Vertical Challenge

[Griffin NoName]

I got my new bed that I've been rambling on about.

I got a fabulous storage bed base, lots of drawer space, and I chose a fantastically super comfy mattress. So far so good.

Now I've got the two together, one on top of the other, I found out it's way up sky high. Like climb into bed has taken on a whole new meaning.



an artist's impression - not the actual bed !!!

Anyone got any clever ideas for tasteful ramps? 

[The Meromorph]

A nice (matching?) box beside the bed about 12" square?

A 'Trampette' ?  http://www.eurogym.dk/index.php?id=187

We had the same problem. We took away the bed frame (not an option with a footboard  )

Saw holes in the floor to put the bed legs in? 

Footsy jammies with high heels? 

A strategically placed trapeze?

Human Growth Hormone injections?

Practice the Fosbury Flop manouevre?




I'll stop now. 

[Aggie]

Bed frame?  I am not familiar with this item......

_{( all the bed frame money went into making the mattress ridiculously large, but I have two boxsprings )}


On a more serious note, perhaps some staging (a plywood box carpeted to match the room) beside the bed to provide a nice large step-up platform?

[ivor]

A jet pack perhaps?

[youtube=425,350]gvM8Cp7wnXQ[/youtube]

[anthrobabe]

footsie jammies with heels 

many bedding stores sell small sets of stairs to go with these high beds. I'd look online also.

My best friend and husband use a milk crate- not recommended as it hurts the feet and will eventually break-- but for a few days might work(put a piece of carpet or a throw rug on it to protect feet)- also not really stable.

I don't have a bed frame myself- I have a futon on the floor.

[Griffin NoName]

Think I'll go with the jet pack. Superb.

(the artistic impression was misleading, it's not framed like that, the frame is internal and the drawers form the entire base, so not removable).

Actually it's "theoretically" an interesting problem (well, mistake to have made). My mother (80) cannot even get up one step, even a low one, and literally wouldn't be able to get into my bed (may be a good thing LOL). I am forward planning !!

The story in the family is Great Great Grandma Sarah took to her bed at 50 and never got up again - perhaps she had this same problem.

[Sibling Chatty]

I can improvise a ramp out of anything. This might work, depending on your level of book overstocking.

To build a ramp for the step up into Mom's house 25 years ago--so that her grand piano on the pianoboard/dolly could be brought in, I took 3 cases of textbooks and 4 bags of paperback books and built a gradually sloping ramp that I covered in extraneous cardboard to smooth in out. You might try the same with extra books and a slab of MDF.

Ramp AND book storage all at once!!

For stability's sake, my friend's husband built a series of platforms, the largest one 4 feet long, 24 inches wide and 2.5 inches deep, the next 3 feet long, 22 inches wide (same depth) and the third 2 feet long 20 inches wide (same depth). Stacked, they provide a gradual step-up system that's stable, and they CAN be turned over and nested to be put out of the way. He's also improvising a ramp to be used in the event that lifting her foot to step up becomes a problem...something to attach to the top 'box' and be supported my the other two.

I'd go with the jet pack, too.

[Griffin NoName]

I've been searching for my ideal ramp......

Do not click this iif you are underage; naughty stuff.

[beagle]

Weird. As if sex wasn't complicated enough already without some idiot building a ruddy assault course between you and the object of your affections.

And somebody should tell them you're supposed to take your clothes off.

[Griffin NoName]

Complicated? I was disappointed by the limitations. None of them are suitable for my needs.

I've discovered modular ramp tiles - unattractive but exciting none the less. I'm drawing up some designs for a jolly idea I've had which I shall be patenting as "Woolly Ramps".

[beagle]

Complicated? I was disappointed by the limitations. None of them are suitable for my needs.

I never understood that bit about having to put a condom on a banana before you started; but all the sex education classes emphasised how important it was.

[Sibling Chatty]

Think about the inconvenience of having fruit flies buzzing about at the most intimate times. The condom retains all fruit flies, silly.

There's a logical answer for everything, if only you stop to think about it.

[Aggie]

I am having more than a few 'don't post that' moments in this thread.   

[beagle]

I'm sort of hoping Griffin is going to post a picture of the finished course.

Wonder how many suitors will have to set out to ensure at least one makes it through the minefield of amour.

[The Meromorph]

Twelve million twice a night and four times on weekends?
(Oops, musta bin a don't-post-that moment that slipped through  )

[Griffin NoName]

I've put in a lot more research today on this project.

More or less cracked the overall plan for the (initial) ramp (idea).



Have to work out how long the ramp bit is up to the start of the jumping off platform

Then I have to email all the rug people to ask how thick their rugs are for the woolly additions.

I was so excited I've extended my plans to a total woolly ramp round all sides; to be called the Woolly Ramp Bed Collar. This will include three sided ramping to a long platform at the foot of the bed for resting before approaching the bed volting ramp and an optional additional side ramp. I've even found some cheap rugs which will add to the trompe l'oeil look:



I don't know why you all are having issues with this - it must be a very common problem

[ivor]

For some strange reason the first time I saw your units of measure I was seeing "cubits."  I think it's a sign.

