The Last Post Game!!!!

[Aggie]

But were those old money guys not also of the opinion that the brain comes from the father (women being defective in that department)?
What the ideal mating object needed was health, the right bodily constitution (bred for breeding) and a sense for the practical (organizing skills). Bluestockings were seen as lacking in all three, or not? What use is a pale, skinny, narrow-hipped horse-face that hides the latter behind a book all the time and can't even cook properly?

There's still lots of old money, and the taste these days runs more to university-educated, attractive, highly social and able to handle the philanthropic needs of the family, or so I would understand.  A serious business mogul hasn't the time to coordinate all the class-required social events or to manage the staff of the household (so I agree with organizational skills). A reasonable degree (at least a Masters; a Ph.D might imply an actual career is desired). 

Thanks to modern medicine, broad hips and a robust constitution are not a major requirement.

I'm fine with being a trophy husband and have considered being such (and a homemaker) in the past. Career is a necessary evil to me, and doesn't provide much incentive in itself (other than money by which to have the resources to afford a spouse and children, and enough free time to actually interact with them).


Last _{I have no wish to have two wives, unless both are thoroughly modern women who wish to have both a husband and a wife.} Post

[Swatopluk]

My chances of becoming anyone's trophy other half are negligible.

Last _{just some consensual sex now and then would be nice but seems also not to be in the cards} Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

]I have no wish to have two wives, unless both are thoroughly modern women who wish to have both a husband and a wife.

So long you don't get a "she loves him more than her" [or viceversa] kind of argument... 

In most of my educational experience (especially biology, chemistry and environmental studies) there's been a good mix of male and female students, and this followed through to employment in the environmental sector.

The thing is that despite being better in math and sciences in highschool a very small fraction pursue degrees in math, physics and engineering. It reminds me of the experiments with baby monkeys in which the males choose toy cars and the females choose dolls without outside influence.

Last _{biology sciences and humanities are the usual targets} Post

[Aggie]

Last _{just some consensual sex now and then would be nice but seems also not to be in the cards} Post

It's probably not as difficult as you think to obtain, but getting yourself to a place where it's allowable to yourself, and enjoyable, is another matter.  I'm horribly self-restricted in the matter and sometimes find more restrictions as I go along. There are plenty who would have sex with me but less than a handful who I've chosen to allow to do so, and at least half of those I regret.

]I have no wish to have two wives, unless both are thoroughly modern women who wish to have both a husband and a wife.

So long you don't get a "she loves him more than her" [or viceversa] kind of argument... 

Ah, but if this was the condition for all three parties, the perfect love triangle could happen. Two in love is enough trouble, and I'm sure three is worse. Best case: There is a mediator for any particular disagreement.   Worst case: It's 2 on 1 in any argument. 

As a divorced man, the thought of a traditional polygynous marriage scares the crap out of me.  One wife is enough trouble; imagine if they played as a team!

Last Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

I watched Gone Girl yesterday and just one woman can scare the crap out of me. 

Last Post

[Griffin NoName]

I watched Gone Girl yesterday and just one woman can scare the crap out of me. 

I've just bought the book. I want to read it before I have to see the film. No spoilers please.

Last Post

[Swatopluk]

It has been debated whether the number of persons in a marriage (based on equality) should be odd or equal.

Last _{5-4 decisions can be toxix as SCOTUS proves on a regular base} Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Actually I believe that unanimous decisions in marriage are way more toxic.

Last _{know cases of perfect agreement till the day of the divorce} Post

[Swatopluk]

The traditional way is 'one man, one vote'. He's the man, he has the vote.

Last _phallocratic Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Then I don't know the first 'traditional' marriage.

Last _{exclusively for the ultra rich} Post

[Swatopluk]

In ruling over his family even the poor man was king.

Last Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

You said it correctly: "was". How many 'traditional' (male completely dominant) families do you know? My grandfather used to manage his family this way but by the time I came along he had softened his stance quite a bit and at the time of his death I doubt my grandmother felt a yoke lifted from her back. He had a friend who treated his wife and daughter more in the old fashion way but he's also gone (they did feel their yoke gone). Those two died in the last century, and at the moment I can't think of anyone else I personally know who holds that worldview.

Last _{I'm sure they exist but not in any circle I've been exposed to in two countries, in the past 20-30 years} Post

[Griffin NoName]

My parents did. My mother now dead. My father treats his daughters the same way. [see my latest tale of woe thread]. Basically he is a bully with bizarre rules for how to behave which he enforces. He thinks it is correct and regards others who behave differently as very wrong and rants against them. He also complains that my mother was weak in disciplining us.

Last Post

[Aggie]

You said it correctly: "was". How many 'traditional' (male completely dominant) families do you know? My grandfather used to manage his family this way but by the time I came along he had softened his stance quite a bit and at the time of his death I doubt my grandmother felt a yoke lifted from her back. He had a friend who treated his wife and daughter more in the old fashion way but he's also gone (they did feel their yoke gone). Those two died in the last century, and at the moment I can't think of anyone else I personally know who holds that worldview.

I know contemporary Korean families who continue to hold this view, and it's publicly endorsed to some degree, but it's a coin flip whether any given family unit is a patriarchy or a matriarchy. My gut feeling is that the richer the family, the more likely it is to be male-dominated.  My ex-FIL certainly didn't rule the household in the time I knew him, despite a 30-year military career (to the equivalent rank of Colonel).

My father was pretty dominant when I was younger, but that's changed considerably as my parents have aged.  For the most part it seems to be a team, with little squabbles about this or that. I think my mother kept a pretty firm hand when it came to raising the children, though.

Last Post

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

In Colombia the more conservative parts of the country still have some of the mindset but mostly in small towns and rural areas and slowly but surely going away for good.

Last _{in my experience Colombia is far less chauvinistic than the US} Post