Independence Day (U.S.)

[Pachyderm]

Ah, there you are, Major. Take a letter, would you?

To Major General Howe, Commander-in-Chief, British Army in America. Ai have at my disposal my Regiment, Colonel Pachyderm's Regiment of Heavy Cavalry (you should see the size of the horses...). Ai was at school with your brother, and can assure you while Ai have no particular claim to military greatness as yet, Ai am suited to command by my breeding and personal fortune. See you in the Hudson.

Your affectionate brother-in-arms,

Col. Pachyderm


Excellent. Dispatch it forthwith Major, then take the chaps to the ships.

[goat starer]

Colonel Goat - on behalf of Major General Howe

Sir,

glad to have you aboard old chap. Elephants did it for Hannibal and I am sure they will flatten these dastardly traitors. Throw good tea in a harbour would they? I've never been so shocked in my life!

Long live the King!

No Representation for Fat Simpletons Regardless of a Taxation!

[beagle]

Pachyderms have a bit of a mixed track record don't they? Claudius scared the Brits successfully with them, but Hannibal couldn't work out what to do with his once they'd been ski-ing. You'd have thought that big "Circus Maximus" sign was a clue where to go next wouldn't you?

[Sibling Chatty]

Hmmm, an invasion by livestock, instigated by a small dog.

This could all be sorted out by a competent veterinarian.

The German mercenary, however...shall be deprived of all electronica!!

[Griffin NoName]

Hmmm, an invasion by livestock, instigated by a small dog.

And you can never be quite sure where you are with a mythical creature.

[Sibling Chatty]

Mythicals we can deal with. Remember, our current feerless leedur* is a "Compassionate Conservative" and they don't come more mythical than that...


_{*AKA, Duh Preznit, The Decider, or That Untreated Addict With the Delusions of Adequacy...}

[pieces o nine]

Hmmm, an invasion by livestock, instigated by a small dog.

This could all be sorted out by a competent veterinarian.

You must mean Cesar...

[Sibling Chatty]

BEAGLE!! We need a picture and a video of you. Pieces and I want to enter you in a contest...

[pieces o nine]

BEAGLE!! We need a picture and a video of you. Pieces and I want to enter you in a contest...

But is he *truly* a small, yappy-type dog?

[Sibling Chatty]

There's prize money. We'll get him to fake it...

[beagle]

BEAGLES ARE NOT SMALL.
AND WE DON'T HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

Now I have to invade somewhere again.

[Swatopluk]

Be quick or the Chinese rowing boat armada will be there before you.
(In a discussion on the SCOTUS 2nd amendement decision I read a few days ago, there was actually the claim that the 2nd A. is the only thing that has postponed yet a Chinese invasion* of the US by rowing boats).

*estimated strength 200-300 million

[goat starer]

how do you know there has not been one? the old lady up my road was convinced that the chinese were over here using their secret powers to 'divide' people. She said they had divided her and another one of her was in Glasgow. She was also convinced that they had divided her son and that one of him was being held against his will in the nursing home at the top of the road (pity the receptionist who recieved the daily visit demanding to see a non existent clone!).

Its just the type of thing those dastardly chinese would do.

When you got her in a room wth the sciitzophrenic old lady round the corner you would get a conversation about Hindus and the Chinese that would have made Oswald Mosely feel they were perhaps a little extreme.

and her cream cakes were always off

and she force fed me stewed celery as a child which i spooned into her crysanthamums when she was not looking... they died.

[pieces o nine]

Have you considered writing memoirs, goat?

And who should play you in the inevitable Hollywoodized movie?

[Griffin NoName]

When you got her in a room wth the sciitzophrenic old lady round the corner you would get a conversation about Hindus and the Chinese that would have made Oswald Mosely feel they were perhaps a little extreme.

But not perhaps his son.