Contrasting forms of government

[Pachyderm]

Bovine Definitions of Forms of Government

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your feudal superior takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The Government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

Bureaucratic socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you need.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

American democracy: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the President is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair Cowgate.

British democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, and buy a bull.

Hong Kong capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to a publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debit/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cow's milk back to the listed company, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.

Feminism: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

Environmentalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

[Bluenose]

Australian Democracy You have two cows, you sell them to some bloke you met down at the pub and buy beer.

[anthrobabe]

Beanstalk Economy: Trade the 2 cows for beans, plant beans, wind up with goose that lays inedible eggs.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Latinamerican *Democracy*: The rebels forcefully take one cow and one of your children as a combatant, the government taxes you on the amount of the other cow, the army forcefully enlists your other child as a soldier, and the paramilitary groups chase you off your land.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

India  You have two cows.  They wander freely in your village with all the other cows, completely undisturbed.  Meanwhile you subsist on beans and rice.

[Sibling Chatty]

Feminism is neither a government or an economy. It is the uppity notion that women are people, too.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Feminism is neither a government or an economy. It is the uppity notion that women are people, too.

Personally, I think it's about time y'all admitted that, too...  

[Swatopluk]

There are some feminists around though that think of men as certain influential theologians (like that #!?§$% St.Thomas Aquinas) think of women*. Some even want reciprocal suppression of men for the time that women were in the past**. We need a united hermaphroditic front against the extremists of both sides!

* i.e. walking genetic defects
**think of them as the Falwells/Phelpses/etc. of the feminist movement

[Darlica]

 

There are some feminists around though that think of men as certain influential theologians (like that #!?§$% St.Thomas Aquinas) think of women*. Some even want reciprocal suppression of men for the time that women were in the past**. We need a united hermaphroditic front against the extremists of both sides!

* i.e. walking genetic defects
**think of them as the Falwells/Phelpses/etc. of the feminist movement

I have had the *ahem* pleasure of meeting a few anarca feminists in my days...

I usually call myself a feminist, but these gals almost made me reconsider that. I didn't knew if I was going to laugh or cry when I heard their arguments...


And just to clarify; feminism is not a man hating religion, it's a (political party less) political movement that strives for equality between men and women.

   
 

[pieces o nine]

pieces used the words "matrifocal" and "matrilineal" in a thoughtful, reasoned response to a question about monotheism during her first class at seminary.* Brought the room to an awed silence, she did.

pieces received notification that the classsroom was changed before the next session. New room was festooned with a gigantic, in-your-face! Holy Land poster bearing the blazing, scroll-tastic header,
" L A N D  O F  T H E  P A T R I A R C H S " 



* she escaped in time and retains the title "The Irrev"...

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

pieces used the words "matrifocal" and "matrilineal" in a thoughtful, reasoned response to a question about monotheism during her first class at seminary.* Brought the room to an awed silence, she did.

pieces received notification that the classsroom was changed before the next session. New room was festooned with a gigantic, in-your-face! Holy Land poster bearing the blazing, scroll-tastic header,
" L A N D  O F  T H E  P A T R I A R C H S " 



* she escaped in time and retains the title "The Irrev"...

Once heard a very interesting sermon.

The gist of it was that in the Bible (both Hebrew and Christian) there are any number of analogs to explain a bit of the nature of god.  The person delivering said sermon, searched for, and counted the various ones that were masculine and the ones that were feminine, ignoring the gender-neutral ones.

It turns out there were _more_ feminine allegories describing god than there were masculine ones.....

Made me go, "hmmm" at the time.

[Sibling Chatty]

Hmmm, two of us that escaped that fate, Po'9

Good thing, especially since my 'language' has gotten a bit 'salty'.