Hello! Is it me you're looking for?

[Roland Deschain]

Hi. I'm Roland Deschain. You may remember me from such books as The Gunslinger, and The Wolves of the Calla. I'd like to say hello to all and sundry here, and introduce myself properly:-

I've been an atheist for many years now, possibly most of my life. I found my lord the FSM a few years ago, and have worshipped him with my piratical ways and by eating The Holy Meal with gusto since then, not to mention all the extra grog i've consumed in His name, but I recently felt myself drawn towards The Toadfish too. I hope to slowly make myself known among you all, and to become a respected member here, as I like to think of myself in certain other places.

So I finish my magnum opus with a little ditty for you:-

Oh Contusus
Oh Contusus
Contusus richei
I see you in the water
With mud betwixt your eyes

You are so toadlike
You're just like my friend Mike
Whose surname is hamiltoni

[Opsa]

Ah, your lovely poem has touched me so that tears are  mingling with the mud between my eyes. (Or was it the mud between my ears? I forget, now.)

Welcome, Roland. Please make yourself at home, here!

[Darlica]

Hi Roland and welcome!

Watch out for the squidlings, they are generally nice little critters that said you better leave them alone unless you are into interesting suction marks...   

[Roland Deschain]

Thanks for the welcomes. It will take me a while to wade through everything, but i'll get to replying to as many threads as possible eventually, although not necessarily in any semblance of order.

Don't worry about the squidlings. As a lover of the FSM, and a follower of the cult of Cthulhu, i'm more than used to their tentacled ways.

[pieces o nine]

ROLAND!     

Welcome to the Monastery!

[Roland Deschain]

ROLAND!     

Welcome to the Monastery!

Errr, do I know you?

Sorry, but I couldn't resist that one. Feel free to punish as you see fit, lol. Thanks for the welcome. I'm off to bed now (it's gone 2am), but i've managed to delve in a little. Read you soon.

[pieces o nine]

^  Ha!

Siblings, watch this "Roland" person very  carefully...

Not only is he a Pastafarian, *and* a pyrate, *and* a prolific poster,  I've recently heard rumors that he has molested bronze statues in Bratislavia,  and is therefore exactly  the type of rogue upon whose tab we may put all our drinks in the pseudo pub.

[Griffin NoName]

Welcome Roland. Don't get lost down the labyrinthine corridors.

[Sibling DavidH]

Good to see you here, Roland!  The only hazards you've not been warned about so far are:

1  Not falling in the moat.
2  Me.  But you know about me from TOP (The Other Place).

[Swatopluk]

And the art section has become a place to go insane since I overran it. Also, once I get more fluent, you risk regular doses of Cthulhuism in Icelandic in addition to the English, German, French and Latin samples already present.

[Bluenose]

Greetings and salutations from the land downunder. 

Watch out, we are famous for topic drift.

Oh, and have a Captain's Delight XO on the house!

[Aggie]

Hullo Roland! Welcome aboard!

[Roland Deschain]

And the art section has become a place to go insane since I overran it. Also, once I get more fluent, you risk regular doses of Cthulhuism in Icelandic in addition to the English, German, French and Latin samples already present.

Oh, R'lyeh? Thanks, but I only accept Cthulhuism in the original language. I do this in memory of Pth'thya-l'ya, who is now in Y'ha-nthlei. Always remember:-

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn (In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming)

Greetings and salutations from the land downunder.  

Watch out, we are famous for topic drift.

Oh, and have a Captain's Delight XO on the house!

Hi and thanks. There must be a lot of men at work in the land downunder. I also thought that Australia was famous for continental drift? I'm used to topic drift, and I have also experienced it whilst reading a few threads here, so no need to worry. Err, is a "Captain's Delight" something...special?

Hi Griffin. Thanks for the welcome. I won't get lost, although I now know what you mean by labyrinthine, having browsed a little, although i'm not sure where this moat is that David tells me of (Hi David!) *sidles towards PoN* I mean, I don't want to go down there, obviously, but it appears not to exist *sidles closer towards PoN* I'm sorry David, but this moat you talk about? *begins to sidle up beside PoN* Where the hell is iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit? *splash* Damn hidden moat. *drip* *climb* I bet PoN stood next to it on purpose? *drip* *climb* Just you wait until I get back up this wall! *drip* *climb* I'm sick and tired of PoN treating me like this, I really am. *drip* *climb* Now where was I? *stands dripping on PoN's new shoes*

I think I better warn you. I like bad jokes, and have a different sense of humour (see Lionel Richie reference in thread title), sometimes going off on tangential paths.

EDIT: Hi Aggie. Thanks for the welcome!

[Aggie]

I think I better warn you. I like bad jokes, and have a different sense of humour (see Lionel Richie reference in thread title), sometimes going off on tangential paths.

Oh, you mean you're a Toadfish?  

Thread drift is quite normal here - blame the tides. A love of bad puns and a questionable sense of humour is an asset.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Welcome! Always glad to see a new face 'round these parts!

[Sibling DavidH]

Scrib, you don't know what his face looks like.

[Roland Deschain]

Scrib, you don't know what his face looks like.

Says the guy who looks like Catweazel...

Hi Scrib, thanks for the welcome. Ignore David. He knows not what a mirror is.

Aggie, my sense of humour is very questionable.

[Opsa]

Hey, we're bottomfeeders (but you can only call us that now that you're among us). Ya can't get much lower than that. But we've got a heart of silt.

[Griffin NoName]

Roland, if you follow the squidlings they will lead you to the moat.

[Bluenose]

Roland, if you follow the squidlings they will lead you to the moat.

That's what they said to their last victims visitors...

[Aggie]

Yes, and they are still in the moat, no?

[Opsa]

Well, the squidlings are. 

[Roland Deschain]

I've just come from the moat (blame the evil PoN for that one), and there were an awful lot of what looked like bones down there...

[Griffin NoName]

Were they old bones? We have a room in the Monastery specially for making old bones.

[pieces o nine]

Dear siblings, I have already humbly warned you not to take seriously anything this "Roland" person says...   

[Bluenose]

Well, Po9, that admonition could be applied to most of what the siblings say. 

[Opsa]

...and besides, we never seem to listen, anyway. 

[Bluenose]

..Sorry?  Did somebody say something?   

[Sibling DavidH]

No.

[Opsa]

*Whew!*

[Roland Deschain]

It's ok, PoN. I know when i'm beaten, so I shall most gracefully accept defeat and accept the consequences of my words.

I've still won, though...

[Bruder Cuzzen]

Roland!

Someone check the drawbridge ! Someone must have forgotten the portico something left open anyway .

I kidding ye perfessor !

I recognize ye!

( psst . This guy. He looks like Squint West Timber ).

[GeleboffMoume]

Hello. And Bye.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Stranger, still...

[Opsa]

Many pardons, we're still rooting out all those tedious posts. Thought we'd gotten that one.

[Griffin NoName]

I've left one or two of the hello bye posts. Harmless.

[Opsa]

You are a sweet, forgiving soul.