A Pssitaculturalist's Delight: Parrot Breedin' Stories

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

It's bin a while since we've 'ad the chance to discuss our fine feathered friends.  The Monastery offers some excellent breedin' opportunities - ooops an' Oi didn't mean a visit to Madame Fifi's either...YArrr!

Oi's hear that there be some excoitin developments to breed some bewdiful parrots in this foine establishment.

As it be parrot breedin' season again, it's toime get yer Polly and Poll-ette together...after they get to know one another of course ...and tell us the finer points of your Pssitacultural delights.

Settle down Polly...Settle Down!! YArrrr!!!

Just check out these foine websites dedicated to the art of parrot breedin'

http://www.parrots-psittaculturist.co.uk/
http://www.perroquet.com/en/

YArrrr...and who said Monasteries were a bit quiet when it came to red hot action...YArrrrr!!!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

For me first breedin experiment, Oi crossed a George Bush with an African Grey and got 'A War on Parrots'..YArrrrr!

[Aggie]

Do this mean ye blaggarts'll leave the sheep alone? 

Me parrot got into me medical kit a whoile back an' then laid an egg...
It hatched out into a tournikeet!

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

I tried t' breed some fine parrots, but they got a taste o' me grog and they can't stop drinkin' ever since. They're not interested in breedin' anymore:

[Aggie]

YAAARRR!  A case o' the ol' "whiskey cloaca", issit? 

[Bluenose]

Oi bin havin a bit er trubble wiv me red tailed black cockatoo, Oi fawt 'e be gettin a bit lonely an' so Oi went an got im a girlfiriend, or so Oi thunk.  But it seems the parrot shop Oi went to did not know their business reall good like, coz the female they selled me were no girl parrot at all but anuvver male.  Now my bird is nay interested in the girls and keeps wistlin at all the boy parrots.  Wot do yer suggest?

Cap'n Bluenose

[Aggie]

Mebbe yer bird was the femail... any eggs about?  Elsewise, make sure ye give's em lots of tasteful fabrics to decorate the nest wit.

[Aphos]

Me parrot took up ballet, and now Oi've got a cocka-tutu.

[Sibling Chatty]

Arrrrgggh, me parrot took th' week orf ter go visit at the home ov one o' his parrot buddies an' has come back wif a most dissgustin' habit.

At any odd toime of ther day er nite, he'll holler out "Stay the course, stay the course" or start chantin' a couple of odd numbers...noine, eleven, noine, eleven.

Is he possessed? It this a passin' affliction, or should we hev his squawker remooved an' get a little tape thet'll play the traditional "Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight" and other of the more sensible parroty sayins??

It is defoinnitely th' verry las' time he'll be allowed to go ter Kenny Bunk Port, wherever tha' be.

Tis sad when yer parrot loses his little Psitticalcinated mind...

[Aphos]

'Tis truly sad, sibling Chatty.  Your parrot has clearly been spending time with birds of inferior intelligence.

Judging from the symptoms, your parrot has fallen into a rut.  He needs Perplex-a-Parrot (tm).

All transactions final.  All work guaranteed for 24 hours.  Offer void in some states.  Warning:  Treatment effective only on parrots, parakeets, cockatoos, cockateels, macaws, and related species.

[DaveL]

Yarrrr...

Me George W. parrot keeps squwakin somthin about invadin the adjacent bird cage...

Oi keeps tellin 'im that they've got exactly the same bird seed he has, but he's just not satisfied.

[Sibling Chatty]

OI b'leeve the George W. parrot is a Kenny Bunk Port Breed, and tis me unnerstandin' thay they breeds true for insanity, pointy beaks, beady eyes an' a touch o' facism in mos' generations.

Oi been cogitatin' on ther history of th' breed, and oi'm defynitely rememberin' the fascism part quoite well. Was the Grandfatherly Generation to the current one thet was so terrible inclined to it.

Gennyrally yer able to deal wi' the George W's by lettin' 'em overindulge in grog. They have a deep likin' fer it. Unfortunately, they gen'rally hev a Dicky Bird (Cheneyinsis Dickus Majorus, a rather ugly bird wif a nasty temper'mint, a perm'nunt scowl and sparse plumage) pushin' em and tryin' to cause trubble wif all the other birds they in-cownter.

Sev'ral breeders suggest the applycation of a nice level spoonful of saltpeter and Valium 3 toimes a day to reduce aggression, but others are in fayver of a lobotomy. Num'rous Bird Doctors hev reported diffyculty foindin' a brain on the George W. but more curious is the ability of the Dicky to live wif no discernable heart.

Strange birds, indeed.

[Black Bart]

Whilst I were marooninated by me mutinous crew last week there weren't much ado but drink exotic cocktails and admire the local birds...

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

For me second experiment. Oi crossed a Macaw with Sir Bob Geldorf and got a parrot that wants to end world hunger by feedin' the world bird seed...

YArrrrr!!

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRR...Cross breedin be a dangerous thing...that be how the English (POMS) were created!