Swear Words

[Griffin NoName]

Do you have a hierarchy of good, bad, worse and worst swear words?  Do you take trouble and care to fit your swear words appropriately to the situation in hand? 

Let's get an adult debate here. Or are we all too childish to manage that ? 

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

I think that a really good collection of swear words is useful to vent one's spleen, and avoid ulcers or worse.

Therefore, there are a few, that I do not use regularly, so that I have a really good outlet-- just in case.

But, I do self-censure myself in public BB's like here and elsewhere.  It's a polite thing-- I use enough letters so that anyone familiar with the word in question knows exactly what I meant.  For example, sh** or f*** and the like.

But someone who is not familiar with the word is not offended (hopefully).

I almost voted "I never spell swear words..." but I don't particularly care if St Peter is watching, or what he may or may not think.  No, I never spell them because of "children in the room".  It's a polite thing I have to younger minds than my own.

On the other hand, if I can get the meaning across, and offend some self-appointed self-righteous "I'm forgiven" type-- all the better.  For, I find that these sorts never are confused by my deliberate "minimalist" style.

It's as if they secretly wish they could use the words themselves, and are envious.  <smirk>

Sometimes, I'm feeling especially creative, and I'm not really in a high emotional state, but I wish to add emphasis anyway--- then I like to resort to colorful euphemisms that mean exactly the same thing, but sound polite.

One of my favorite is a replacement for sh**, and is "horse exhaust".    I'm quite fond of the imagery it conjures up; reminiscent of the days gone by, when horses were ridden instead of cars.

[Aggie]

I use swear words a lot.  I picked up the habit from mom (so did her MIL) .   Well, not really, she didn't swear in front of us when we were kids, but drops the f-bomb quite frequently now (mom is a very meek person, so it's her way of venting I think, and pretty funny as she always vows she will cut back on swearing).  I am very very audience and context-conscious, and never swear at work or around older/more polite/very intelligent folks, swear moderately at home and around friends, and if I'm in the field you can see the blue streak from the next township.  Unless I am using them as a response to pain or annoyance I tend to throw them in casually as punctuation or adjective. 


I wish I could cuss instead of swear, though.   I meet it halfway with expressions like "f*ck a duck", "sh*t on a shingle", "ass/crap on a stick". 


As for a hierarchy of swears - DEFINITELY.   It takes a lot to make me pull out the c-word, and especially to direct it at a woman ....  if I do it means bitch x 10^18, and not in the context of reducing a person to a body part (and I would NEVER say it to anyone's face).  Can only think of one person I've directed it to lately; she is a bitch x 10^18 and causes misery for her own personal amusement.   I will loosen the usage a bit in certain all-male company as a jocular anatomical reference, but that's even rare. 

I am trying to think of any other words that even come close to the taboo I have with the c-word....  I have started to shy away from Christian blasphemies (put them a little higher up the hierarchy than the f-word, but that's not saying much ), probably because they are not really blasphemous for me but have the capacity to unintentionally offend some more than others.   Racial epithets are definitely taboo.

Hmm....  so when do I get to learn the new swears?  I am only comfortable using f*ck and sh*t as propers swears, and don't consider most of the lesser ones to be real swear words.  If it airs on primetime TV, it doesn't count.

One replacement phrase I want to use more often is "Tartar Sauce" - thank Spongebob, but it's appropriate for the Monastery as well.

[pieces o nine]

I never used Bad Words while I was growing up (although my dad, former USAF, let the non-biological function ones fly freely despite how much it added to the sufferings of Jesus on the cross...)

Then one day after I left home I tried out a couple cusswords. Just the "gateway swears" like: Crap! Hell! Damn! @sshole! Before I knew it I was hooked, graduating to harder words. I only used them around the appreciative audience of my friends (who were too busy swearing themselves to take much notice). Then came a visit home, and submission to Attending Mass with the Rest of the Family. An ankle strap broke on my new heels as I stepped out of the house: instantly, the devil made the f-bomb come out of my mouth, loudly enough to be heard clearly by all present. (Who pretended that they had Heard Nothing, a skill much-honed in my family.)

With middle age has come maturity, or at least boredom with the common, and I have successfully eradicated most swearing from my active vocabulary. I have cultivated phrases such as: "I do not give a rodent's derrière." After all, if one is supposed to say, "excuse my French," then it seems very bad form not to know any and sling it about now and then.

But if I'm driving alertly, obeying sensible regulations yet keeping up with traffic, when some jerk yakking on a cellphone in a Lexus with, apparently, non-functioning lane-change signals abruptly cuts me off without ever turning his head,  (stopping my heart in the couple seconds of abrupt high-traffic-pattern-reshuffle this little move always generates) while he drives slower than surrounding traffic for *one mile* until he makes an abrupt, unsignaled right-hand turn! [Gah! Die  you bastard!] that old f-bomb leaps from the ash heaps of my vocabulary. It's not very lady-like, I know. But neither is death by jerk in a Lexus.

