How to solve climate change

[goat starer]

not quite and the quickerr we finish the job the quicker we can stop carbon emissions from burning fossil fuels. It is much the same argument as the one that says that a nuclear war is the best way to achieve disarmament!

[Black Bart]

Yeah but I like my arms!!!!

[Swatopluk]

What about dismembering all humans (i.e. deleting their membership on this planet because of inappropriate behaviour)?
But no burial by cremation!!!

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

What about dismembering all humans (i.e. deleting their membership on this planet because of inappropriate behaviour)?
But no burial by cremation!!!

Unless you bury them in a deep fault-line, natural decay is the same as cremation, only slower ...

I say the solution is to make it illegal to print multiple copies, and bring back carbon-paper.

[Sibling Lambicus the Toluous]

I say the solution is to make it illegal to print multiple copies, and bring back carbon-paper.

... but make 'em extract the carbon from atmospheric CO₂!

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

I say the solution is to make it illegal to print multiple copies, and bring back carbon-paper.

... but make 'em extract the carbon from atmospheric CO₂!

'ZACT-ly!

[Griffin NoName]

I say the solution is to make it illegal to print multiple copies, and bring back carbon-paper.

... but make 'em extract the carbon from atmospheric CO₂!

And replace log-burning hearths with carbon-paper burning hearths for when they are all used up so nothing copies any more.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Or, you could mandate that all shopping bags be made of used carbon-paper.  This keeps the carbon in the "loop" a bit longer.

[Sibling Chatty]

I think that all the people using dark hair dye should just use the left-over carbon paper on their heads, THEN recycle it into shopping bags.

I would also support the recycling of burned out, used up politicians into either cordwood or rat poison, depending on how rotten they are.

[Swatopluk]

Black hair dye is itself critical. It decreases the world's albedo.
Therefore all black-haired people should dye their hair blond.
[no racism intended]
Maybe we should make tinfoil hats mandatory for the same reason.

[Sibling Chatty]

Tinfoil hats as solar power collectors SHOULD be mandatory.

A good tinfoil hat, a couple of Peltier junctions and the proper reversible collectors/applications, and every person could provide their own energy, heating, cooling, refrigeration and cooking capacity.

With no fossil fuels used for electricity except for lighting, there would be a net savings on crud dumped into the air!!

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

(believe it or not, the following was a semi-serious proposial at a University)

Since one of the Greenhouse gasses is methane.

And, since it has been shown that cows emit methane as a normal part of their digestive process - especially domestic cows (they seem to emit more per cow than their wild cousins).

We should roof-over ALL cattle ranches.  Large suction fans, mounted in these enclosures would circulate the air, and the methane would be chemically trapped, and later burned as fuel.

Moreover all those vast roofs could be a nice location for solar collector cells.

....

Now, if you could only do something about the smell ... *holding nose*

[Sibling Chatty]

Ronnie Reagan's legacy lives on...

To effectively solve climate change, we need to collect the pollutants and problems, gather them together and put them into a spacecraft on a trajectory toward the Sun. It's hot enough there that a little Global Warming won't hurt.

Let's start with about 75% of Congress, 90% of the administration and Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. That would be enough hot air to power the vehicle into space.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Ronnie Reagan's legacy lives on...

To effectively solve climate change, we need to collect the pollutants and problems, gather them together and put them into a spacecraft on a trajectory toward the Sun. It's hot enough there that a little Global Warming won't hurt.

Let's start with about 75% of Congress, 90% of the administration and Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. That would be enough hot air to power the vehicle into space.

Not to mention the congress-critter flatulance could be used to power the internal systems.  I imagine the gas from Rush alone, would be enough for most of the 6 month trip.

[Sibling Lambicus the Toluous]

We should roof-over ALL cattle ranches.  Large suction fans, mounted in these enclosures would circulate the air, and the methane would be chemically trapped, and later burned as fuel.

Moreover all those vast roofs could be a nice location for solar collector cells.

....

Now, if you could only do something about the smell ... *holding nose*

To effectively solve climate change, we need to collect the pollutants and problems, gather them together and put them into a spacecraft on a trajectory toward the Sun. It's hot enough there that a little Global Warming won't hurt.

Let's start with about 75% of Congress, 90% of the administration and Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. That would be enough hot air to power the vehicle into space.

Actually, you two aren't that far off each other.  It was similar thinking that led to the unique roof design of the Capitol dome; its success at capturing hot air and unpleasant emanations was the reason why was copied for many state legislatures. 

The Canadian and British Parliament buildings used a different approach to the problem: instead of a large dome, they both have a system of ducts and tubes that feed a large combustion chamber, which then heats another set of ducts that heat the building (like an "indirect fired" heater or furnace, if you're up on your HVAC terminology).  The system is completely unpowered; it relies on natural convection, hence the prominent tower on both buildings (the Peace Tower in the Canadian case, "Big Ben" in the British) to move air by an ingenious use of the pressure differentials caused by the stack effect; in both cases, the clock was added as decoration.

In the case of the US Capitol, the gases are fed through underground pipes* to the Washington Monument where they are burned as fuel for a giant boiler; this boiler feeds the heating system for the federal buildings around it.  Interestingly, the Reflecting Pool is actually the reservoir for this system. 

*Because of the distances involved, the American version can't use natural convection like the British and Canadian systems.  Instead, the gases are propelled by a system of pumps and impellers; originally they were powered mechanically by a waterwheel on the Potomac (by means of shafts and cogs that ran the length from the river to the Capitol!)... in the 1840s this system was replaced by a coal-fired steam engine, and it was converted to electrical power twice: in 1905, the Edison Company installed a system to show the benefits of DC-current electricity; in 1908, the motors were replaced with AC units when it became apparent that Edison's widely-touted nation-wide DC distribution networks would not be forthcoming.