Remember this?

[Black Bart]

"I'm here to answer piratey questions!, I have extensive knowledge about Piracy not only in the Caribbean, but the Barbary Pirates, Asian Pirates, and Fictional Pirates as well!"

A Quote from the long lost archives of Pirate Lore...now lets have some questions that do it justice...

[Griffin NoName]

Wot be the max nummer o peg legs per pirate?

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

http://www.venganza.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5876

That was one of the funniest threads O'ive ever had the pleasure of respondin' to.

If he wants a serious section to display his extensive knowledge, this be the place. Do you think he would come here?

[Sibling Chatty]

Oi wunner if he ever heald from the flayin' that Administrator give 'im? Right tough ol' bird...

[Bluenose]

Oi 'ad fergotten that thread, thanx Bart fer remindin us!

BTW, Chatty the position o' Auntie-at-Arms is still vacant on me ship, wuld ye be innerested?  Th' pay be lousy, but ye get all the hard tack ye can eat (me crewe won't touch it, except when needin ammunition fer boardin parties, even the weavels leave it alone, so there be plenty) plus if ye 'elp owt wiv me duties at PPPS ye get a case o' Captain's Delight a week fer ye efforts.  Wotdyer saye?

[Sibling Chatty]

Aye, Oi be needin' a good job, seein' as Oi been laid orf down ter the Courts fer impersonatin' a Judge. Oi had been workin there as th' matron fer the Ladies Jail. Oi'd be insulted, but they be proposin' me fer judge next appointment toime, as Oi not only cleared the docket, Oi had 'em scrubbed and painted as well!

That AllBertie Gonzales be a sneaky little sucker. Messin' wif the legal system loike that kin be dangerous! Oi'd not be amazed if ol' Mad King George promotes him fer it.

[Griffin NoName]

OI, Oi be askin a serius qwestiun an non o u can be bovverd ter answer. Ye jest blether on bowt summat istorical an even ther perl o wisdom wot start this topic be unable ter answer.

appen it be me wot nose most an ye all be stoopid.

[Black Bart]

Wot be the max nummer o peg legs per pirate?

Hang on give us a chance matey...ye knows how slow we be on the Quest!

Number o peg legs...duuuurrrr...if I looks down I can't see me legs fer belly so I'll ave to guess...er, shark bit one o em off, er is it somethin to do with that clonkin sound what keeps followin me around on the deck?

clonk, clonk, clonk, clonk, clonk...

Five?

[Griffin NoName]

That be more like it. Oi likes a pirate wot nose is stuff.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Our friend never came back after we tickled his ribs.
It was Black Spots knockin' shop comment that threw 'im. Well that and the schlacking Auntie gaves 'im.

Arrr, but he was also in big trubbles from meself and Auntie over 'is comments about a certain exclusive folk in Pennsylvania. Summit about 'em not payin'taxes and not cleanin up after their horses.

Oi thinks by the time he started that thread, we wuz ready to rumble wifs 'im.

Arrrghhh the good ole days!

[Bluenose]

Oi be agreein wiv ye Cap'n DaveL, thems were definitely the days, till that little self important stuck up poncy ....  (uurrrmmm, sorry Oi fergot we doan talk abowt it over here.)

Anyways, back ter peglegs, I doan see that there be any limit on th' emount o' peglegs per pirate.  Oi bin collectin 'em for years now and Oi reckon Oi got the best colleckshun this side o' Tortuga.  At last count Oi 'ad over three thousand - traditional whittled pine, stainless steel, novelty peglegs, roight up ter a set o me famous Mk4a (Mod 27, build 329, service pack 4) thermo-nuclear football peglegs from the Piratica FC World Cup campaign last year. Arrgh, them were a roight loverly set o' peglegs them were.

Cap'n Bluenose

[DaveL]

YArrr...

Speakin of legs, Oi can't say Oi've ever seen a girly pair of peglegs. Peglegs arn't exactly ooozing wif feminine charm now are they?

Ever heard a Pirate 'woof whistle'** a girl wif a wooden peg leg?

YArr!

** Aussie slang warning Woof Whistle = whistling at some hot babe walkin down the street.

[Aggie]

Oi dunno...  these are on the shapely side:



**Up here it's 'wolf whistle'.  But we have wolves...

[Griffin NoName]

wolf whistle here too

great legs

[DaveL]

YArrr...

We only have Tasmanian Wolfs and they're extinct. Oi may also haves been mislead wifs me spelling.

Those legs look hot BTW!

[Black Bart]

Four lovely legs...shame about the boat race!

[The Black Spot]

Arrrr...

there be one old postin' that sticks in me mind - Me an' Cap'n Beagle were discussin' a group of pensioners 'oo we had marooned on Canvey Island (long story). Beagle said they 'ad all turned savage an "it were like Lord of the Flies but in slow motion."

[Griffin NoName]

You left 'em there all this time?

[Black Bart]

Now look, if you fancy sendin an expedition to Canvey Island to see if they're allright that's up to you!

[Griffin NoName]

Aaaaar! Silver Sailin be all the rage.

