GRRRRRRRRR

[Zan]

Um?



Something you wonder about?

No, no, carry on.

[Jayna]

Thanks for all the support, you guys. It means a lot. I've been so stressed out, but the good news is that the refinance is moving forward and the house appraisal came back at almost $115k lower than it appraised for last time, which means there is essentially no equity worth fighting over. First time ever that this recession did me any good...

Anyway, yes, this is not about men vs. women. There are plenty of men I know who have also had terrible marriages to selfish people, and many of the most supportive people in my life right now are my male friends, including Zan.

Funny story, I forwarded the whole appraisal to my ex, and he sent me back this snarky email asking where I "managed to find this free appraisal". Huh? I emailed him back, asking how on earth he came to the conclusion it was free? It's part of the refinance package and it cost me $500! Nobody would do a detailed appraisal like that for free, WTF...

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Sorry you have to deal with an idiot even if it is by email. Hopefully things will get better with the refinancing. 

[Opsa]

Just ignore Mr. Snarky. He's history.

I'm glad to hear the refi is happening.

[Darlica]

Good to hear things move forward, His Royal Snarkyness is history and you are moving on.

I'm In another corner of the world rooting for you!

[Griffin NoName]

Glad things are heading in the right direction.

[Bluenose]

Jayna, you can always come here when things get a bit rough for you.  We accept people for who they are and you are good people.  Hope it all goes well with the refinancing,  I know from first hand experience (I've been through a divorce too...) that as bad as it seems at the moment things do get better with time.  Sure, I still have issues when I have to deal with my ex (usually about the kids, fortunateluy now grown up) but it becomes better in time.  I know it does not seem like it now, and I recall that people telling me similar things when I was in the thick of it didn't seem to help much at the time (what would they know?), but in the end they were proved right.  Keep on keeping on and don't let it get you down.  And don't forget we're here for you.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

He really doesn't sound like he's thinking very clearly. And I'm glad you're soon to be shot of him.

[Aggie]

Damned good news on the low appraisal (strange for that to be the case); since I assume you're planning to keep the house for a while, it may eventually make the hassle of refinancing worthwhile.

[Jayna]

Thank you for all the support. Sadly he is intent on pressing the issue even though the equity is now less than my investment from my pre-marriage assets, and I am seeing my lawyer on Monday. I am not completely comfortable posting further about it or leaving my original posts here since I now understand some things I did not before, but I really do appreciate the kind words, thank you.

[pieces o nine]

Jayna, one of my life-long friends initiated what became a hideous divorce about a year ago. He wound up with a new car, a new house at the upper end in this area,*all* his initial down payment on that house and *all* the equity -- both payed into 50/50 -- as well as most of the goodies (many of which he seems to have chosen for pure spite).

It was awful, and she went through a roller-coaster while negotiating the legalities and financials, let alone normal emotional adjustments. However, she is well to be rid of him and does not regret it one bit. Good thoughts for you -- I hope you lose as little as possible in your break; it can be difficult (if not impossible) to recover entirely from the economic low-blows in such situations. But you will surely be better off without him in your future.  Best wishes!

[Griffin NoName]

Good luck Jayna.