/dumped her ungrateful butt post-haste.  And, I'd have demanded any jewelry I'd given her back, too....

Any woman who is swayed by that? [expensive baubles] I've no interest in knowing.   Yeah, I know it's rooted in an instinctive behavior (provider/protector/etc) but I expect women to rise above such base instincts.  If *I* can rise above my basic instincts, I expect at least the same in a partner.   

And, to me, the ad just perpetrates the stereotype that women are easily satisfied by spending a boatload of cash on useless glitter.... that's no better than saying all men are only swayed by a set of hooters.... neither is true, and neither is funny.  To me.

I suppose, after battling fundies over on Topix, I was not in the mood for yet another stereotype...

[Swatopluk]

Why not some new valves for the HPLC pump? There are rubies in them.

[Opsa]

Big hugs to youse guys for working it out.

Cheers to a new year of seeing eyepatch-to-eyepatch!
 

[Darlica]

Stelli and Bob  to both of you!

I love baubles! And my SO are very welcome to buy some for me if and when he wishes to...
_{(I tend to buy most of my glitter my self)}
Gifts are lovely and I think they are quite important in a relationship, it's one way to show that you care... What I react against it the idea that they have to be expensive and that jewellery are considered the perfect gift and of cause that it's always the man who should buy the gifts. Personally I take (or give) a cheap but well considered gift over an expensive but ill-considered gift any day! 

(What use do you have for a couple of diamond earrings when the thing you want most at the moment is a pocket book or a USB memory stick? _{a long time ago I was admitted to hospital, the woman in the bed across the room got earrings from her husband L gave me a pocket book, she was jealous -and bored.} 


That said, if a man  gave me a vacuum cleaner I would be out of the house the very same day! A vac is for the household  which we share, giving it to me  as a gift implies that I  should use it, and in my world household chores are something you share.
I once got a vac as a birthday present... but that was when I had moved to my first own flat and it was my mom who gave it to me and that's a whole other ballgame.

However no one can or should demand a gift, because then it's not a gift, it's a payment...

[anthrobabe]

Ya know i see both points on this.

As a woman who has no interest in diamonds I think the idea is disgusting that we women are only happy with expensive gifts with no thought behind them-- I do like jewelry but not for everything and no diamonds at all.
I also do not like the idea that is pounded into a man's head (hopefully by the pounder anyway) that all we want is jewelry or other shallow gifts  vs something he comes up with himself on his own by knowing us and our tastes. February and it's trapping make me ill- and I consider myself pretty romantic at heart- but this idea of buy her a rock and some candy and all will be well is lunacy-buy me something you know I will like (like a membership to the zoo or something or concert tickets) and that shows thought and it will be great. Kind of what Darlica is saying- for a real woman vs a _______ it is the thoughts and ideas of her SO that are important and the showing of love and affection. I also do not like the idea that all men are so stupid asnd clueless about the women they are in a relationship with.

However-- do not give me an appliance traditionally used by the female in her correct role of housewife as a big anniversary gift- no matter it's cost- it brings to mind the ideal (false) of June wearing her pearls and heels waiting for Ward to come home from the real world/job/work/important business-- however discussing the matter with me is perfectly acceptable. Asking me -- ummmm, i'm not sure, I think I know and this is what I am thinking about a gift might not be knight on a white horse (yet another  ideal) thing but it is an honest thing between two mature people who give a damn about the other and can communicate.

I also agree
a gift is a gift or otherwise it is something else entirely.

So on one hand the video is funny- it is so completely stereotypical as to be ludacris in the least. That is served to begin a dialog makes it valuable in my book.
On the other- completely not funny
Unfortunately we are a minority in the world and many won't take it any further than simply a commercial. 

(Bob- I had to stop visiting topix they make my head hurt-keep up the good fight- I do visit from time to time and read what you've had to say)

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

(Bob- I had to stop visiting topix they make my head hurt-keep up the good fight- I do visit from time to time and read what you've had to say)

*blush*

I suppose my attitude was formed by reading too much Robert Heinlein.

