Portsmouth Pirate Public School

[Bluenose]

Me hedd and  pastirier bo'um arse is feeling a li'il woozy at moment, suh. Do we gots a clinicke?

Welcomme to Stillmaster Dokter Bluenose's clinick.  Now lemme see.  Ooh!  Nasty!  Have a pint o' this 'ere Captain's Delight Special Reserve (Medissinal).  Good fer wo ales yer...

[Bruder Cuzzen]

Dare prinzpull Culilnanenee ,

Wun ove ye fithy, smelly, liddle stoodints be waddling abowt towne half neckid tryin to sell wadermilin blud fer tuppince  a sip !

Well oi tried sum in exchange fer wun ove me lapel buttins .
I WUZ ROBBED I TELLS YE !
There be nay Cappins Deloight in thee mix !

Thee wee wanker waddered thee stuff down ta boot !

T'is commendable wot ye staff be doon , kep up thee goode werk !

Yers, Cappin Thoreau Lee Blinded

[Opsa]

Well persunilly, Oi troid th wawermelin blud and found it to be quoite refreshen. But then anythins refreshin after a pint o Captain's Delight Special Reserve (Medissinal). Cor, evin a bukit o sand wud be refreshin after that.

[DaveL]

Dare prinzpull Culilnanenee ,

Wun ove ye fithy, smelly, liddle stoodints be waddling abowt towne half neckid tryin to sell wadermilin blud fer tuppince  a sip !

Well oi tried sum in exchange fer wun ove me lapel buttins .
I WUZ ROBBED I TELLS YE !
There be nay Cappins Deloight in thee mix !

Thee wee wanker waddered thee stuff down ta boot !

T'is commendable wot ye staff be doon , kep up thee goode werk !

Yers, Cappin Thoreau Lee Blinded

Dear TLB,

I am guffawing with delight most disturbed by these turn of these personally endorsed actvities events. I will contact commend my students call the police immediately.

Yours sincerely,

Bill Cullinane

[Bruder Cuzzen]

Ahoy Princepal Cullaninny !

Oi heers thet wee blighter nefyoo of yeers be threetnin offerin up a koncirt .
Oi sorely 'ope ye be sooplying hearmuffs!

Yers , Cappin Deefer Dan  O' Doornail .

[DaveL]

Dear Capn Deffer,

Nefyoo is launching his new career at Big Ron's 'Windy Corner Stadium' this weekend. As part of his management team, I'd like to extend our invitation to you and the entire Portmouth dock to attend the launch of his debut album entitled 'The New Prince of Pirate Pop'.

Nefyoo is still getting singin' lessons busy in preparation, so no autographs unless you give me 100 dubloon or visits unless ye be one of Fifi's girls.

Come and join us for a concert, that will blow your mind without using a pistol to do it.

Kind Regards,

Principal Bill Cullinane
PPPS Entertainment Enterprises (PPPSEE)

[Griffin NoName]

Dear P. Culliwotsit

Yer continuwell diversifikshiun be confusin' me boy wot be in the lower sixf. Oi be rekwestin' 'e be remooved from all classsez 'cept Radin'.

Yers
Capn. Treadmill-Barstool

[DaveL]

Dear Capn. Treadmill-Barstool,

Your boy is a prime candidate for expoloitation a fine young man and we only have his money making potential best interests at heart.

We will continure to stand watch over him, even if he is no longer in full time attendance. However, we will continue to dis respect your wishes regarding this matter.

Should you wish to reconsider accept a bribe of 100 dubloon, we would love your boy to return as that little blaggard's making me and Still Master Bluenose a mint, running moonshine .

Regards and apologies for any misunderstanding, but he is already an established grog runner.

Principal Cullinane

[Bluenose]

Deer Prinserpal Cullinninnainne,

I woz gunna speek ter ye in person, but when Oi went ter yer orrifice Oi noticed sertain sounds emennatin from wivvin wot made me fink it notte be hoppertune, so I 'ave writtent this 'ere note.

