A Pssitaculturalist's Delight: Parrot Breedin' Stories

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Oi wuz teachin my parrot Welsh an' thought Oid start of with sumthin simple loike;

'Llanhyfryddawelllehynafolybarcudprindanfygythiadtrienusyrhafnauole '

Then he freaked out and flew to coop!! Oi 'aves no oidea why 

I'll try teachin me next parrot the finer points of Manx.

[Black Bart]

YArrrr...
I'll try teachin me next parrot the finer points of Manx.

For a minute thar Capn Dave I thought ye were teachin yer parrot:
'The finer points of MARX'. That would be impressive but it needs to be thought out proper loik.  If the Marxism was to spread to yer crew it could cause all sorts o bother. I once made the mistake of takin me crew to watch a Sartre play at the Skull & Crossbones Theatre in Portsmouth...on the next voyage, which appened to be a long one, all I could get out of the blaggards was Existential this and Existential that.  The entire crew had to be re-trained at the end of the lash!

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Me last flock of parrots started a Parrotal Revolution. One of the dominant parrots became known as the Chair-parrot, Kim-Jong Macaw. His picture was plastered all over the bird cage.

The other parrots started burnin' their seed trays clamin they were 'petty bourgois luxuries'. Before yer know it, non-complying parrots were being marched around through the bird cage, with signs around their necks sayin 'I'm a capitalist parrot'

Unfortunately Kim-Jong Macaw destroyed the bird cage when he started testing nuclear bird crackers'. Oi lost me whole avery that year...YArrr!

[The Black Spot]

I had one o' them marxist fellers in me crew once. Aways gripin' about the unfairness o' "the system" 'ee were.

One day, we were diggin' up some treasure on a small lonely island. We opened the chest, an' all the men cheered when they saw the gold it contained.

The marxist looked down 'is nose at the treasure chest an said "Nothing can have value without being an object of utility."

I wonder if 'ees still there?

[DaveL]

YArrr...

Next thing yer know, they'll be partitioning yer ship with a large brick wall, havin 5 year plans and invadin the other half of yer ship trying to 'liberate' it from ye.

[Black Bart]

Getting back loosely to the original theme, I decided it was toim to fire up the old clonin equipment once again. This toim I threw in me best parrot 'Dixie' with the idea of cornerin the European parrot market.
Sadly me crew hadn't informed me they'd been usin the clonin facility to experiment with small scale nuclear fission!  Still, I've got plenty of brightly coloured quills for sale, ideal fer fillin in yer log book or writin ome to yer loved ones.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

O'ill buy one of yer on Arggh-bay matey!!

Ifs we crossed a radioactive parrot wif a Kim Jong Il parrot, we'd probably get a 'Radio Head' parrot.

'Oi'm a creep (Rawrk!) O'im a Wierdo (Who's a pretty boy)...'

[Black Bart]

Ifs we crossed a radioactive parrot wif a Kim Jong Il parrot, we'd probably get a 'Radio Head' parrot.

'Oi'm a creep (Rawrk!) O'im a Wierdo (Who's a pretty boy)...'

AAARRRRRGH...a secret weapon.  Ye could fly the Radio Head parrot over yer enemies and spread depression and dispair amongst their ranks!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

It might give the Kurt Kobain Parrot a run for it's money. Jes don't let him near the armoury, he may not be around too long.

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRR...it could be worse, the other day Buddy Holly Parrot crashed through the roof o me cabin!