A Pssitaculturalist's Delight: Parrot Breedin' Stories

[The Black Spot]

Me own cross breedin' story be unfortunate. There were no plan, just that me parrot got a bit lonely after a few months at sea, an' got a bit too friendly with the ship's cat. After a few days, me parrot laid an egg, an it hatched into the most ghastly feline-bird hybrid.

Similarly, in the hold, one o' the racehorses got involved with one o' the goats.

These two cross-breeds took an instant dislike to each other, and so now we have to put up wi' daily battles between Cat Parrot and Filly the Kid.

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

That be truly scary. That must have bin one helluva long voyage there matey.

Oi've heard those feline birds be hard to catch. Oi suggest catchin 'em with a saucer of milk and piece of cuttle fish for sharpenin' his beak.

P'aps you could give the goat/horse a run in the local races. Just watch out for his horns.

YArr..

[Black Bart]

Cat Parrot and Filly the Kid.

YYYAAARRR The Black Spot's been cross bred with Tommy Cooper!

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Oi also tried crossing one of me Giant Parrots with a Whale Shark and got 'A long tall drink of water'

YARggghhh!!!

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRR...in an even more bizarre experiment my chief scientific officer cross bred a centipede with a parrot and got...

A walkie talkie!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Oi wundered why Oi got bitten last toime I wuz doin a bit of mobile communication.

[Sibling Chatty]

Oi hev resently incountered a new variety of parrot owner. He claims ter be a Pollytheist.

Oi be loikin' me parrot as much as th' next pirate, but it set me ter wonderin' if Oi should join thet faith, becuz a dislecksyk loike meself woud be much better off wif a Deity named Loppy than wershipin' Dog...

(OK, that was really bad...I would be ashamed of me if I had any sense.)

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Whadaya talken about Sibling Chatty? Oi though it wuz huddy bl-ilarious!

[The Black Spot]

There be a parrot that we keeps on the deck that be a bit poor at talkin'. 'Ee chatters away alright, but 'ee keeps gettin 'is words mixed up. Spoonerisms or summit like that according to an educated "guest" I once had aboard.

This parrot just learns t' repeat what 'ees heard on deck. 'Ee shouts things like "ARRRR yer dazy log!" and "Into the nose crest wi' ye!"

Lately, it's bin saying "Slack Bot is a bright rastid." an all me men snigger when 'ee says it. Fer the life o' me I can't puzzle out what the bugger be tryin' to say.

[Sibling Chatty]

Yer know the silly birds just make th' babblin' sounds most the time, Slack, err Spot. If it amyoozes yer crew, encourage 'im ter say it orften.

[Black Bart]

T "Slack Bot is a bright rastid."

I ran it through the 'Portholes 98' translation widget for parrot and it came out as:
'Pieces of eight, pieces of eight, who's a pretty boy then!'
Then I swapped it round for English to Parrot and it gave me:
Squawk again ye bastid bird and I'll have ye roasted for dinner!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Oi believe the Oz translation fer that is:

'Strewth! One more peep out of you yer flamin' bag of lice and yewl be me next feathered quilt.'

[Black Bart]

...YYYAAARRR and the Welsh translation be:

Parrot GoGoGoch!

[DaveL]

YArrr...

The thought of a parrot speakin Welsh sounds terrifyin'

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRR...I never thought on it loik that...ye be right it be quite disturbin!  Twood be a bit loik Sir Harry Seacombe sittin on a perch!