Pip Pip, Tally Ho - Talk Like a Land Lubber

[Bluenose]

<resists almost overwhelming desire to sneak a peek>

Jolly good Lady Opsa...

<tosses crust to urchins lurking over garden wall>

There you go you scoundrels, that's your lot for this week.  Now be off with you!

I don't understand it, I distinctly remember throwing a apple core at them just last week, and here they are, yet again begging for more.  Disgraceful and so untidy looking.

How is Lady Pieces?  Do you think it's serious?

[Opsa]

Indeed yes, it's always frightfully serious when a lady swoons. Just gaze upon her colour! Those roses on her cheeks have gone from "Dainty Bess" to positively "Etoile de Hollande", though that may have happened just after you peeked.

I fear we'll need some stronger brandy.

[pieces o nine]

* opens eyes woozily *
Did one hear "brandy" mentioned?


Oh, good heavens!
* hastily re-cinches bodice *

[Opsa]

Oh goody, it seems you've recovered (in more ways than one)!

Let us celebrate with some of this exemplary pear brandy and hideously expensive cheeses, the rinds of which we may elect to toss over to the urchins as a sign of grateful benevolence.

[pieces o nine]

Splendid suggestion, Lady Opsa.

One so admires these exquisite Bamberg pear brandy snifters. Were they acquired on one of your thrilling expeditions to exotic locations?

[Opsa]

Don't I wish! No, they were just a gift from the Grand Duchess when she last visited. A little thank-you offering, don't you know. The old dear insisted.

There we are. Shall we go watch the polo match?

[pieces o nine]

There is nothing like a rousing chukker -- or two, or six -- when one is enjoying a fine pear brandy, what?

[Opsa]

Indeed, indeed. Who is available to bring the carriage around?

[Pachyderm]

*bows*

May one be of assistance? My conveyance lies just yonder, and one is fortunate enough to have acquired the services of a truly excellent driver and footman.

*offers arm*

[Bluenose]

Why thank you, Lord Pachy, but I rather suspect it would be better to offer your arm to the ladies, eh what?

[Pachyderm]

Ah, 'tis Milord of Noses Blue!

Fear not, good sir. There would appear to be yourself, and the two Ladies, and, being an helephant, one has two arms and a very prehensile trunk, plenty of room fer everyone, dontcher know...

[Opsa]

How teddibly convenient. And there's nothing so solid as an elephant to lean on when one has downed copious amounts of pear brandy.

[Pachyderm]

Absolutely, Milady. One does try to be of service. To one's peers, naturally. Not the great mob of unwashed oiks, of course. They simply do not know how to say "Thank you" in an appropriate fashion. Ghastly...

[DaveL]

Indeed Lord Pachy indeed. Speaking of which, I went down to the local produce markets and ate one of the finest 'peers' money could buy.  Fruit and vegetables are so hard to come by you know.

[Opsa]

Why, if it isn't Sir Dave! Goodness, do you suppose that this peer brandy is made from those same peers? I thought it was a little more cured, if that's the correct word.