Other than that...



Actually, my writing is more formal than my speaking, even on a forum, and I generally see little reason to sully my prose with swearing.

[Sibling Chatty]

I'm proficient at swearing, cussin' and good ol' Texas trash talk.

I censored myself when I spoke of the Omnian prophet of profit as a c-word, you know the one, even though he's male. I don't bother to censor myself often on line, because it's generally 'bullshit' that I use as a cuss word. Because what I generally cuss about is someone's stupid-ass bullshit.

And yeah, I even cuss with a Texas accent.

[Aggie]

Actually, my writing is more formal than my speaking, even on a forum, and I generally see little reason to sully my prose with swearing.

*rumble* 

I am a technical writer at heart, and they don't fit well.  Plus, they are so much less satisfying if you can't say them out loud - emoticons work better in foruming for me than partially-starred groups of letters. 

[pieces o nine]

I am a technical writer at heart, and they don't fit well.  Plus, they are so much less satisfying if you can't say them out loud - emoticons work better in foruming for me than partially-starred groups of letters. 

True dat.

Entire paragraphs of run-on sentences (festooned with parenthetical digressions) also serve to convey hyperventilating emotion, with nary a censor-prompt.

Technical writing: do you mean manuals?
One might liven them up a little by inserting appropriate swear words where they are most needed with the instructional jargon.

[Aggie]

Technical writing: do you mean manuals?
One might liven them up a little by inserting appropriate swear words where they are most needed with the instructional jargon.

Environmental reports.  I save the swearing for reviewing lab results...  
_{oh, the terrible things they did to my detection limits....}

[Aphos]

Well, I came to this thread because I was curious as to just what was being discussed.

As for using swear words...it is most often an emotional release, and not a lot of thought goes into which word I am using.

[Swatopluk]

I chose: I do not know enough swear words.
I prefer to insult politely . If I refer to somebody as "der/die ehrenwerte <last name>" (=the honorable...) that is meant as an insult. Otherwise I tend to shout at my computer a lot (especially, when some Microsoft product does not work the way I expect it to do). "Gottverdammte Scheiße" at high dB levels is the preferred choice. It has the almost perfect combination and sequence of sounds. Especially the "ß" at the end beats anything I know in English.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

First, I do use them a lot. Second, I believe a good number of them are by nature derogatory (like the n-word or c-word) therefore used in such context with their original meaning is a no-no. For instance I would never call a special child a moron.

That being said, I do use them when someone is willfully behaving as if (s)he were mentally incapacitated. Back in school with my group of friends I learned the use of an introduction to dispel notions and emphasize: Your mother may be a saint but you are a Son-of-a-wh0re! 

Regarding fecal matter, I tend to use the German version (scheisse) because it is less probable for someone around to understand (French, Italian & Spanish versions are well understood).

Lastly if I am angry I will utter them in loaded Spanish.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

I chose: I do not know enough swear words.
I prefer to insult politely . If I refer to somebody as "der/die ehrenwerte <last name>" (=the honorable...) that is meant as an insult. Otherwise I tend to shout at my computer a lot (especially, when some Microsoft product does not work the way I expect it to do). "Gottverdammte Scheiße" at high dB levels is the preferred choice. It has the almost perfect combination and sequence of sounds. Especially the "ß" at the end beats anything I know in English.

Oooh! Confession time-- I too, swear at my Computer!

And for much the same reasons as you!

My anti-computer swears are usually based on bodily waste products, which in retrospect, is a insult to a substance that at least has use as plant fertilizer.

I'm happy to know that I'm not the only person that shouts at inanimate objects as if it was alive.   

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

I'm very causal about swearing. Everything but the c-word, "pussy" (I use 'pansy' instead), and racial slurs. Because that's plain offensive. Christian blasphemies happen occasionally, but I tend to save them for dropping stuff on my toes.
The 'f-bomb' is an integral part of my vocabulary, and I don't think it's going to change.
I can censor myself at home and at work, but off the clock and with friends, I really don't care.
I also think it's hilarious to see the reaction I get when I mix my swearing with my more hifalutin vocabulary. The confused looks I get when I call some one a lackadaisical fuck-head are never-ending.
I censor myself online, unless I use it for humor.
I swear at my computer sometimes, but mostly while driving (people in this city are seriously bad drivers, and they NEVER hangup the frikin' phone).

[pieces o nine]

Some time back an essay in a neopagan mag covered the use of blasphemy. The writer felt that if one is going to take the name of a deity in vain, it really ought to be a deity that s/he has no regard for. (Very sensible suggestion, eh what?) Writer's favorite swear: Satan take my bicycle!

I like it.   

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

I might have to steal that one! I like it.