My epitaph

[anthrobabe]

I've always found epitaphs interesting...

it is the "final" word after all.

Often I've made them up for myself
they range from sublime- to stuid and silly


we should make up epitaphs




I'll start

"gotcha!"


one from the past:
From Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone AZ-- Mr. Moore worked for Wells Fargo at the Naco, AZ station

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les, No more

[Swatopluk]

A classic:

Here lies doctor XYZ.
His patients fill the next rows.

[The Meromorph]

I expected this.
But just not yet!

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

"...Wait, what?"

[Griffin NoName]

Your call cannot be taken. Seriously.

[The Meromorph]

Rest in peace, good soldier,
your duty bravely done,
We do not count your life well lost,
but your honor as well won.

[Swatopluk]

(S)He went content when the time was due

Rest at last!

Land holder at last

You're next!

[goat starer]

not quite an epitath (although i would love it on my grave) from the guardian...

I have gone swimming in the sea
polish my shoes whilst i am gone
if i do not return tell everyone i was a good person

[beagle]

Out of it.

or

Not sleeping, merely dead.


Of the real ones my favourite is the one John Gay (writer of the Beggar's Opera) and buried in Westminster Abbey wrote for himself.

"Life is a jest, and all things show it;  I thought so once, and now I know it."

[ivor]

"This was not the life I ordered..."

[Bluenose]

Spike Milligan's epitaph:

I told you I was ill

[Sibling Lambicus the Toluous]

One from my high school chemistry teacher:

Poor little Johnny is dead and gone
You will see him no more
For what he thought was H₂O
Was H₂SO₄



And the inscription of the 8th-Century monk and scholar the Venerable Bede:

HAC SUNT IN FOSSA
BEDAE VENERABILIS OSSA

... or "the bones of the venerable Bede lie in this grave*"


Wikipedia claims that this normal translation of the inscription is wrong, and that it should actually be "the venerable bones of Bede" instead of "the bones of the venerable Bede".  Anyone here know enough Latin to confim/deny this?


*or literally "trench", according to Gould.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Swato is your guy on that one.
-----
They say its better to try and fail... and now I'm here.

[Swatopluk]

venerabilis is either 1st or 2nd case singular. If it were the venerable bones, it would have to be venerabilia (1st case plural neutral).
and fossa indeed means trench. Sepulchrum would not rhyme with ossa, though
---

So, this is the promised land?

[Sibling Lambicus the Toluous]

Thanks, Swato.




______________


if you want to mess with people after you're dead:

I'm not really in here.
I'm standing right behind you.

[anthrobabe]

to really mess with people

Help! It's dark, I'm cold and wet. Does anyone have a shovel.

or

Hey could someone turn up the A/C- it's really getting hot all of the sudden.


yes I am 

[Opsa]

Would you mind not standing on my chest? It's hard enough to breathe as it is.

[beagle]

"later, dude"

[Swatopluk]

The Doctor is IN
(for academic corpses)
Insert stake 2'3'' from headstone
How dare you walking over me?

[anthrobabe]

The money for the pizza is under the flowers.

[Swatopluk]

Could you leave a bit of fresh brain? Too lazy to hunt today.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

"Shit! She's dead!"

Or

"Awww, Sad Face."

[Griffin NoName]

In my next life, I'm coming back as YOU !!

[anthrobabe]

to really mess with someone

pizza delivery- pre arranged
real money under some flowers

"Then money is under the _____ flowers, leave the pie and have a nice day"

of course that would only work once....

[Sibling Lambicus the Toluous]

of course that would only work once....

Not if there was a still-living person to help out.

I like this as an epitaph:

It seemed like a good idea at the time

[anthrobabe]

I just realized that I posted about the pizza twice- ok so I have pizza on the brain(moral of the story- the original one- when one finds themselves in a farmhouse with a lot of dead brain eaters and is obviously the last one left alive--- HIDE! because the rescuers will be along to shoot you shortly!)

and about the it seemd like a good idea

you know that all good redneck/southern stories begin with

"Hey! Y'all watch this."

so that would be a good one as well.

[goat starer]

my goodness. was that it it? i expected something more spectacular

[Sibling Chatty]

I told 'em to bury me face down
So y'all just go ahead and kiss the ground.
My ass is down here somewhere...

And I want the Mr. Green, too.

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

Somehow, I can see you doing that.


"Kilroy was here!"

[Aphos]

I told 'em to bury me face down
So y'all just go ahead and kiss the ground.
My ass is down here somewhere...

And I want the Mr. Green, too.

What do you mean, "Don't touch..."?

[anthrobabe]

LAST POST

[Pachyderm]

Stranger tread
This ground with gravity.
Dentist Brown
Is filling his last cavity.

Edinburgh, Scotland

On John Yeast:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me
For not rising.

Ruidoso, New Mexico


Sacred to the memory of
Major James Brush
Royal Artillery, who was killed
by the accidental discharge of
a pistol by his orderly, 14th April 1831.

Well done, good and faithful servant.



In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.

[pieces o nine]

(Albany, New York)

Harry Edsel Smith
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.

[Pachyderm]

A nice black granite monolith, the HOT symbol in the corner, with the words:

Here lie the mortal remains of

Andrew Taylor
(insert dates)

Toadfish. Elephant. Pirate


The confusion would be priceless to watch.

OR (just thought of it)

The Sibling Below Me

is testing Intelligent Design

[anthrobabe]

OH! Ok, I get it now.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

The Sibling Below Me

is testing Intelligent Design

That gives a completely new meaning to TSBM thread!