Katastrofala omslag

[Lindorm]

There´s a very good Swedish blog out there that never fails to make me and Darlica gasp, wheeze, cover our heads in shame, laugh like a pair of demented hyenas and emit strangled cries of "The Trauma! The Horror! I need Strong Drink to fortify my frail spirits!.

It's called Katastrofala omslag and, much like the title says, it is all about disastrous record covers. German "party-sound" saxophone medlys. Swedish Born Again Christian Osmonds-clones. Free give-aways from petrol stations. Sabrina. Eighties Poodle hair-and-giant-earclips pop princesses. And much, much more.

The text and comments from the blog propreitor, Herr Dryck ("Mr. Beverage") are all in Swedish, which is a bit unfortunate, since they are often absolutely hilarious and of an excellent bad taste. Still, the pictures are worth a thousand words. Though you might want to wash your eyes with bleach afterwards.

One word of caution: Some of the images might not be worksafe -you know, artistic french disco with a bit of tits on the cover, or german records with "Swedish Sin" themes, though nothing really nasty. at least not in that way.

Take a look at: http://katastrofalaomslag.blogspot.se/ !

A sample:

[Sibling DavidH]

Yup, they're pretty dire!  My favourite is Sparks.

[Swatopluk]

Yeah it took some time before these hairdos and colour mixes were officially declared a crime against humanity and there still remain pockets of resistance (another reason not to have German TV and to ignore most radio stations).

[Opsa]

Wow, Lindorm, I think we've made a cosmic link. I just took photos of these two album jackets yesterday from my collection.

See below.

[Darlica]

Oh dear! Opsa! What dark secrets have you been hiding all this time!!!

[Opsa]

Heehee! I just love horrible old album covers. The ones on that website are a hoot!

Does anyone else here have any weird old album art to share?

[Lindorm]

"Organ moods"... how very Freudian indeed...

Care to share any more of your dark and horrible secrets with us, Opsa? It looks as if you have quite a few things to confess.

[Opsa]

I have a deep dark fascination with the tacky. I think it's because of my Mom's penchant for putting on snobby airs in the 1960's and '70's... well, even now. The OPs family enjoys a good laugh at a hideous clown lamp and the like at yard sales and antique malls. I wouldn't buy a clown lamp, but I will buy an old album if the cover is so unbelievably bad I wouldn't be able to describe it. And if it's cheap!

I used bad old album covers for gift wrapping back in my punk days. It was always a hit.

[Swatopluk]

http://basementrug.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/attila.jpg
http://einestages.spiegel.de/hund-images/2009/11/27/1/937c5426f8e75f590b26e8c5e3006531_image_document_large_featured_borderless.jpg
http://19.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksihq78hUQ1qzlr7ao1_r1_400.jpg
http://www.jpc.de/image/w300/front/0/1049421.jpg

Here is a gallery of censored covers (showing them both before and after)
http://einestages.spiegel.de/external/ShowTopicAlbumBackground/a2724/l0/l0/F.html#featuredEntry
and here an ugly cover collection
http://einestages.spiegel.de/static/authoralbumbackground/1291/gruselkabinett_im_plattenschrank.html

[Opsa]

OMG! That last one has Heino's "Leibe Mutter"- I saw that in a book called Incredibly Strange Music and it lives in infamy for the Opses. When we want to be extra creepy we'll say "Leibe Mutter" to eachother in a strange, high-pitched insect voice. We are a weird family. It's what keeps us together.

Oddly enough, Mr. Ops spotted another Heino album in a local antique store the other day. I don't know which one. I begged him to go back and buy it for me for Christmas!

[Swatopluk]

Lots of Heino on youtube. He's still active too (or at least still was last year).
Poaching on foreign songs too
[youtube=425,350]0e-z0e3vrkA[/youtube]

And here the classic parody
[youtube=425,350]qx9HEn8aq1c[/youtube]

[Opsa]

I know he's really big over there. The book described him as singing nationalistic tunes and exciting old ladies to the point where they throw their panties onstage... which is why I always thought that the "Night of the Almost Dead" episode of Father Ted was really about a Heino-like character.

Of course, we have similar characters here in the States. Andy Williams comes to mind.

I had no idea that he had a deep voice! That will change how we say "Leibe Mutter" around here, let me tell you.

I found a YouTube of his earlier stuff here with a band called "The Okay Singers". What a hoot! And the album jacket has a curious resemblance to the Playmates album I posted above. I would definitely pick it up if I saw it.

[Swatopluk]

Btw, the guy is a learned confectioner. If you can't stand his sweet music, maybe he can interest you in his cakes
His preferred musical genre (volkstümlich) has a general rightward tendency, he is just the most prominent example. I am not aware that he ever tried to beat the drum for any extremist movement. He is considered to be just conservative (and our conservatives  are harmless compared to those in the US or even the British Tories).

But even Heino can be topped: Meet Heintje*
[youtube=425,350]vjghUwJXa4k[/youtube][youtube=425,350]u0yqKrGKukE[/youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjghUwJXa4k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0yqKrGKukE

*who today hates his image he simply cannot get rid of. He'd like to be respected for his adult (no, not prawn ) entertainment work but everyone and their grannies only remember him (with horror or adulation) as the saccharine singing brat.

[Opsa]

Coincidentally, he reminds me of Donny Osmond, the very tiny fellow who appears with Andy Williams in the previous clip (which may have been his first appearance on TV). Donny was famous as a saccharine brat with such skin-crawling hits as "Puppy Love". Oddly enough, he managed to grow up and do well on Broadway, but his squeaky clean image still haunts him.

_{PS: The kid in the striped shirt in your top clip looks like you as a kid!}

[Opsa]

:UPDATE:

We are now proud owners of a Heino album. (see below)