YArrrr...
Wif all the kidnapping goin' on in these here parts, Oi thought it be only appropriate that we invent a few of our own.
Here be an awesome Ransom Note Generator for the busy kidnapper.
http://www.stevenolte.com/ransom-note.html
SenD YeR MOneY to MR DavEL, oR MaYOR KeIth GETS IT
200 cronan OR DaveL NEVer GeTS Ter weAr ThE pINK drESS AgIN
HaNd OVeR YEr TReAsUrE oR I'Ll inTrODuCe yE tO ERaZeR
I is senDing yE one eaR takEn From yeR nAVAL captAin give yE 200 crOninS or i wIll cuT Off is b........
HaND ovER YeR duBLoONs or Ye wILl Ne'r sEE YeR wIG aGIn.
(hurry up cos it stinks!)
HaNd oveR ThE BoOty asap oR YouR PARROtT Walks THe plaNK iNTo ShArk iNfested WAters.
Be pRePARed tO say goOdBYe TO Your FaNCy waIsTcoat, sHould ye FurtHer AbstAin FRoM swEaTING oUT The LiL yELLOW rOUND oNES.
YoU kNOw thE PArT OF the MaP tHat WaRnS, "HeRe tHErE BE mOnsteRs"- weLL YOU've REAChEd THat pArt OF tHe mAP. TurN bAcK NOW. NO furtHeR wARNinG WIll be GivEN.
Arrrrr Prominent Pirate I knows who ye be, hand over the cronans or I will spill the beans
OI KNOWS WHeRe YEr treASuRe Is bUrried, CouGh Up THe DuBLoONs, oR OI sellS The mAP...
OnE MilLion DuBlOOns OR ThE StILLmAsTer gets It
CrOnANs oR DuBloOns! IT maKes NO NEvermINds tEr mE!
FiLL mE 'oLDs wi' TrEAsURe, oR tHe BLoOdY BadGEr wILl Be aTHwARt yER bEAm!
OI KNoWs WHeRE YE hauLS OUt Ter De-BARnacLe An' suCH. KEepiN' the SEcRet WiLl cOST ye in non-SeQuEntAIl, Low-denoNiNAtion (weE numBERS, See) DubLOOnS....
HanD over yer FisHeaD STew recipE Or YEr eNtirE conSUmeR POpUlacE GEts it! (Even more than if they just eat the stuff, which might take some doing)