[Bruder Cuzzen]

YARR MATEYS!!

Eyes never did git thee chance ta ask Taichi  about thee advantages of grappling portside versus starboard.

Wots yer opinion on dis?

[Black Bart]

Poor old Taichi...he got grappled by Auntie Dee Dee on both sides!

[anthrobabe]

I missed this originally--- I've snorted hot coffee down the wrong pipe now and am laughing my booty off

I "knew" it was on when Bart broke out the fishhead stew ... and then Auntie Dee Dee stepped up for the 

the rest of you did just fine also

truly a classic

[Bruder Cuzzen]

I couldn't stop laughing for days when I first saw it,I'm still laughing and only wish Auntie could have held off long enough for me to have a go.

[Bruder Cuzzen]

 Seeing this thread again has cracked up me so much I can't stop myself from reading it over and over. 

Must be five times by now.

I hope it is still appreciated 10,000 years into the future and on many worlds.

I hope the first AI that becomes aware laughs itself so silly that it shorts a circuit.

I 'm finding it hard to type because I'm having a bellyache.

I  picture people peeing themselves , spilling drinks into the keyboards,dropping cigarettes onto their laps ,blowing boogers out their nostrills,choking on food etc..
I must confess ,I went so far as to reply to it back there.
It was  sad to see the pirate forum so spare in life and in the great spirit that the Admiralty gave it.

I generally just go there to work on my crews and dig around for inspiration, I'm considering leaving the Queen to the back pages where it will most likely rot into oblivion .

While I was there I surfed around and learned a few things that I wish I had not.(day got me ire up, day did ).

Sorry I digress , I have just begun to send the Queen and co. on a quest and would appreciate any suggestions of how to end it there yet continue it here without offending or disappointing the few people who might actually look forward to it.

apologies for the earlier unintentional alliteration and overuse of smileys , I've just noticed them

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Don't despair BC, the pirate forum over there was just as jolly as the one here. There were lots of threads the gang laid down, which still kill me with laughter when I read them.  Since our raiding party, I think there is agreeance that the pirate sprit is the same on both forums, so why not post on both?

Noone else regularly posts there, or writes funny stuff apart from yourself - it's dead empty. 

While our home is definitely here, our raiding party has in a sense marked a return to the old site. The old forum was a great means of meeting new pirates, like your good self. It's unlikely we will grow in number if we don't interact with newbies back there.

The Pirates were never really into the egos, politics or agendas. Just writing funny stuff to give each other 'the giggles' was always the main thrust.

See yer both here and there matey!

Dave

[Bruder Cuzzen]

ARRR! Tis gudd to 'ave the crew back fer sum raiding!, I cant carry off much by meself , Tddles and Fritz be only innerestid in der rats ARRR!

[anthrobabe]

we need a nickname for our raids...


ummmmm could be simply   sail-bys

it is fun and it is what the pirate heart yearns for( well that booty)

[Bruder Cuzzen]

ARR!Ahoy Saucy Gert Ye's gots me vote..I be loiking sail-bys. I also am leaning towards a "pardy" doh... boarding , raiding, tea ,wine tasting , sail sewing ,anchor hoisting, flogging, rum guzzling, beer chugging ........

Yers Truly, Mad Willum Bonney

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Youse 'aves permishun to keep sailin-by. Be nice to the cabin boys. We be needin 'em to swell our ranks. Observe to rules-of-port and the harbour masters in-charge.

[Black Bart]

YYYYAAARRRRR Me Hearties I be savin toim by doin a Double Broadside...I has got two computers runnin...One with verganza on and one with the Toadfish Monastry!

AAARRGH...If only me Hook were more versatile I could actually type on both keyboards...loik a latter day Rick Wakeman!

[Griffin NoName]

Eh Bart lad, as ye erd o windows? it be expensif on ther macheenes ther way ye be doin it.

[Bluenose]

Yarr, don't be listenin ter 'im Bartie Boy.  Stick wiv Portholes Avarsta, it be the proppa Operatin System fer pirates.

R'gards,

R.U. Serious
Manager, Customer Relations
Scumsoft
Third green door on the right, behind the brickworks,
Portsmouth

[Black Bart]

Eh Bart lad, as ye erd o windows? it be expensif on ther macheenes ther way ye be doin it.

AAARRRRRR...It be the Irish blood in me veins (all Welsh people are a bit Irish!).  Now I comes ta think on it, I baint be needin two ships either...one fer sailin East and one fer sailin West!   

AAARRRR mind ye don't go cross eyed wiv all them windows open:

Window 1. Toadfish
Window2. Verganza (tis a pile o crap theses days)
Window3. AAARRRRRGH Bay
Window4. AAAARRRMAZON
Window5. Cronan proximity meter
Window6. Treasure Web Cam
Window7. Madame Fifi's Web Cam

Tis enough ta make me Eye Patch mist up!

[Griffin NoName]

Sounds like ye need a bigger monitor.

[Black Bart]

Talkin of chaps with big monitors...feast yer eyes on Capn Dart ere from Second Life...he be sportin the latest in Bling Eye patches!