Deep-fried Mars Bars...

[roystonoboogie]

...and other Scottish delicacies. Opsa asked me for my seafood-free paella recipe, so here it is.

A large onion
A red or green pepper
Some mushrooms (quantities and portion control are not my strong point - two handfuls will be fine)
An ounce or so of cashews or flaked almonds
A chicken breast
A couple of bacon rashers - you can use cooking chorizo if a) you can get it, and b) you like it
100g / 4oz of paella rice
Paella seasoning (when we go on holiday to Spain we buy it in bulk)
Smoked paprika
Garlic and chilli to taste - if you can get smoked garlic, use that

Use a large deep non-stick frying pan or a paella pan. You don't need a paella pan, but if you've got one the rice doesn't need to cook for so long. Yes I know that doesn't make sense, no I don't understand it either. Boil a kettle, dice the onion, the pepper, the mushrooms, the chicken and the bacon.

Heat the pan, add some groundnut or sunflower oil (too hot for olive oil IMHO), and fry the bacon or chorizo until it's nearly black. This gets a lot of interesting flavours into the pan and onto the other ingredients. Brown the chicken, add the onions, then the pepper, then the mushrooms. Add the nuts -  if you toast them in a dry frying pan first you get good flavour and texture from them.

Add the rice and some paella seasoning. I tend to do this by colour rather than quantity - once everything in the pan has that saffron tinge to it, you're done. Fry it for another 3-4 minutes, or until you get bored, which is what I usually do. Add boiling water, covering the mixture plus another centimetre. Turn the heat down until it is bubbling gently.

It is OK to let the middle of the paella burn a bit. It adds a bit of bite that real paella aficionados go for. Don't wreck the pan though. When the rice is cooked, whack some smoked paprika over the top and stir it up, including any burnt bits.

Serve with black pepper, chilli sauce of your choice, and a glass of Torres Viña Sol, as cold as you can get it.

[Opsa]

Thanks, Roy! I appreciate this.

Do you know how to make it without any meat at all? Or does that mean it's no longer Paella?

I have a happy memory of this great Chilean refugee who came to live at my Mom's house and was a chef (but drove a taxi). One day he came in with a whole paper grocery bag of little live sea creatures and poured them onto the kitchen table. We watched in amazement as they clacked around, especially since my Mom would never allowed us to put animals on the kitchen table! He made a wonderful paella from them.

[Aggie]

Seafood paella are common, so I think you're on the right track.  I remember having a squid-ink paella in the Phillipines that was jet-black.

[Opsa]

Ninja paella!


I just found a vegetarian paella, but I'll put it in vegetarian recipes.