PLAYBILGE - FUNNY PHOTO CONTEST

[DaveL]

YArrrr, wot be all this deliberatin' goin' on? Get on wif it!

Oi thinks yer should make an anownsemunt in the news section on the front page.

[Sibling Chatty]

Only a bit more deliberatin' to go. Oi got to amass all the treasures and make sure they're appropriately awarded.

There be a Schnauzer sittin' on the treasure chest at the moment...

[Griffin NoName]

We be waitin fer some bad news ter appen so we can divert attentiun by announcin ther winner

Also, we be usin a Scumsoft spred sheat ter calcoolayte ther votes an it be givin sum very straynge reesults. Scumsoft be takin ther time fixin it. They be promisin it tomoora every day.

[Sibling Chatty]

Oi hev had the Schnauzer removed from the treasure chest.

We may hev ter git some tie-braker votes from the ladies at Madam Fifi's as the current staff of judges have come up with some most confusin' results.

Oi b'leeve Judge No Name hasn been tryin' to chart this infermashun, but once agin, the blaggards at Scumsoft are confusin' th' issue.

What's a left-handed bifurcatin' three prong blivitator? That's what they sez we need to fix the tallyin' program, and they be wantin' 300 Cronin fer it!!

[Griffin NoName]

Oi as sorted them scum at Scumsoft an got ther first o the result charts owt the compewter.

Oi opes no wun is goin ter be disssapointed.

[The Black Spot]

Ye don't fool me wi' yer high tech jabberin'. THIS be what yer usin'...

[Bluenose]

Jumpedup, Blaggart and Swindler
Commisioners for Oaths, Attourneys at Law

For Scumsoft Inc.

This Sixteenth Day of Aprille in the Year of Our Lord One Thousand Seven Hundred and Seven

To Mr Black Spot

It has come to the attention of our client that you have published the design of their left-handed bifurcatin' three prong blivitator in an open forum and thus contravened the provions of the Copyright and Design Registrations Acts.

Our client is willing to settle out of court upon the payment of the sum of 50,000 Dubloons, plus legal expenses, and upon your agreement to publiclly apologise for your error.

We look forward to your early response to this matter.

Your obedient servent,

Ima Swindler KCB, QC

[The Black Spot]

Dear Mr Swindler

I am writing to you on behalf of Applebarrel Corporation in response to your letter to Mr Black Spot dated 16/4/1707.

The Scumsoft "left-handed bifurcatin' three prong blivitator" is a copy of Applebarrel's Trident Randomiser (TM) that has been an integrated feature of our renowned operating system OS Sux  since the early sixteenth century.

I have spoken to Applebarrel CEO Mr Jobsworth personally, and he assures me that every single innovation in the computing world is down to him and him alone, and Scumsoft CEO Bill Hatches is merely a charlatan. The fact that Mr Hatches owns half the planet, and Mr Jobsworth lives on a bench behind the Admiral Benbow bears testament to this.

Please excuse the shaky handwriting, but a certain Mr Black Spot is holding a pistol to my head.

Your earliest response would be appreciated.

Please.

Yours faithfully

Lucas Hackenthrop
Legal Representative,
Applebarrel Corporation

[Sibling Chatty]

Oi as sorted them scum at Scumsoft an got ther first o the result charts owt the compewter.

Oi opes no wun is goin ter be disssapointed.

Freud rarely wore slips, as he was partial to a fluffy chenille dressing gown in lavender and rose, with some bunny slippers and a nice summer bonnet. There may be photos...

[Griffin NoName]

Sounds like an entry to the competition !

[Opsa]

 

O hang it all, and send Freud the pirate gear... he looks like he could use it!

Ow! There's a dart in me posterior. How'd that get there?

[Griffin NoName]

Aaaaaarr!  Oi win then !!!

For all em oo fink ther judges shuldnt win, Oi just got ther Cronin results:

[Sibling Chatty]

Thar be sum definite problims wif Scumsoft's approaches to the difu-cultys we be havin'.

Oi hev engaged a group of young ladies to assist in the perusal and assessment ov these photos, as the Scumsoft program seem ter be stuck at the number 18.

Evver one uv the scores reported seems ter be "18". ALL uv them. that don't seem roite, so Oi hev arsked the Ladies fro Mme. Fifi's to give input as well. They will be reportin' at varyous toimes, so their remarks will just be displayed as received.

And may the Deity of Yer Choice have mercy upon yer mangy souls...

[Sibling Chatty]

Dear Mr. B. Spot, Oi did not reveal the author of this to Brenda. Upon receipt of 500 gold doubloons, Oi will tell 'er it was mysteriously destroyed in a freak pixelization accident.

Oh, her comment, once passed by th' censors:

Oi'm gonna ____ the bleedin' ____ orf th' scum-____ing ___ Son of a _____ whot put that in ther ______ing contest. An THEN Oi'm gon ter get MAD abou' it!!

Doubloons only, NO Scumsoft stock certificates.

[Sibling Chatty]

Weakened by Scurvy and endless games of 'Simon', a desperate member of The Black Spot's crew tries to get a job at Scumsoft!

Mr. B. Bart,

Madam Fifi wonts ter know wher ye got the foto of her former husbin. If yer kin pruve he's werkin' she 'as a matter of child support fer the 11 children wot she's raisin'. Nae one o' them resembuls the gent in the pickshur, bu' she sez th' judge b'leevs 'er and 'as awardid her support.

Also, th' new girl at Fifi's sez "Oi!! Wot's me ol' Da doin'? He can't code HTML werth beans!!"

However, fer artystick merit she gave you a 10, as it's a perfect loikness of 'im on 'is best day.