Toadfish Monastery

On The Beach => Home improvement => Topic started by: Griffin NoName on January 03, 2008, 01:48:52 AM

Title: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Griffin NoName on January 03, 2008, 01:48:52 AM
Looking for a manufacturer for the new range of Griffin Sleep Armour.

(http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e284/Griffinit/woman_sleep_suit.gif)

Model 1 A. Part 314.

This product has been designed to protect the hip bone during sleep.

Sleep on your side?  Wake up in agony?  Look no further.

Details: 

Tasteful blue safety-foam side-balancing support with optional red safety-foam insert (state size when ordering).

The product includes a shaped hole (see mauve in picture) to suspend your hip comfortably in a soft aeriated surround (state size when ordering) while the blue safety-foam side-balancing support takes your weight.

For women: choose our Pandora version.

For men: choose our Cyclops version.

Are you a tosser ?   Buy Two !!! 

Also available (not shown) : Stomach Armour for front sleepers. Model 3 G. Part 361 (men only). Essentially identical to Model 1 A. Part 314, this is wider and worn to the front to provide your stomach with a soft aeriated surround. Women please order Model 3 F. Part 362. This has two additional feminine soft aeriated surrounds.

Also available on Aaaaaaaaaaargghbay !!!   

Patent & Manufacturer pending.


Note: Purchasers may require the Griffin Mounting Block (http://toadfishmonastery.com/forum/index.php?topic=848.30).
Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Darlica on January 03, 2008, 11:58:48 AM
My first thought when I saw the picture: What an odd kind of bondage... :P


What have you been up to now dear Griffin? ;)
Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Sibling Chatty on January 04, 2008, 04:51:56 AM
Now you know why I have an assortment of 9 to 14 pillows in 5 different sizes and shapes that I build into a sort of sleep nest.

The best one for hip pain relief has been the one between the knees/thighs, which takes the angled pressure off the hip that's on the bed and distributes it throughout the entire thigh/leg.

No, I don't travel a lot, but when I do, I have at least my knee pillow, my neck pillow, my "squishy" pillow (balancing act, sorta, for whatever hurts at the moment) and my 'baby pillow' usable where needed, plus I must have at least 2 other pillows available.

I want an air mattress. The best sleep ever--air mattress. Put it on an adjustable (hospital) bed? Heaven. I had one in ICU after my last surgery...I would have killed to keep it! Either one (adjustable or air) is good, but together?? AMAZING!
Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Griffin NoName on January 04, 2008, 08:31:53 AM
Yes I thought this would speak to you Chatty.

I get fed up with carting pillows for same purpose so the designs.

I believe if you were to buy two sides and a stomach armour, you could find yourself able to roll around and surprise people, especially that stuck up michelin man.

Air mattress are great - tried one last summer - they don't need to be deep, just well made and efficient.

Can't get the phrase Floating on Air out of mind.
Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Sibling Chatty on January 05, 2008, 02:58:18 AM
I'm currently looking at air mattresses to put on top of my very good bed.

I'll be needing either a ramp or a pole vaulting pit. Maybe a ladder.
Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Griffin NoName on January 05, 2008, 05:13:12 AM

Honestly, I'm sure the future lies in memory foam with cut out holes for the painful jutting out bits.

The difficulty is to lay still enough for those bits to stay dangling through the holes.

:ROFL:
Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Sibling Chatty on January 08, 2008, 10:18:03 PM
I confuse memory foam.

Depending on the state of my sinuses and the general attitude of my back, my favored sleeping position can change radically. I spent 3 years sleeping face down. FACE down, not to the side, with a pillow under my abdomen and another under my forehead. (Then they took a huge flattened out tumor off my abdomen and spent months wondering why it was so flattened out...) Oh, and then I couldn't sleep face down anymore.

Currently, I sleep right side or on my back, unless my right hip is funked up, and then it's on the left, but with a pillow pushing my hips almost flat.

My skeletal system, as it collapses, is getting picky about sleep positions.

Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Griffin NoName on January 09, 2008, 12:40:28 AM
Sounds like you need the Swiss Cheese Griffin Sleep Armour Chatty.

What I fail to understand is why I wake up suspended in air balanced painfully on one jutting out hip. In day to day life my hip bone does not exactly jut out from amongst the surrounding material (ok lets call it fat) and it would certainly never occur to me to try and stay balanced on it.

I know I have several serious severe sleep conditions but this one has me extra puzzled.
Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: anthrobabe on January 09, 2008, 01:21:02 PM
I awoke this morning with a severe pain in my lower back---
it really should not surprise me at all- as I was in my daughters bed (very firm mattress) propped up on about 4 pillows- sort of laying on my right side but sitting up on the pillows

smarty pants me went to sleep watching a movie with her last night and slept that way until morning.

anyone seen my walker.

Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Sibling Chatty on January 09, 2008, 05:37:21 PM
Griffin, you may have a congenital situation known as "needzaInnertubitis", a poor descriptor for the actual problem.

The actual item needed is an air-filled 18 inch (or thereabouts) ring "toy"similar to http://tinyurl.com/2tyfkw (but without the disturbing 'mascot head'.) Sleeping on this prevents the hip from bearing the majority of the pressures of the sleeping body.

See also "o-ring" cushions.
Title: Re: Griffin Sleep Armour
Post by: Griffin NoName on January 09, 2008, 07:35:21 PM
Must have the mascot head !! 

I had an o-ring somewhere - the sort you sit on - which I sat on when pregnant. I cannot remember why.

I think I'll just grow some more hip covering material. mmmmmm loadsa chocolate.