[Griffin NoName]

A sign of athleticism?

[ivor]

Are you making your ramps from gopher wood?

[Griffin NoName]

No. I thought it best not to bring religion into it.

Polyethylene (resistant to all approved household cleaning solutions and corrosion, fully recyclable and 100% environmentally friendly, furthermore the raw material and colour pigments are approved for foodstuffs and do not contain any toxic compounds).

Also, although I think I am supposed to avoid temperatures as high as 300 degrees, I have been assured the fumes are still non-toxic.

I am especially pleased that the ramps will be approved foodstuff. Should help me when marketing the Woolly Ramp range - especially given some people's predelictions in the bedroom.

[ivor]

Yes, you'll have to protect yourself from people suing you after they turn to pillars of salt.

[Griffin NoName]

Yes, you'll have to protect yourself from people suing you after they turn to pillars of salt.

Good way to get a lifetime free supply of salt perhaps.

I am making verticle progress. I have ordered some ramp tiles.

I am also simultaneously working on another verticle issue. I am now so high above my bedside table - upon which sits my much loved reading lamp - that the light don't shine

Searching for a cheap solution (probably the old clip on light I have stashed away somewhere from the 1970's when they first became fashionable - never ever throw anything away) I came across this neat (and seriously expensive) Double Fibre Optic Bedhead Kit solution.   (but note no dimming in USA, dim enough already?)

[ivor]

There's probably a camera hidden inside. 

[Griffin NoName]

LOL and her only a wee girl too......

My ramp should arrive tomorrow. Very exciting.

However I am having trouble sourcing the woolly bits. They all come in the wong sizes. I may have to start knitting.

[Griffin NoName]

The Woolly Ramp is in place and works perfectly. A stunningly successful design.

However, the Woollyness is temporary for testing purposes only and I am still having trouble sourcing the required solution.



Marketing Campaign !

[Sibling Chatty]

Carpet tiles.

http://www.completelyflooring.co.uk/index.php/cPath/108
http://www.carpettile.co.uk/  links to http://www.carpet-time.co.uk/accessories/flooring/tackifier.php

Ooooh, fancy CUSTOM ones!!
http://www.tesseracarpettiles.com/

Wholesale, for mass production Wooly Ramps.
http://www.carpettilewholesale.co.uk/

[Griffin NoName]

HeHe. I tried googling flokati carpet tile and got flashytrash.com - site for sale !

[Sibling Chatty]

A marketing niche to be exploited!!

[Griffin NoName]

 

Some of you may be pleased to hear the Woolly Ramp is now fully functional, the perfect woollyness having been found and applied.

I can now approach my bed with delight and a gentle climb. 

I have decided to abandon the original plans for the foot of the bed am searching for a better solution.

I am tempted by one of these delightful bulls but, apart from the expense, am fearful of what might happen in the dark.

EDIT

            width 25 cm
    ________________
   /                              / |  depth 23 cm
  /                              /  |  height 15 cm
  ----------------------    |
  |                              | / 
  ----------------------/

Not much of a drawing. I want a {box} this size. Can be hollow or solid. Immaterial. Width could be slightly more.

Could be wooden but doesn't matter much as long as it is reasonably strong.

The puzzle is to find a word that describes it.  {could be a woolly bull stool with its legs cut off}

The closest I can get is phrases like: foot rest, bath step. But they are all quite a bit bigger than this.

  First prize to anyone coming up with a useful phrase to put into google. 

[Sibling Chatty]

Ask these guys if they have one around the proper size...

http://www.vegiman.co.uk/bushel-boxes/

Look on e-bay for toy boxes? Storage boxes?

http://home-garden.listings.ebay.co.uk/_Storage_Wood-Storage-Boxes_W0QQa56Z2233QQa6Z68030QQalistZa56Q2ca6QQcoactionZcompareQQcopagenumZ1QQfbfmtZ1QQpfidZ3646QQrcZ1QQrctrackZ3646QQsabfmtsZ2QQsacatZ43502QQsascsZ2QQsocmdZListingItemList

These are cool...

http://house-garden-for-sale.vivastreet.co.uk/home-gardem/antique-wooden-chests-storage-chest

[Griffin NoName]

Thanks Sib.Chatty - I wonder what I'll get by googling "chest"?

Looking at the antiques, I have worked out what I need is a magnum of champagne in a wooden presentation box - those boxes are the perfect size - I'll ask my son for one for xmas  

I'm still searching. It's much easier to find a better variety on US sites than UK ones for just about anything that is a little obscure. Another irritation is the number of what look like perfect boxes but no dimensions. I get cross when I have to resort to the old fashioned method of phoning up to ask

[Griffin NoName]

 
    


The final solution you have all been so eagerly awaiting:

The LED light:
Introducing the tasteful "clip stabiliser" - stunningly gets around the clip not fitting the bedstead !!



The Woolly Ramp:
The change in height is disguised so well even your best friend will not know it is a ramp at all !!



The Mounting Block:
Woolly Ramp unsuitable?  Try our amazing Mounting Block for size !!

[Sibling Chatty]

Brilliant!

Comfortable and convenient. Just the way things should be!