Toadfish Monastery

I didn't expect much and I thank the mighty Gods for that for it was much worse then I can describe.

I don't mean offense to anyone stating the following.

There were "rituals" in a church where the layout pretty much resembled the christian ones (altar in the front of the assembly) as opposed to a circle...

and people seemed to be there for confort and sense of belongin more than anything else... which still reminded me of the catholic church way...

very few vendors with not so interesting merchandising at all...

I guess this has been my first and last pagan pride day... 

NOw I do not like to put everyone in the same buket... but ya know what? TN drivers CANNOT drive!

Just today I was coming back from house hunting and I was on the interstate (2 lanes  ) ... at a junction a minivan merges right nex to me....

I am going a little faster then he is... and what does he do? Cuts right infront of me with no signal... I'd say a good 5 feet away from my hood...

Good for him I was going just 55 mph...

Pissed to no end (I had my little one in the car)... I overtook and I was side by side with him... I gave him a piece of my mind...

this episode is only the last (and not the worst) of a series that has been goign on for the past week...

Is these people's intention to try to get us killed? because if so... well they're doing a damned fine job!

personally I would send them all to get a driving boot camp in the fine jungles of SoCal... they either get killed or learn... either way the rest of us will be safer 

I feel so overwhelmed by the follwing, i wanted to share it with all of you... for your future reference and to check if my views are completely out of this world...

I am a single mom of a beautiful 4 years old little girl. Her father is the reason why we are here in the US althought he has never paid anychild support (long story short, for many reasons, he can't).

We were invited to move where we live now to be close to him and his "fiancee" and we did last february.

They told me we could stay with them for a little contribution for the bills.

Well, turns out they didn't quite make it till the end of the month without much more then just a little help and I didn't mind because she had shown her self to be a lovely person who loved my daughter just like her own and was working hard to survive.

When I finally (took for ever) got a decent paying job in my field, I told her I would pay her full rent ($716/mo) for a couple fo months so that she could get caught up on her financial swamp...

that was back in June (at that point, my contributions towards any expenses they couldn't afford was up to $1500 in 4 months)

Now my decent paying job is ending (contract) and I will probably have at least 2 weeks of cash flow interruption...

My little girl has been going to a very crappy childcare (they just sit her infront of TV all day.. teachers talking on their cells all the time etc.) and I have been wanting to move her to a Montessori school for the longest time... but Montessori schools have very long waiting lists...

it just happened that a couple of weeks ago I called one of these school in the area where I am planning to move... and they had a spot available...

Outrageous fees to register my daguhter, but i said to myself... what the heck do I work for???

well apparently I work to send my ex husband and his fiancee on a sci-fi convenction in Atalnta,GA because when i told her that I wasn't available to give any money this month, she went ballistic and she demanded that I give it to her...

she had the face to tell me in an email:


"Your car is important, <My daughter's name> education is important, and so is your commitment to me.  I will do anything I can to help you & Caity, but you know that can't be financially - I don't have it to give. 

(...)

I'm sorry you don't believe the money is for bills; you are welcome to write a check directly to the apartment complex or any of the other bill collectors if you don't believe you can trust me.  <Sci-fi convention> costs are minimal because of the area I work in takes care of the huge expense of food.  Someone from <resturant name> is going & helping with the room & gas.  My budget is very small - less than half of yours.  It doesn't take much to throw it out of whack.   Believe what you will but the small amount it will take for this trip is stretching my limits, but I have obligations there & must go.  Will I have fun?  Probably for a couple of hours & I won't apologize for that.  I have worked my tail off this past year & deserve a couple of days.  You do too & I will do what I can to give them to you in Sept (I have a couple of weekends off from BN & planned on taking at least 1 off from SF so can take <my daughter's name>the whole weekend).

I love you both and want everything to work out for all of us.  I can take Caity in o school tomorrow if you want."

and consequently, I have lost the spot in the Montessori school for my daughter...

now I know there are big sad stories out there that deserve much more attention...

I just wanted to share it because...as a single mom, I feel betrayed: she really had me fooled because I needed a friend so bad...

but maybe I am wrong...

Now being so new to the Old Religion, please forgive me if what you are about to read is trivial or naive...

I have found myself of late in a swamped situation of which I am putting all my energy in to get out...

The primary need I have off course is a job that i know won't be a temp one... so i turned to the Anicient gods for help and guidance...

The first time I have performed this spell I faced east. I burned a white candle for the Goddess and a red one for the God. I had a white candle representing myself and a copy of my resume. My favorite pen (a gift for my Bachelor's) and cedar incense along with citrine stone and clear quartz, the gold necklace with a fire topaz pendant I always wear.

After a weeks of first performing this ritual, I got the job I am in right now... which is exactly what I wanted to do with the pay rate i need only it's a temp position.

That was almost 3 months ago... my contract is about to expire and I am desperately looking to get a perm position...

I have performed my career spell every week almost for the past 2 months and nothing is happening ( chances come to me but they don't finalize)...

I have also changed the career spell facing North now and using a gold candle along with the while candle...and no cpy of the resume...

I know, as I write this the first thing that comes to my head is to go back to the original ritual and perform it just the way i did the first time...

But does anyone has any suggestion on the matter? I can really use some help 

Thanks...Stelli

ps: my apologies for any mispelling...spellchek is not working right now

Hello everyone,
I was referred to this site by a good friend and estimated collegue of mine, Morf.

I find the idea of having a place where discuss idea and opinions without prejudice and in a civilized manner very refreshing.

I am from Rome, Italy so I grew up in Catholic enviroment. Thrughout my life I have felt the call for the ancient ways very strong in me but it wasn't until recently that I have finally let myself go down that path... and now I am learning and listening

M.