The unlikely headline game

[Opsa]

Sucralose-infested.

So, okay- if it is a Satan sandwich, we have to assume Satan is in the sandwich. So, what's the bread?

[Aggie]

Pumpernickel, of course.

at least according to one folk etymology I once heard

[Opsa]

Dang, I love pumpernickel. I would eat that Satan sandwich, if only it didn't have Satan in it, or the sweetener. Could I just have mine with Swiss cheese and brown mustard?

[pieces o nine]

This is Amurka, Opsa.

Demand New!  Satan Lite™ Sandwich -- accept no substitutes!


Also ask your grocer for new Satan Low Sodium™, Satan Fat-Free™, and Satan Whole-Grain with Enriched Calcium™.

[Swatopluk]

Ferry Runs Aground After Captain Stuck In Toilet.
http://news.yahoo.com/ferry-runs-aground-captain-stuck-toilet-152430429.html

[Opsa]

So that's why we haven't seen DaveL until yesterday!

[anthrobabe]

Ha you tickled me with that one Opsa.

[Swatopluk]

Charges filed against Pope for driving without seat belt during visit to Germany
(not a joke)
No, he was not speeding or driving himself. It was his usual trip with his papamobil at walking speed.

[Aggie]

And then the Lord said: 'Rapist, atheist, same thing'

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2011/12/01/and-then-the-lord-said-rapist-atheist-same-thing/

This must be pretty disconcerting for atheists. There they are walking along the street, not hurting anything but not believing in God, and every time they pass a church they can feel people looking out the stained-glass window and thinking, "There goes another rapist."

[Swatopluk]

Santorum surges from behind in Iowa

Actual headline of something considered rather unlikely until extremly recently.
Also (unintentionally?) funny given the other (NSFW) meaning of 'santorum'

[Sibling DavidH]

[Aggie]

Also (unintentionally?) funny given the other (NSFW) meaning of 'santorum'

I hadn't heard of that definition until now... one of my friends used to describe a similar substance (only saliva rather than lube-based) as kose.  I don't know why...

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

With santorum you at least aren't as cheap to avoid paying for lubricant...

[Swatopluk]

India: more cell phones than toilets
The 2011 census in India came up with the result that there is a cell phone in 53.2%* of all households but only 46.9% of households include a toilet.

Edit: In total numbers: 208 million cellphones, 155 million toilets

*in a different source it says 63%, one is likely a typo.

[Swatopluk]

Sex-Deprived Fruit Flies Turn to Alcohol
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/03/120315145415.htm