Yarr, me 'earties! Oi be a tellin' ye on account o' me 'avin a contritomps contretamps er foight wiv a scurrilous blaggard, Oi now bin fitted wiv a woodin toe, so from now on Oi'll be known as Dread Cap'n Peg Toe Bluenose. Avast!!!
Oh dear! That name be fearsum. My grandson in Aussie broke his toe, be there a speshiul place ter go wiv broken toes?
Well, Oi kin rekamend a good 'ospitell to get it chopped off, iffen e'd loike that... Yarrr!
'e prefers the deformashiun ter bein' cut arwf.
ee's not muche ov a poirate, then, eh?
Oi rekken not.
Stille, there moight be hope fer im yet. Izzee enny goode wiv a cutlass?
Nah! But 'e be graite wiv chopstikks.