Special Hot Squid Squad

[Special Agent Hot Squid]

Environmental concerns have been raised (informants unknown) regarding the treatment of vulenrable squdlings.

To aid our considerable efforts to prevent this (details not supplied), please phone in if you have had sightings or hear anything relating to the welfare of our squidkings.

We are always recruiting so consider joiing us.

Our campaign highlights are:

To get a ban on the use chilli pepper
To eradicte use of contrecptives to increase the poulation
To find new habiyats as the moat is seriously polluted ( uknown substances)

We need you. Sign up today and list skills you canm offer.

[Sibling Chatty]

Most of the stuff in the moat the squidlings dragged in themselves. They seem to like it that way.

They will not, however, accept responsibility for those two guy in white shirts, black pants and neckties (on bicycles) that ended up there last week. They claim to not even be able to spell Mormon, and I believe them. The squidlings think they were just scared by the shiny water and rode in on their own. (The squidlings like shiny things. By the way, was that your car they dragged in? They're upset that it won't run under water.)

[Aggie]

I heartily refute the ban on chili pepper!  It is essential to my identity!

[DaveL]

I'll have to check with the Squid doctor about my Squidlings use of birth control. Otherwise I'm all for it 

[The Meromorph]

Another issue in the moat is that the Squidlings outgrew their binkies and appear to have discarded in excess of 10,000 binkies in the moat. They are slowly decomposing, but some of them were 'heavy duty' models and may last for upwards of 300 years...

[Griffin NoName]

Does anyone know anything about the needs of adolescent squidlings?

[The Meromorph]

Aching yearnings, access to hidden stashes of soft porn and IPods I believe,,,

Of these, only the aching yearnings are mandatory. 

[Sibling Chatty]

I would like to suggest that the squidlings not be allowed to pierce or tattoo themselves until they achieve majority.

While it may be popular now, there's always their health and future to consider, and temporary ink is always available to them. Until underwater tattoos are perfected, they need to be patient.

Could we teach them to fashion clip-on body jewelry out of discarded binkies?

[anthrobabe]

I think the discarded binkies made into clip on jewelry idea is a fine one

Squidlings need and will consume massive quantities of any available food. Sleeping does not slow this consumption down as the adolescent squidlings body functions on many conscious and unconscious  levels and will feed its self even when the squidling is sleeping.
Therfore all food storage lockers, refridgerators, freezers and the like should be either locked or guarded. An adolescent squidling will also spend a large amount of time before said food storage places asking any available non-adolescent "is there anything to eat around here?"
I've lost entire sides of beef to the squidlings around my place.
Oh and when the local squidlings find a large source of available food they send out ultrasonic messages to the neighboorhood thereby alerting other squidlings in the area that FOOD! is found- so if strange squidlings begin to appear in the moat this is most likely what has happened.
If you are the one designated to feed the squidlings- wear gloves and if it has been a few hours since the last feeding then I suggest you throw the food and run.

[Opsa]

Adolescent squidlings are also given to fits of boredom, during which they can complain so loudly that even a toadfish thrum cannot drown them out.

I think we could do either one of two things:

1) Show them how to make their own jewelry out of the non-decomposed binkies.

2)Ask them to please clean up that mess they made in the moat. That ususally gets them busy on something else in a hurry.