Scurvy Disciplinary Board

[Black Bart]

I protest your honour...

I came accross this book at Portsmouth Market...it were in a job lot with 'The Des O Connor book of mirth and music', 'The Arthur Askey book of Music Hall and The Crackerjack annual of 1968...

look there's a great joke on page 23 of the Crackerjack Annual when Peter Glaze sais to Lesley Crowther...

[The Black Spot]

..."It's nice out."

To which Leslie Crowther replied...

[Sibling Chatty]

"It's nice in, too, so try a little harder."

[sfx: rimshot]...

[Griffin NoName]

"Order in Court, Order in Court" screamed Sir Ronald Siegfried Algernon Humphrey Ethelred Winston Whistlecock banging his little gavel in a frenzied attack on his bench. The bench fell into a thousand pieces with a terrible thundering noise. Sir Ronald Siegfried Algernon Humphrey Ethelred Winston Whistlecock fell to the floor, buried in a heap of broken wood.

[Black Bart]

There were mutterings from the assembled court room folk/pirates: "Attackin the Queen's bench...YYYAARRRR, that be a hangin offence!

[Griffin NoName]

The court re-assembled. The bench re-assembled. The next case was announced.

The Good People of Portsmouth v. The Portsmouth Aaarrrrggghhhus - all the news that's unfit to print

Sir Ronald Siegfried Algernon Humphrey Ethelred Winston Whistlecock raised his monicle and gibbered and spluttered as he glanced through the latest edition.

Ye Gads!! It is Unfit To Print !! he exclaimed. Call The Proprietor to the witness stand.

[Black Bart]

Now no one in their tiny right mind is goin to admit to that one!!!!

[Griffin NoName]

The collapse of the previous case has left the court without a Judge.

A new appointment is sought to hear an urgent case: The terrible case of the Pirates Raiding Party Success.

All Pirates are on trial for their lives. Will suitably qualified Judges approach the bench where Madam Fifi, Big Ron and Big Bovver are selecting the short list of candidates.

[Bluenose]

Yarrr!

That be the way, Oi culd yuse sum target practiss.  Oi'll go get me favourite cannon an' 'ave it 'nstalled in the courthouse right away!

Cap'n Bluenose

[DaveL]

Bleedin' Scumbags all ofs 'em 

They should be hung for even contemplatin' restoring the old Playbilge. That magazine was downright smutty!

[anthrobabe]

Bleedin' Scumbags all ofs 'em 

They should be hung for even contemplatin' restoring the old Playbilge. That magazine was downright smutty!

avin appeared in that foin magazine meself I do object to it bein termed smutty!

Oh and I be glad to help the judge( when one is appointed) in and out of his offishial robes and such-- and no one of ye put any thing dirty or naughty ot o ye minds into that statement---judgin being hard work an all and all those offichial robes and such must make for tirin out,  I ust feel it is me duty to help out where and when I can-- seein as I'm not qwalified to be a juge meself.

sincerely
Saucy Gert Pettigrew

[Bruder Cuzzen]

Bleedin' Scumbags all ofs 'em 

They should be hung for even contemplatin' restoring the old Playbilge. That magazine was downright smutty!

ARRR! ye be black Spot on dere Davey ! That wuz an ornery bit of carnage it be , we , I meens they shunt do that sorta' thin.