The Shopping Channel

[Griffin NoName]

I've taken to leaving the TV on with the sound off to keep me company in the long nights of wakefulness while lying around. It quite often seems to be on the Shopping Channel. I know, this is sad.

I do not comprehend. There are people pushing floor cleaners around hour after hour. I find this disturbing.

What is worse, I just caught out of the side of my eye, a steam cleaner with a cloth attached underneath which the lady whipped off after cleaning up some pink stuff and she then put the cloth in the washing machine.

The disturbing thing is, I found myself thinking, what a good idea.

I really think there is no hope for me.

[pieces o nine]

"Hope is the dream of a soul awake."

Or at least, of a soul half-drawsing with the telly on...   

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

I've taken to leaving the TV on with the sound off to keep me company in the long nights of wakefulness while lying around. It quite often seems to be on the Shopping Channel. I know, this is sad.

I do not comprehend. There are people pushing floor cleaners around hour after hour. I find this disturbing.

What is worse, I just caught out of the side of my eye, a steam cleaner with a cloth attached underneath which the lady whipped off after cleaning up some pink stuff and she then put the cloth in the washing machine.

The disturbing thing is, I found myself thinking, what a good idea.

I really think there is no hope for me.

That you are still self-aware enough to realize the situation you found yourself in?

Proves that there is more than just hope-- that you are still a thinking human.   What more can one ask of one's self than that?  To continue to think, and evaluate what you experience.

By the way?

I'm kinda in agreement-- a steam cleaner with a washable cover is kinda geeky-cool...

[Sibling DavidH]

As Bob says, you are aware of where you are.  Also, you can still smile wryly about your situation; I think that's an important light at the end of the tunnel.
Being in a similar condition myself, I find thinking of the grandchildren helps me through.
Hang on in there.

[beagle]

Being in a similar condition myself, I find thinking of the grandchildren helps me through.

Of course the grandchildren are thinking "Won't it be great to be older so I can stay up late and don't have to go to school" and their parents are thinking "Won't it be great to be retired and get some rest from work"

Probably best to turn on the Shopping Channel and try not to think about it.

[Griffin NoName]

Of course the grandchildren are thinking "Won't it be great to be older so I can stay up late and don't have to go to school"

....or.... "Won't it be great to be older so I can stay up late and watch the Shopping Channel like Grandma".

[Lindorm]

Back in my early days at the university, when I still lived with my mother, I did watch some very strange daytime (and nighttime) TV shows -including the Swedish equivalent of the shopping channel.

Imagine my unbridled joy when I found out that the Salad Shooter ^TM featured in Bloom County was not just a product of the fevered imagination of a cartoonist, but actually an existing object. I almost ordered one just for the hell of it, but reason and my paltry student grant finally got the better of me.

But yes, the shopping channel does raise quite a few existential questions. Where do they find all these "celebrity hosts" that you have never heard of? What happened to the miraculous detergent and stain remover DiDi Seven, that could remove old rust from your car tyre bolts but yet was gentle enough for you to wash your wine-stained curtains with it. And how did you get those wine stains on the curtains, by the way? Orgies in Suburbia?

Not to mention the "genuine, proven" subliminal anti-smoking CD:s that featured a husky female voice saying something like "mmm...cigarettes" in her best bedroom voice, only to be followed by a terrible shrieking noise, theoretically conditioning you away from smoking.

And is there really a Vitamin Institute of Switzerland, filled with busty young females and gray-templed gentlemen in white coats, dedicating their lives to finding the best possible shampoo, just for you? And why do they look exactly like the staff of that other Swiss institute that I can't remember the name of, the one that's dedicated to finding the best laundry detergent for your washing machine?

Questions raised by tantalizing glimpses into another dimension, but I suspect that the answers will never be forthcoming. J G Ballard was a social realist! 

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

...
Imagine my unbridled joy when I found out that the Salad Shooter ^TM featured in Bloom County was not just a product of the fevered imagination of a cartoonist, but actually an existing object. I almost ordered one just for the hell of it, but reason and my paltry student grant finally got the better of me.
...

It's not too late...

http://www.amazon.com/Presto-02910-Saladshooter-Slicer-2f-Shredder/dp/B000VD5POW/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1269446235&sr=8-4





Alas..... DiDi 7 is listed as "currently unavailable"

http://www.amazon.com/didi-seven-universal-stain-remover/dp/B0009OPKNO

Never saw the "subliminal" anti-smoking CD, though...

[Griffin NoName]

Drat, the hospital TV didn't get the Shopping Channel

[pieces o nine]

My first thought was:  What? They missed an opportunity to separate you from more cash?

My second thought was:  Well, of course not! If you're frivolously buying salad shooters and such, that's cash-flow being lost to health care coffers!

[Griffin NoName]

My first thought was:  What? They missed an opportunity to separate you from more cash?

Actually the Hospital supplied their own very smart carrier bags. I found one hanging in my wardrobe but didn't realise what it was until I saw another patient running around with one.

[pieces o nine]

Back story: The floor-waxers waxed a bit too enthusiastic at the venue where my brother & SIL's wedding dance was held. Several people slipped; my mom fell and broke both wrists.


Relevance of reminiscence: Due to the casting, she required a caretaker around at all times. I stayed with her for one week; a favorite prank was to turn on the Home Shopping Network with the remote  just   out of reach (*had* she been able to operate it), then leave the room for a few moments....

Of course, now she would enjoy watching it, so there you go.