Artist opens first plant porn theatre

[Griffin NoName]

Bound to be a hit: an American artist has come up with a new form of movie -- pornography for plants featuring uncensored pollination.

In 2003 Keats copyrighted his mind and recently he exhibited extraterrestrial abstract artwork. But he is best known for trying to genetically engineer God in a petri dish in collaboration with scientists at the University of California.

[Aggie]

Plants are exhibitionists by nature, anyways.  The have no problems with showing off their naughty bits, and quite spectacularly at times, too....



_{So that's why they call it Amorphophallus....}

But showing pollination to plants is a bit akin to watching human reproductive cycle videos in science class.  They'd do better to show some hot bee-on-orchid action. 

[Griffin NoName]

_{So that's why they call it Amorphophallus....}

My ex sent me a plant very similar to this one when I moved into a new house post divorce. 

(I did not feed or water it and watched it ..... droop and die.... sometimes one just has to be evil).

[Alpaca]

Of course, then there's the opposite end of the spectrum:


http://www.ups.edu/Images/Ensifera.jpg

[Swatopluk]

The first scientific description of hermaphroditic plants was met with loud protests from enraged Xtians. God would never allow such indecency ("Schweinerei"). I don't know whether the anger was especially hot because plants are more polyandrous than polygynous (i.e. many male parts but only one female in a blossom).

[anthrobabe]

_{So that's why they call it Amorphophallus....}

My ex sent me a plant very similar to this one when I moved into a new house post divorce. 

(I did not feed or water it and watched it ..... droop and die.... sometimes one just has to be evil).

isn't that one of the ones that smells like rotting meat so the various carrion flies are attracted to it- then get stuck in it sticky extrudations-then are digested by it?

I see lots of potential in the types of bamboo one can get for desk top good luck-- getting them to twine/twist in various positions could be interesting and just subtle enough so that the boss don't get it--- Not just porn positions- but maybe the finger as well.

[Swatopluk]

I think you are right about the smell but it is iirc to attract flies not for a reverse vegetarian meal but to use them as pollinators.

[anthrobabe]

I think you are right about the smell but it is iirc to attract flies not for a reverse vegetarian meal but to use them as pollinators.

gotcha-- thought it was a sort of eating thing
but it's a sex thing

Ok I'm not too good with attaching photos- let's hope this is a photo of Hoya kerrii (aka love plant)---

[Sibling Chatty]

About "desktop bamboo", also known as Lucky Bamboo.

It's not actually bamboo of any type, it's dracaena sanderiana. But it can be trained to do all sorts of interesting things.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracaena_sanderiana

http://luckybambooshop.com/   (Click on Lucky Bamboo in product list for more shaped plants.)

A nice five stalk planter with the center stalk well elevated and directed toward the Pointy Haired Boss's desk would be appropriate.