Cap'n Cronin's Ship Trip - Portsmouth's Own Reality TV Show

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Big Ron

Oi as changed me name ter Little Reg.

Now will yer stay off me show?

Yours

Big Little Reg

[Bluenose]

Dear Reg,

You will always be BIG Reg to me and my girls.

Madame Fifi

[Black Bart]

Dear Fifi

How much extra will I ave ta pay to get the girls ta call ME Big Barty?

Yours

Black 'I wish I hadn't a seen me First Mate Barbados Ben in the showers' Bart.

[Bluenose]

Dearest Barty,

As one of our best customers, we would be happy to provide you with the service of calling you "Big Barty" free of charge.

However, if you would like the service to be provided with a strait face, there will be an additional charge of 10 Dubloons per visit.

Yours as always,

Madam Fifi

[DaveL]

Dear Bart,

Try one of my finest pork sausages in the cod piece region. How do you think I got my name?

Regards,

Big Ron

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Madam Fifi

Extra ordinary ter get yer letter jest wen Oi wer finkin of sergestin a tye in wiv our advertisin. Oi wer finkin if we ad wun or too o yer girls aboaward it wuld be good fer bof o us. We be sortin owt ther advert wot is goin in ther Aaaaaaaargus an culd offer ye a menchiun.

Yours

Bigger Ron Reg

[Black Bart]

Yo man we be jammin...if me can get me away from that Blackheart Man, Bart, wid his Macca Back Fish Stew and all that, will you have this raggamuffin on the boonooonoonous Cronan Show?

Yours Barbados Ben

ps Can me bring me ganja?

[Griffin NoName]

We now as a full compliment.

Ther ship will sail shortlee wiv ther followin berths:

DaveL
Big Ron
Ken Liversausage
Black Bart
Barbados Ben
Missy Melissa
Lola Spanks (curtesy of Madam Fifi)
Little Miss Fifi (curtesy of Madam Fifi)
Big Brenda
Sister Mercy (at a bit o a loose end since sadly bein let go by St. Winifreds)

That be 5 fer the boys team, an 5 fer the girls team.

Ther be one berth left fer each team; if these not be filled by ther rise of the seventh sun the ship will set sail as is.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Oi be votin fer Black Spot and Calico Jack, but E.Raser would be a fine addition as well.

[Griffin NoName]

Black Spot an Calico Jack be welcum. Oi ad the impressiun them wuldnt be seen dead on ther trip.

Oi just got wind o a late arrival. Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD has boarded an be refusin to take the lower bunk beneath Big Brenda.

[The Black Spot]

Arrr...

I'd come along if I be allowed to heave people I's don't like over the side. Should make it a short programme.

Failin' that, I be nominatin' the Dark Avenger.

[Griffin NoName]

Aaaaaaar! We needs moore wimin. Ere be the Dark Avenger checking out er berth just after boardin.



http://us.imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1336/Mptv/1336/5634_0054.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Rigg,%20Diana

[DaveL]

YArrr...

O'im 'fraid the Dark Avenger has a few other..erm..issues regaring insertion of summit unpleasant in a certain bodily region.

Oi won't mention where, but Oi thinks ee moight have a few problems sittin' down on the ship.

[Black Bart]

That wont be a problem for 'The Dark Avenger' NEVER SLEEPS!

He might be a bit jumpy when he hears the sound o peg legs on the deck though!

[Griffin NoName]

The ship has set sail. You have but a short time to settle in before Big Bovver gives ye yer first tasks. Make the most of it !