Llama Council Email

[ivor]

I got a couple of email for the llamacouncil.org site.  Clearly people don't read my home page.  It's all a spoof of course but anyway, how should I answer?

My 2 year old female has developed a softball sized swelling in the cheek area on the left side
of her face. Suggestions or thoughts on what is happening. Please advise. Thanks. Tom.

and...

4 years ago I was given 2 llamas: 1 male, 1 female. The person who gave them to me did not know
if they were related to each other, or if either had been neutered.  The male has never shown
the slightest interest in the female.  I was told that if he had been gelded I would see where
the testicles had been sliced.  But no such scarring exists.  Why will they not breed?

LOL!

[Alpaca]

Yes! Amazing!

Whenever I search around for things related to the Lama genus, I'm always amazed to find the incredible amount of software written specifically for herd management.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Pity we don't have a vet in house, though. 

[ivor]

I was thinking of recommending some recipes...  Whatta goin' ta do?  One llama that's been chew' tabbaka and one llama that seems to be gay.  I'm thinkin' llama fajitas!

[Alpaca]

Would that be a great many regular-sized fajitas? Or just two enormous ones?

Also, should I include the softball-sized swelling in the fajita, or cut that bit out?

[Aggie]

That's for slowpitch.

[ivor]

Eeeewww!!!

[anthrobabe]

I see that in addition to questionable food practices one can "get" a llama ring tone via Google ads at your site

I'm afraid to even hear what it sounds like 

I think the humor is probably too subtle for the average H. sapien-- most of our species have to be bashed over the head with something and then they are like "what'd you do that for?"

Pirates and Llamas ---- 

I'm joining up right now!

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Worried
Llamas are very shy creatures with a strong sense of faith. At two years of age your female will be experiencing the first pangs of adolescence and having difficulty communicating her true desires. She is indicating she would like you to get the album The Anatomy of the Tongue in Cheek by the Christian rock band Relient K for her. Hope this helps.
Llama Council

[Alpaca]

I'm joining up right now!

Giggle - I know! First email the Llama council has sent me since Darren took care of those spambots a while ago.

[ivor]

She's an Anthropologist, so she likes to poke dead things with sticks.  She told me that.  Too funny.

[anthrobabe]

 ( quickly hides stick behind back and puts on innocent face she has been perfecting since age 5) Who me?