I remember one passage, where a naive [with regards to historical cultural norms] woman was told about some (to her ancient) cultures where sex was bartered for and sold (the late 20th and early 21st in RAH's "future history").  Her response?  Something like, "money?  Those women only wanted money?  Me? I'd insist on rare rubies or diamonds at the least...something that would literally cost the man all he had.  On the other hand, if I liked him, and he asked nicely?  I'd be happy to give it away for free...sex should be happy-making for both parties.  Or healing.  Or both."

What really set me off was the ungrateful attitude of the woman. 

I was raised, that a gift was a gift regardless of whatever it was.  You said "thank you".  You at the minimum, pretended to appreciate the hard work that it represented (if it did--anything expensive represents that, unless one is filthy rich, in which case the only gifts with meaning involve copious amounts of personal time to create...).   You never, ever complained, or said it wasn't any good.  You certainly didn't punish the giver for giving it to you.

That is what set me off, I suppose.   It was apparent that the clueless man actually tried to get something [to him] "frilly".  That it was a tool, and a useful one at that, only shows that it would've been what he would've wanted, had the roles been reversed.   Guys like things that are useful [tools] and the best you can get/afford.

His attitude beats the woman's all to heck and gone, even if his gift could be seen as stereotype--I didn't see it as stereotype, but I did recognize it was a tool, and that men think tools are cool. 

Be that as it may, the utter cluelessness of both parties involved left me with a bad taste.  That the guy was so clueless to recognize he was married to a literal gold-digger?  Clueless.  That the woman was so clueless that she was married to a man who did not realize just how much of a gold digger she was?  Clueless.   She should have married a rich, uncaring ~sshole.   To match her rich, uncaring tastes...  Then he could have had "people" to get her exactly what she deserved:  a cold, meaningless piece of mineral.  And nothing at all that represented the man she'd married, except perhaps his net worth...

[Darlica]

Tools are cool.

Heck, my SO can give me a power drill or a fine hammer any day if he wishes to and I'd be very happy and grateful...

The difference lies in the fact that I'd enjoy using those tools, however I don't particularly enjoy housecleaning especially not vacuum cleaning.

Now, if you have a good relationship your spouse (because this goes for both men and women) knows what you enjoy in life and what you don't enjoy as much and adjust eventual gifts to that.

Because IMHO gifts are a way to show that you care, how expensive or cheap it is has no real bearing, it should show that you have taken the time and the effort to think about what the other person would like and then find or make it for him or her, showing that you can go that extra mile, if needed.

[The Meromorph]

I've always been in favor of what I believe is the Chinese or Japanese approach to gift giving.

A gift must be attractively wrapped.
(because)
A gift must be explicitly praised, and the wrapping is at that point the only basis on which that praise may be based.
(because)
A gift must never be opened in the presence of the gift giver.
(because)
Personal reaction to the actual gift must be absolutely private. A appropriate response to the actual gift should be indirectly made at an appropriate opportunity.


However, I've never found any of my own associates in favor of this approach, so I follow local custom. 

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Tools are cool.

Heck, my SO can give me a power drill or a fine hammer any day if he wishes to and I'd be very happy and grateful...

The difference lies in the fact that I'd enjoy using those tools, however I don't particularly enjoy housecleaning especially not vacuum cleaning.

Now, if you have a good relationship your spouse (because this goes for both men and women) knows what you enjoy in life and what you don't enjoy as much and adjust eventual gifts to that.

Because IMHO gifts are a way to show that you care, how expensive or cheap it is has no real bearing, it should show that you have taken the time and the effort to think about what the other person would like and then find or make it for him or her, showing that you can go that extra mile, if needed.

And *I* think tool-using women are hot!   

We *are* a tool using species, after all.....!    

[Griffin NoName]

Hang on here - interesting discussion and all that, but did no one else see the women were ALSO sending up THEMSELVES ?


?