An Old Farmer's Advice

[Aggie]

Got this by email....  it's worth sharing. 

An Old  Farmer's Advice   
 
*Your  fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster  than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak  into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies.  It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big  person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel  word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you  wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are  lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then  when you get older and think back,  you'll enjoy it a second  time.

* Don't  interfere with somethin' that ain't  botherin you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. 

* If you find yourself in a  hole, the first thing to do is stop  diggin'. 

*  Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The  biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever Have to  deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always  drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from  experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than  puttin' it back  in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a  person of some  influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog  around.

* Live simply. Love  generously. Care  deeply.  Speak kindly. Leave the rest  to God.   

*Don't pick a fight with  an old man. If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill  you...

[Swatopluk]

The fifth from the end reminds me of this:

[Pachyderm]

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. 


Awesome. Just awesome.

[Sibling DavidH]

Brilliant!
I love this one:  Forgive your enemies.  It messes up their heads.

[Aggie]

Lots of wisdom there, but some of my favorites (in addition to the two above) are:

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back,  you'll enjoy it a second  time.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.


Got a smile out of this one:
* If you get to thinkin' you're a  person of some  influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

*Don't pick a fight with  an old man. If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill  you...

That one sounds exactly like Lazarus Long, of Robert A Heinlein's universe...

[Sibling DavidH]

Always  drink upstream from the herd.

True and amusing, but I'm not sure how that one extends to life in general.     Can anyone help?

[Pachyderm]

Don't follow the masses...

[Sibling DavidH]

Don't follow the masses...

Oh, yes, OK.  Thanks.

[Aggie]

More than that, really.  Also, don't let other people's sh!t cramp your day, and stay one step ahead of the herd. Aim for clean living even if everyone else is wallowing in it.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Or, if you know people is going to be sh!tting somewhere, anticipate where the sh!t is going to be now and later, and avoid it.

[Opsa]

These are all truly marvelous. One of my faves is:

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

I've been working on that one.