The Last Post Game!!!!

[Swatopluk]

Well, better gibberish than glibbery

Last _{and let's not be glib about that} Post

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Here's the German translation btw:

Schwafelbumsy

Um Tuckzwitsch schleimstrunz  Kloppmentars
Kötpfiffen/Tölpfufften reineksch im Blondiestall
Ginmies warn Inceloffs in Bars
Und Afden schäumengroll

Hab Acht vorm Schwafelbums, Dirn lütt
Dem Schmatzerschlund und Muschigrapsch
Halt fern dich von dem Moos-Kuh-Mück
Scheu Leinsam-Graham-Flatsch

AOC Teigens Tweet schlägt an
Behufs Entblähung des orangen Schrats
Wider Aufdunsfeind kühnen Hauf vereint
Sie warten im Rondell des Staats

Und während weibsstolz man dort stand
Der Schwafelbums, Schmähgosch entloht,
Cofvevte her durchs Hohlkopfland
Und schamlos streichernd droht

Oh Nein! Sechs-Neun! Geselchtes Schwein
Friß Teigens Tweet arg und viral
Das geht glatt rein mit Text unfein
Die Wirkmacht ist fatal

Dem Schwafelbums bogt ihr es bei?
Umhalst der Mädel wackren Bann
Jauchztag! Juchei! Tandaradei!
Der Petz steppt wie er kann

Um Tuckzwitsch schleimstrunz  Kloppmentars
Kötpfiffen/Tölpfufften reineksch im Blondiestall
Ginmies warn Inceloffs in Bars
Und Afden schäumengroll

Afden = primitive Hominiden mit bläulich-weißem Fell und brauner Unterwolle

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Your german breaks google translator.

Last :-P ^__^ Post

[Swatopluk]

I just fed it to the translator too.
I am actually surprised about the results.
It actually tries to make sense of the nonsense and seeminlgy assumes several words to be misspellings or some blanks gone missing.
And there are some examples of blind guesswork partially backfiring.
Interestingly it knows some old words and is able to give the right translation for the context even when it's not the common one.
E.g. it translates 'Bann' as 'bunch' not as 'banishment'. On the other hand it does not recognize 'Friss' (eat! swallow!) despite being a regular form of a regular non-obsolete German word but (I guess) assumes a misspelled 'fries' and then translates it as 'fry' (which would be the correct imperative form required by the context).
And it gets three attempts at 'Schwafelbums' and comes up with three different results.
Another surprising (but failed) case of analysis is what it makes out of 'Teigen'. It does not recognize it being a proper noun but notices a possible root 'Teig' (dough) and -en as the standard infinitive suffix and then constructs an English verb 'to dough' out of it.

Last _{auto-translating has made great progress over the years indeed} Post

Edit: Letting google translator work on the English version yields an even better result in German. It clearly uses the same analytical tools but has fewer of them botched. But (as I have noticed before at other times) it occasionally tends to leave out words for no apparent reasons, e.g. it translates 'to be filled with outrage to the brim' as 'randvoll sein' (to be filled to the brim) simply dropping the outrage.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Apparently it's a form of Machine still Learning.

Last _{although admittedly German is fricking hard compared to English} Post

[Swatopluk]

According to one theory the vikings robbed English of most of its declension and conjugation suffixes (and keep them hostage on Iceland and the Faroese islands).

Last _{but they left a lot of words behind when finally kicked out} Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

English is a form of lingua franca.

Last _{that's why it's so easy} Post

[Swatopluk]

Confusing cause and effect?
Neither Spanish nor Arabic became significantly simpler when they became global. To the contrary, Arabic dialects became mutally unintelligible* (and to my knowledge no one actually speaks 'high Arabic' these days anymore).
On the other hand koine Greek was indeed a simplified version of the 'high' language which it later replaced, and that process was influenced significantly by Greek going 'global'

*of course one could say the same about some local variants of English but that is mostly about pronounciation.

Last _{Let's be happy that the world language is not Sanskrit*} Post

*a professor of mine used to say that Sanskrit is for people who consider classical Greek to be far too simple

[Griffin]

We had a friend who was doing Sanskrit at Cambridge Uni when my ex was there. A nice guy, but a little strange, with a very long beard but it was the 60's.

Variants on English: I cannot understand some local speaks, like deepest Newcastle, I can't even make out the words let alone understand them. But I did learn Gloustershire. (pronounced Glosstersher in London speak). And of course we do have the Featherstonhaughs. (leave you to guess the pronounciation).

I can't do your puzzle Swato but I notice the diamond lowest in the screen is somewhat of a free radical with no iron frame. However, I fear this is a red herring. (idiom and logical fallacy).

I fear I have missed the UK implodes discussion, but don't worry, the next three weeks will keep me on the edge of my seat (um, I mean bed).

Last _{will Boris break the law again? when will the government collapse? And other questions.} Post

[Swatopluk]

By now I somehow got the puzzle solved (although I cannot remember how anymore).

How different is the actual wording in different English dialects, i.e. would the mutual intelligibility drastically increase if one switched to writing or not? E.g. written standard Icelandic and Faroese are similar enough to be understood by each other without problems (same with Danish/Norwegian/Swedish) while (as far as I have heard) Arabic dialects are different enough that even in written form mutual intelligibility is not guaranteed.

Last _{of course many consider Danish pronounciation to be something to be criminalized} Post

[Griffin]

English dialects in certain areas have some words which are specific to them - which I can't understand. I don't know how many and it varies by location. Some are easy to guess, like the Scots' "outwith" ( the word just means the area outside something like you might say "The apple trees are outwith the castle" where no apple trees inside the castle but there are some near the castle. Context is helpful. Other words unguessable even with context. Of course, Pearly talk can be inpenetrable for non-Pearlys (rhyming slang, but you need to know for most) - for example "apples and pears" means "stairs", some are easier to guess than others.

Last _{haven't turned on the TV/Radio or got News on my phone or laptop. What will be today's News?} Post

[Swatopluk]

Default assumption should be: Trump and/or Boris have said something outrageous that would end the career of a normal office holder.

as for language, isn't 'without' a rather absurd word? Even 'unwith' would imo make more sense.

Last _{Ach, komm'se gehn'se wech} Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

In Spanish without is sin.

Last _{make your own conclussions} Post

[Swatopluk]

I thought in catholicism 'doing it' 'with' was a sin.

Last _{damned if you do...} Post

[Pachyderm]

Idly wanders in, absent-mindedly pokes and prods a few things. "Good Lord, is that a Fanshawe?"  (see Griff's earlier post for the correct spelling)

and while everyone is distracted, leaves with the

Last _{well, that was unexpected...} Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Don't leave so quickly.

Last _{you may miss something} Post