Intelligent Science

[Griffin NoName]

Tomatoes
~~~~~~

Tomatoes turn from green to red when ready to pick.

This attracts the best tomato pickers, usually male but not necessarily, who mistake the tomato for the bonny red cheeks of their lasses.

[beagle]

Birds
------
Birds fall out of the sky when they kick the bucket. God designed it this way so that the sky is not full of bird carcasses blocking out the sunlight and stopping the plants from growing.


The Universe
------------------
The universe was designed much bigger than it need be.  This was to avoid the inevitable bloodbath of putting Everton and Millwall fans in a confined space.

[Pachyderm]

Continental Drift
--------------------

Continental drift was designed to bring hope to those, bland, unexciting parts of continents that someday, they too could be covered in tropical rainforest, beaches and have nubile native women, living alongside their handsome noble savage men.

[Aphos]

Time

----------------------

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

[goat starer]

champagne

------------------------------------

God endowed champagne with a strong outer shell to avoid its natural flatulence from causing explosive results. Less gassy wines have thinner shells to stop them dribbling everywhere. The idea that champagne evolved from wine is clearly disproved by the absence of intermediate stages in the Bottle Record.

[Griffin NoName]

Rats (see also Mice and other non-human animals)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rats have evolved to recognise food preparation and refuse areas so that their droppings alert people they are in the neighbourhood.

[Pachyderm]

Dolphins
----------

After only a few days in captivity, dolphins can teach humans to throw fish at them.

[Griffin NoName]

The plastic carrier bag
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A highly successful virus, in the UK it has infected virtually every retail outlet. The death rate of sea life infected is also exceptionally high.

[Griffin NoName]

Proof at last of Mother Earth.

This view of earth taken from outer space clearly shows the gestating baby.