Ouch that hurt

[Darlica]

Yesterday at work I got accuse of being a racist... by a coworker... 

(As I mentioned before I work part time in a booze and wine shop and in Sweden we have a alcohol monopole, so there are only one chain of government supervised shops that are allowed to sell beverages with more than 3% alcohol)

Now, getting accusations like that thrown at you from customers isn't that unusual. If you deny someone of non Scandinavian extraction to shop because they can't show a ID that confirm that they are of age (20 years old) it's basically the first thing you hear... I even got it from a 27 year old Asian woman just because I asked her for ID... I swear she didn't look to be a day over 16! But thinking so was obviously racist of me...

Now I can shrug that of, the customers doesn't know me, I'm just another uniform working for the man to them, but getting to hear it from someone I worked with several days a week for the whole summer... It made me really sad.

The background story was that I was alone at the cashier's desk when three people entered the store. I recognized one of the as a person on of my bosses told me to keep my eyes on because they might try to shoplift... Now as the good little minion I am at work, I did what I'm told and ringed the bell that signals "more staff on the floor stat!" and it so happens that these three men where all very dark skinned...

My coworker came out of the storage area took one look at the entourage and went back inside, telling another of my coworkers that I was a racist, "ringing the bell just because three black guys entered the shop"...
She told me when I got of my cashier spell and got to the storage area.

I confronted my coworker as soon he came in to the storage too. Telling him that I just did what I was told to do by a boss, and that skin colour has noting to do with it at least not from my part, and that I expected him to actually stay on the floor next time I called for backup. [mad]

I guess I wanted a " I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions! But all I got was "umm, ok."

I have always been the one refusing to to treat people differently because of colour, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation or looks in general. I have however been threatened and shouted at by skinheads and called a lot of degrading things because I tend to stand my ground and tell people my opinion, also my henna red hair triggers stupid reactions. But I never expected this.

I'm still sad. I thought I could shake it of but it seems harder than I thought.

/D

[Pachyderm]

Sorry that you are upset about this, but as far as I see, the problem lies with your co-worker.

Perhaps you could speak to your manager, but don't put it from a "he hurt my feelings" point of view. As you said, you expected back up when you signalled, which he failed to provide. Make that the issue. Ask never to be on the same shift as him. Your boss, if they are any good, will ask why the support wasn't given, both of you, and of him. That's when you explain the situation, let the boss sort it out. That's why they get the bigger salary...

[Darlica]

Sorry that you are upset about this, but as far as I see, the problem lies with your co-worker.

Perhaps you could speak to your manager, but don't put it from a "he hurt my feelings" point of view. As you said, you expected back up when you signalled, which he failed to provide. Make that the issue. Ask never to be on the same shift as him. Your boss, if they are any good, will ask why the support wasn't given, both of you, and of him. That's when you explain the situation, let the boss sort it out. That's why they get the bigger salary...

I have already talked to the boss, all she said was " have you talked to him? -yes, "well, then it's settled, there is no use to blow things like this out of proportions".

Our shop is too small to ask for us not be on the same shift now and then. Also, in general he's a nice guy, and he's good at his job.
I'm going to talk to him about this again, tell him who he actually should take a closer look at (yes, we have a few people around with questionable values among them an old lady) if he wants to question why the bell rings for backup...



I would have been much more worried and prone to make a big fuss about things if he was a racist

[Opsa]

Dear Darlica,

If you really were a racist this wouldn't have hurt you like it does. From my experiences, people who are racist tend to feel perfectly self-righteous for being so.

I agree with Pachy, the problem is your co-worker. He didn't feel like coming out to the shop, so he covered his laziness and/or feeling of being inconvenienced by calling you a name. That was pretty childish of him, but it won't help to sling another name back at him.

If you told him that you were instructed to be watchful of this individual customer and asked for backup, that's all you can do. If you hadn't, and the customer had stolen something, your boss would have asked you why you didn't ask for backup. If the situation occurs again, do the same thing you did last time. Just think of something to ask your co-worker to do on the floor for a few minutes, so he'll feel more useful.

Life is a juggling act. There really ought to be more circus music.

[Darlica]

Life is a juggling act. There really ought to be more circus music.

Can I quote you on this?

And I won't just sling another name at him, we have a person that really is a racist and even say so her self. She is extremely hostile against Romany people and people from the middle east... I bite my tongue every time she call for backup but I still go, because I have to.

[Opsa]

Life is a juggling act. There really ought to be more circus music.

Can I quote you on this?

Sure. 

Good for you for going even when the racist person calls. At least your presence in that situation may help balance things.

[anthrobabe]

I agree with that advice

lead by example

it hurts to be mislabeled, it has happened to me before and I found myself going out of my way to "prove the opposite" then I wondered if people would think I was being fake then decided that it didn't really matter- I know my heart and will do to others as I wish them to do to me-- and I wish to be treated like anyother person so that is how I treat people- like people.

[beagle]

Might be amusing to ask the management to clarify what the rules are for deciding when to ask for backup.  Will give you an amusing list of their approved prejudice list to chortle over if nothing else.

Tattoos   - 10 points
Leather Jacket - 5 points
Mohican or skinhead hair cut - 20 points
Piercings - 5 points each
Mad staring eyes - 100 points
Gun - 1000 points
Pete Doherty T-shirt - 2000 points

[Aggie]

Pete Doherty T-shirt - 2000 points

And if it's Pete himself, just save the police some time and tell them to pick him up outside the door. 

[Darlica]

Might be amusing to ask the management to clarify what the rules are for deciding when to ask for backup.  Will give you an amusing list of their approved prejudice list to chortle over if nothing else.

Tattoos   - 10 points
Leather Jacket - 5 points
Mohican or skinhead hair cut - 20 points
Piercings - 5 points each
Mad staring eyes - 100 points
Gun - 1000 points
Pete Doherty T-shirt - 2000 points

We sort of have a list.

Young people in large groups.

People in big or baggy clothes (it's easy to hide a bottle in the waistline of your pants if your t-shirt is 4 sizes to big).

People in big coats or jackets with large pockets (especially if they behave twitchy) or wear this kind of clothing even if the weather don't call for it.

And then some individuals that we more or less caught red handed...

[Alpaca]

Might be amusing to ask the management to clarify what the rules are for deciding when to ask for backup.  Will give you an amusing list of their approved prejudice list to chortle over if nothing else.

Tattoos   - 10 points
Leather Jacket - 5 points
Mohican or skinhead hair cut - 20 points
Piercings - 5 points each
Mad staring eyes - 100 points
Gun - 1000 points
Pete Doherty T-shirt - 2000 points

Now, where does this look fit in?

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

It makes perfect sense! Neo is a shoplifter!

[ivor]

I hate white people...

[anthrobabe]

I hope this is a joke

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

I hope this is a joke

Well the picture of the book shows "A Parodt" in big words, so there might be a little joke in it (but the guidelines are pretty much, how shoplifting could be done)