Toadfish Monastery

OFSTED SCARED OFF!
Going deep undercover reporter Ima Sneekiwun reports, in an exclusive for the Portsmouth Aaarrrrggghhhus, on the goings on between Portsmouth's soon to be opened elite school the Portsmouth Pirate Public School (PPPS) and the Piracy Council for Higher Heducation Inspectorate's crack inspection squad OFSTED (Old Fearsome Seagoing Terrors Educate Dekids)

Sources say that OFSTED had threatened to close down PPPS because of alleged irregularities in the proposed operation of the school and also because of alleged underage drinking on the premises.  A spokesperson for the school a Cap'n Bluenose said "Yarr, it all be lies.  We don't be makin any o that alkayhollick stuffe in the school, we jess be teachin the little bastids tackers ow ter make a fine health tonic accordin to an ole family recipes wot Oi appen to have on 'and."

Principal Cullinane denied all suggestions that the school's Masters were preparing to repell the OFSTED inspectors were false "We've actually prepared quite a warm welcome for them" he said.  Our undercover reported told us that this seemed to be the case as the Distillery Master had in fact prepared quite a number of bottle of tonic as a present for the inspecting team.

Furthermore we can report that the girls of the neighbouring well respected school St Winifred's had been planing to "join the party" as one of the senior girls put it.

It appears that when the OFSTED officers approached the school, they mistakenly thought that the pirates were getting ready for a pitched battle whereas we can report that it was simply preparations being made to welcome the team.  This newspaper is of the opinion that OFSTED are a bunch of lily-livered, power hungry oafs and that they deserve to be exposed as such.

OFSTED were approached for a comment but our enquiry was met with a "shove off ye blaggard" by the person who answered the phone.

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BUSTLIN BRIAN GONE AWOL

Colourful Portsmouth identity Bustlin Brian is being sought by the Portsmouth Piratical Constabulary to answer a number of charges of fraud, misrepresentation and criminal identity theft.  Constable Abe Igplodd said "We are searchin for this person, what it is alleged has made off with a large amount of treasure he allegedly acquired by various deeds of fraudulently misrepresenting goods he was selling on Arrgh-Bay and though mail order business he was operating through a phony address what turned out to be a disused sewerage works.  Anyone what can help with our enquiries should contact me at Constabulary Headquarters.

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I debated whether to put this in the Science forum, but in the end I feel that the interesting question is a moral one, so I have put this here.

Those who have read the books of science fiction author David Brin will be familiar with the term uplift, but for those who have not, it is a term David Brin uses in a number of his novel to describe a process whereby a sentient species (ie humans - well most of the time, anyway) raises a pre-sentient species to full sapience.  this might be done through direct genetic engineering and selective breeding or whatever.

Now I am not trying to debate the technical issues of how this may be done.  For the purpose of this discussion, I would like to suggest that let us take it for granted that at some time in the future we will be in a position to 'raise' another species to full sentience.  Obvious candidates would be chimpanzees and bonobos and perhaps dolphins and gorillas.  other species might also be possible.

Anyway, the interesting question for me is this - should we do it?  Do we in fact, if we have the capability, have an obligation to do it?  I wonder whether in some distant future time we might not be judged by just how much we could have done, but did not, for our fellow denizens of this lovely planet.

Sibling Bluenose

You have will be marooned on a desert island for a year with ample shelter, food and water, a CD player (with excellent speakers, amp etc) a fully autonomous powersupply with sufficent capacity to last the full year, but you can only take three CDs with you.  Double CDs count as one, but compilations are not allowed.

Which one's do you take?

I'll kick it off with my choices:

1. Pink Floyd - Wish Your Were Here

2. Eva Cassidy - Songbird

3. Jean Michel Jarre - Oxygene

Sibling Bluenose

Ahoy there all modden pirates!

Iffen ye be 'avin trubble wiv yer Portholes XP or yer Great Cabin Suite, call our 'elpful, 'ighly traned and respeckful tecknishuns oo are eeger to 'elp ye owt.

I can't see the applaud/smite buttons any more.  Is there a problem, or have they been removed? Or is there something wrong with my browser?

BTW, I was going to applaud Bob the Unbeliever for showing me the Brightness.

Bluenose

Hi guys,

Thought it might be fun to share some recipes.  No limits on what you put up, it can be an old family favourite, a recipe you made up yourself, whatever - the only criteria is that it must be delicious!

I will kick it off with one I made up when I was staying with a friend of mine who lives in the Australian Alps. 

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High Country Lamb Shanks

Serves 4

Ingredients

4 Lamb Shanks
1 large Onion
4 medium potatoes peeled & cut into 2-3 cm (1 inch) cubes
2 large carrots, peeled and cut into thick diagonal slices.
3-4 cloves of Garlic
1 400g can Borlotti Beans, drained (400g is about 8 oz)
1 400g can Chick Peas, drained
2 400g cans of diced tomatoes
1 serve concentrated beef stock, or 1 crumbled stock cube
½ cup water
1 sprig each Rosemary & Thyme

Method

Slice the onion and brown in a large Dutch oven (or ovenproof casserole with a lid).  Reserve onion when browned.  Brown lamb shanks.  Crush the garlic with the flat of a large knife, peel and toss into pot.  Add remaining ingredients, including reserved onion.  Stir ingredients roughly together.  Bake at 180ºC (350ºF)for 2 hours.  Serve with broccoli or green beans.

I have just made a decision that every time I visit here I am going to give some one a positive stroke, for no other reason than to make them feel better.

It seems to me that as a humble toadfish that is the least I can do.

Nick