Pieces For Pope!

[Pachyderm]

There may be other litmus test problems, aside from confused looks when the Papal nut-sack verification chair is utilised (and yes, I know that doesn't really happen, but the mental image of a Cardinal with his hands under the stool looking baffled, with Pieces sat there, grinning like a monkey, is too good to pass up...)

Namely:

Pope Urban VI was the last pope elected from outside the College of Cardinals. This was in 1378, and it's been a "jobs-for-the-boys" number since.

The last person elected as pope who was not already an ordained priest or monk was Pope Leo X in 1513.

Plus, although I am not sure, I think the candidate must be under 80 (Pieces OK), and over 56 (Pieces not OK)

It is also considered bad form to campaign for the Papacy. Having said that, it's generally considered bad form to molest kids as well, and there have been quite a few priests implicated in that sort of thing...

You might be better trying for the position of Anti-Pope.

[Swatopluk]

The age rule is relatively new. Iirc it got introduced by Paul VI. and the first election it applied to was that of John Paul I (who lasted just a month). It could be be lifted in time for the next.

[Swatopluk]

Can a post-op transsexual be elected priest/pope?

I do not know the answer but I know for sure that it has been offcially decided (I guess negatively).

[Opsa]

Pieces is an ordained monk. We ordained her here as a cyber-monk. She is fully qualified, aside from the air in her codpiece.

[Swatopluk]

Other faiths have older claims on monkhood than the newcomer called christianity

[Pachyderm]

Ordination isn't a problem, anyone can get ordained.I'm an ordained Minister. It's amazing what can happen on the Intarwebs at 3 in the morning when tiddly...

It's the other elements which will scupper the plan....

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

I'm now imagining the "well I didn't vote for you" scene from Holy Grail, only with the Pope and some democratically minded Catholics.

Anyway, I thought all Pieces had to do was get into the conclave, and be the first person to find the key. Once you decide who gets out and when, you've pretty much got it made, right?

[Griffin NoName]

She needs to check the emission of white smoke too.

Hi Q, nice to see you.

[Opsa]

I volunteer to dance around with a smudge stick, and if some of the white smoke happens to look like it's coming out of the Vatican chimney, well,what can be done?

Hi Q!!!!! 

[Sibling DavidH]

Sorry, Siblings, it is with deep sadness that I must make this announcement:  white smoke was emitted at about 19:10 local tonight.  While we do not yet know the identity of the new incumbent, insider information reports that it isn't Pieces.

[Griffin NoName]

? 19:10 - it's only 18:33 in London. Are you a Profit? If so, we need to get you a special robe. Or is it local to Rome rather than London? I do find life difficult  

[Sibling DavidH]

Rome local.  I think they call it CET, but I'm not sure.  BBC TV news interrupted a story to show the smoke from the vaticam at 18:10 GMT.

[Swatopluk]

And the election took 1d 1h 31min and 5 rounds

[Sibling DavidH]

Who fired the rounds?  Was anybody hurt?

[Opsa]

My theory is that Pieces actually is Pope, and that this Pope Francis guy is just a figurehead.