The unlikely headline game

[Lindorm]

There's a completely true and authentic headline from Sweden that has become something of a minor classic:

Woman Escaped From Group Sex -Committed Vehicular Homicide on Badger
Sometimes also featuring the sub-headline "Now being charged with traffic violation".


The story behind the headline is quite entertaining is a sort of social trainwreck way: A woman in Kronoberg province (actually quite close to our summer house) was invited by a few friends to a big midsummer party at a remote farmstead. She didn't know the host, but since a few mutual friends were also going to be there, she happily accepted.

The party went as traditional Swedish midsummer parties usually go, and people got quite drunk. Except for the woman, who insists that she only drank a low-alchohol beer or two at most, and then kept to Coke for the rest of the evening. At some point, the host of the party suddenly and loudly declared that they were all now going to strip naked and engage in hearty group sex. Upon hearing this, the woman panicked and fled the farm in her car.

Unfortunately, the car happened to strike a badger, who was promptly killed, but not before dispatching the woman's car and herself into a nearby convenient ditch. The woman was taken in an ambulance to a local hospital, where routine blood tests revealed that she had a blood alchohol level of almost 0.2% -way above the drunk driving limits of Sweden. The woman, however, insisted that she had not drunk that much, and her Coke must have been spiked -further proof of the debauched nature of her hosts at the party. She blamed the badger-slaughter on faulty steering in her car, but a technical investigation of the vehicle failed to find any evidence of such a fault.

The woman also declined to name the hosts of the party, despite her allegations of being drugged by them, for "reasons of privacy".

O tempora, o mores.

[Swatopluk]

Czech mayor catches monkey by going ape
A macaca that had escaped from the zoo months ago and avoided recapture was caught at last when the city mayor distracted it by playing ape/monkey.

[Swatopluk]

Therapist who cured King George's stutter indirectly responsible for Fox News

http://uggabugga.blogspot.com/2011/02/about-speech-therapist-character-in.html

[Swatopluk]

From The State Journal

Police: Man had to be Freed From Own Home After 2 Years
Posted Monday, March 28, 2011 ; 12:50 PM
Updated Monday, March 28, 2011; 01:31 PM


Police said they found the man in deplorable conditions.

BELLAIRE, Ohio -- Police said a Bellaire man, Richard Hughes, 43, had to be removed from his home at 2898 Washington St. Sunday.

Police said the man's skin had become attached to the fabric of the chair after he sat in it for two years

Authorities said he was sitting in his own feces and urine.

Police were called in to help transfer Hughes to the hospital.

Authorities said they had to cut a hole in the wall to get the man out of his home.

A real couch potato taking root

[Griffin NoName]

From The State Journal

Police: Man had to be Freed From Own Home After 2 Years
Posted Monday, March 28, 2011 ; 12:50 PM
Updated Monday, March 28, 2011; 01:31 PM


Police said they found the man in deplorable conditions.

BELLAIRE, Ohio -- Police said a Bellaire man, Richard Hughes, 43, had to be removed from his home at 2898 Washington St. Sunday.

Police said the man's skin had become attached to the fabric of the chair after he sat in it for two years

Authorities said he was sitting in his own feces and urine.

Police were called in to help transfer Hughes to the hospital.

Authorities said they had to cut a hole in the wall to get the man out of his home.

A real couch potato taking root

How dd he get food and drink if he never moved?  (I could do with a few tips on this issue )

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

A conveyor belt from the door to his chair in front of the TV? Besides, the pizza guy wouldn't be willing to go in with the stench.

[Swatopluk]

Gay caveman's remains found
http://www.alternet.org/newsandviews/article/552567/%22gay%22_caveman_remains_found/

[Griffin NoName]

Hmm. Domestic jugs. Perhaps he was a chef.

[Swatopluk]

Fox Senior Judicial Analyst Napolitano: "There Are Parts Of The Constitution That Are Itself Unconstitutional"
http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201105110041
That guy is a former judge

[Swatopluk]

Rabbinical court condemns stray dog to stoning
Judges believed that dog was a reincarnated lawyer that insulted them 20 years ago
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-13819764

[Opsa]

That linky didn't link. I think the dog ate it.

[Swatopluk]

Thisi may be the reason
http://www.virtualjerusalem.com/news.php?Itemid=3920
What a pity

[Aggie]

Debt crisis: Republicans scent victory with 'sugar-coated Satan sandwich'

Even the Democratic leader in the House, Nancy Pelosi, who helped negotiate the compromise with Barack Obama and the Republican leaders at the weekend, had serious reservations. Pelosi, a Californian on the liberal wing of the party on many issues, picked up on Cleaver's food metaphor and expanded on it. The deal, she told ABC, was a "Satan sandwich with Satan fries on the side".

[Opsa]

I heard the first quote, and thought it was hilarious. The Pelosi one is confusing, though. I mean, what has she got against the French?



Personally, if I was going to eat a Satan sandwich, I'd put hot mustard on it.

Yep, and I'd wash it all down with a nice bottle of Old Nick.

But sugar? That's  up.

[Aggie]

Hey, sweet and salty has come out in the open and is all the rage these days....

_{instead of being the snack industry's dirty little secret}

From my point of view, if you want to emphasize teh eeevil, call it a sucralose-coated Satan sandwich.