I woz happroached by young Treadmill-Barstool and 'e hinformed me of a matter o' sum delikasy.  Happarently 'is old man be 'avin a go at the yung feller about sum o' the hactivities 'e been hinvolved in at PPPS.  In particular happarently 'iz ole man seems a mite suspicious abowt the sly grog runnin'  Now the yung feller too 'iz kredit sez that 'e reckons such loike be an hintegral parte o lernin piracy and that he will redouble 'iz hefforts in that regard, but 'e wuld loike us ter hassure 'ix ole man that we withdraw the little tyke from all hextra kurrikuler curicler duties.  Littel treadmill-Barstool hassured me that the praktisse o' foolin 'is ole man will only sharpen 'is grog runnin skills.

Oi rekomend we we assist the yung feller and to that ende Oi 'ave taken the libertee o' harrangin an hextra delivery for 'im on Thurday nites.  Oi trust yer goode self kin make happropriate assurances tor Capn Treadmill-Barstool.

Oi 'ope this meets wiv yer happroval.

Stillmaster Bluenose

[DaveL]

Dear Still Master Bluenose,

Apologies regarding my unavailability, yes I was waylaid busy with Mistress Chantal Accountant Simmonds, checking the half yearly ledger. The groaning sounds were related to the horse whip dire financial circumstances caused by disrupted grog deliveries.

That little blaggard is the best grog runner since Nefyoo Blackbeard, went all wussy and started singin' diversified his talents.

I would encourage any efforts possible in keepin his old man 'none-the-wiser'. O'id be givin' T-B Junior an increase in bread and treacle rations, if he keeps his old man at bay and makin the Thursday night drop off.

Regards,

Bill Cullinane

[Griffin NoName]

Dear P. Culliwotsit

Me sun be cummin 'home in a roight state h'every day but on Fersady noits 'e not h'only be h'extra nakkered but 'e be all disshovel disshuvelled h'as well wiv 'is trowsers alf ways down h'is nevver reegiuns h'an 'is shert 'angin owt. Me woife be beggin' me ter wivdraw 'im from skkooll 'an giv 'er the munney h'insted. Oi be sikk 'o the arguments 'an h'ask ye ter h'advise me.

Yers
Capn. Treadmill-Barstool

[Bluenose]

Dear Treddy-B,

Prinserpal Culletc 'as arxed me ter reply on account o' he beein busy with doin the rumpty tumpty taxes wiv Mistress Chantel the accountant.  Oi wish ter assure ye that the reason yer sun be so nakkered at the end o the day be because he be the skool's champion sly grog cross country runner.  In fact he be in trainin fer the hinter skool sly grog and carousin sports competition.  Oi beleeve hin fact that 'e be a good chance fer the National Team.  On Thursdays 'e as 'hextra practissse and a 15 km run, so Oi am shoore ye kin unnerstand that moight leave the little bugga champ ab bit messed up lookin'.  Hope this hexplains evveryfing.

Stillmast Sportsmaster Bluenose

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Spot Master B

If'n ye culd pass on this brown envelope to the National Team directer Oi'd be great ful.

Yers
Capn Treadmill-Barstool

[DaveL]

Dear Still Master Blue Nose,

I have been informed that you are in receipt of a brown envelope, which shall be henceforth forwarded to our vice coffers young athletes development program.

As you are aware, little athletics is not strictly offered as a part of the Portsmouth Pirate Public School Currik Curriq Curriculum.

At this stage, I suggest the money be stored in yours and my pockets a talent development holding fund, so a knees-up and card night with Fifi and friends scholarship, can be offered to a student of suitable promise.

I look forward to the shindig establishment and naming of the scholarship. We shall workshop the details when we sober up at this months general meeting.

Kind Regards,

Principal Cullinane

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Spot Master B

Pleez wuld ye return the brown h'enveloppe Oi sent ye yesterday. It were the wrong wun. Oi 'opes ye aven't h'opened h'it as it be persunal.

Yers
Capn Treadmill-Barstool