Ye Ammock Fund

[Griffin]

Me an me frend NoName as an umble concern fer the many ancient mariners adrift afloat on the igh sees wiv downroight old smelly sodden useless ammocks. Ye ancient mariner Pirates be espesscially needy an Oi's opin ye'all'll giv gennerusly.

We be collectin fer an Annual Ye Ammock Fund Ocean Sayle ter boost Ye Ammock Fund's finansees.

We alreddy as a few luvly lookin pig's trotters donatted by Big Ron which we rekkon will go fer at least 2 cronins if they avent gawn off by Sayle time. An if they as, we'll be chargin 2 cronins ter sniff em. Win-Win.

So, search yer ships an send us yer best.

Deliveries ter be left in the grey dustbin beind The Admiral Benbow.

[Sibling Chatty]

Oi'd be most pleazd ter donate a lurvly sewin' macheen, eksellent fer patchin' yer sails or a bit o' fancy stichin' for the pantomimes costumes.

It's a lurvly pale pink one, made by the Atlas Company many yars ago, but it be sturdy enough to sew the cannonballs onter the brass monkey.

Mendin' 'ammocks wif it might be possible but that wouldn't 'elp wif th' smell...

[goat starer]

I may have some wool to spare

[The Meromorph]

Oi'd like ter perlitely 'int ter me piraticky comrades that, if yer were ter avoid fartin' in yer hammock (a quiet trip ter the scuppers might be a suggestion) then not only moight yer hammock last longer, but yer shipmates moight be more kindly disposed ter yer continued companionship.

Your's respecktfully,

Cabin Boy Carter (the Farter).

[Griffin]

Ther sewin machine may be worth a fortune. Oi umbly advise ye ter tek on ther antique road show. The we could fix our prices ! Since it be pink, and despite havin to ditch me opinions on ther Pink Breast Cancer media hype (fer a number of reasons), I see no reason not to organise it as a prize entry item fer the raffle. I ken see sum slogans already: Forget Cancer, ye allus wanted pink breasts, win the chance to sew yer own. Ere be the best pink machine. Impress your home town support group by yer ingenuity and good taste. Optional extra: excellent fer pink ammocks too.

Goat, would yer mind if we go for the pink theme, if we died yer wool pink? We could av a compertion ter guess the evolution of pink goats; a goat sheering competition ter see who can goat sheer fastest with fewest blood lettings. Finally we could pass the pink wool to the knitters fer the Best Ammock compertition.

A good point Quasi. Oi as written to Herr Proffessor Winton-Wartson asking im ter investigate nautical farting. Oi've requested e keeps quiet about his findings - poor man is so naieve.

Once we as sawted out the competition entry fees, we can start price up the junk gifts that folks are sendin in.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Oi luvs the colour pink...ooopps Oi shouldn't be revealin me private dressin' habits. 

Arghhh, we can get the pirate bands back together and raise some funds for yer most noble cause.

We be aiming to call it 'Hammock-aid'

Yarr!

[goat starer]

Goat, would yer mind if we go for the pink theme, if we died yer wool pink? We could av a compertion ter guess the evolution of pink goats; a goat sheering competition ter see who can goat sheer fastest with fewest blood lettings. Finally we could pass the pink wool to the knitters fer the Best Ammock compertition.

are ye saying yer humble revolutionary Goat has capitalist pinko tendancies?

[Black Bart]

I beat yer score on Frogger...I did, I did, I did...
Blasted computers...Blasted Scumsoft...

I thinks I need ta visit me ships doctor fer advice on addiction to Arcade Games!  I aint picked me cutlass up in weeks!

What's all that about Hammocks?

We uses sacks on my boat...and they be left over from the Fish Head deliveries!

[goat starer]

I beat yer score on Frogger...I did, I did, I did...
Blasted computers...Blasted Scumsoft...

thats not what it says on the high score table <smirks>
As it stands I am the undisputed master of the arcade and if I hadn't got overexcited on 77,000 I would have kiyos tetris title.

That said I have not got a chance in hell of taking the simple simon crown.

so get bak t'yer cutlass practice and dont ye be cummin back till yer frogger skills befit a poirate! Yer scurvy TOAD!

[DaveL]

That said I have not got a chance in hell of taking the simple simon crown.

That Simon score of 38 sent me temporily insane. However, as I am already permanently insane, I barely noticed...YArrrr!

[goat starer]

That Simon score of 38 sent me temporily insane. However, as I am already permanently insane, I barely noticed...YArrrr!

you think you have problems! my pathological need to get a clean sweep has been driving me up the wall! I cant rest till the Arcade is mine!!! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

But yer losing yer ground t'ere!

Bart 'as beaten you in Frogger.

I remain t'e King of Tetris!!!!


Yaaaaaaaarrrrr!!!!

[Black Bart]

Well said thar Kiyoodle...

But what about the Hammocks?...I be fed up o sleepin on the poop deck!

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Oi still be wunderin where they got the name 'poop' from.

I thought it was because it was the most exposed part of the ship, relative to an albatrosses rear end.

[goat starer]

But yer losing yer ground t'ere!

Bart 'as beaten you in Frogger.

I remain t'e King of Tetris!!!!


Yaaaaaaaarrrrr!!!!

what ye must remember be that me com-put-er aboard me ship be currently Kaput. When it be fixed me men an oi'll be boarding yer rusty hulks an takin yer tetris and frogger crowns! The excise won't let me do any pillaging from prisn!

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

I'd loike t' see 'ow ye beat t'e new Tetris score of t'e King of Tetris!!!

[Black Bart]

YYYYAARRRR...I be suspectin that ye be a two handed pirate Kiyoodle...where's yer hook an eye patch?

I made a stout attempt at beatin yer score last night...tied the bosun to the wheel and locked me cabin door...4 hours later I had a score of 12,000!!!

Course me fingers were hangin off after me attempts to beat the spot on Snake!

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

12,000?

I can do t'at wit' me eyepatch over me healthy eye!


Let's just say, I'm very skilled wit' me hook!!!


Yyyaaaaarrrr

[Griffin NoName]

Oi be ashamed o ye all. Ere we be tryin ter organyse an important fund-rayser an ye all be skwabblin over summat triveal insted.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

They be a bunch of soggy pilchards on a weevily biscuit (sorry wrong thread).

P'raps the blaggard wifs the most arcade victores should donate their galleon, substantial land holdings and buried treasure to the Hammock Fund.

[Black Bart]

Will they be luxury hammocks with a palm tree fixed on either side and a young wench fanning and administering TLC? Or will they be yer basic hammock made from recycled underpants?

[The Meromorph]

Will they be luxury hammocks with a palm tree fixed on either side and a young wench fanning and administering TLC? Or will they be yer basic hammock made from recycled underpants?

They'm fer Sibling NoName, so they'll be 'aving strappin' young pirate lads wiv exotic talents administering TLC on request.

[Griffin NoName]

    

[Black Bart]

 

[goat starer]

right! I have decided that I cannot beat the tetris score for a variety of reasons:

• incompetence
• lack of knowledge of how the scoring works
• more incompetence

Frogger is another matter and that will be mine once more! soon my precious! soon! MWAHAHAHA!

[Black Bart]

You are absolutley right.  There is no doubt that Kiyoodle must be an advanced alien life form...life but not as we know it. No one eyed, one handed, honest, cutthroat pirate could ever beat that score...I keep getting less and less...can I have a prize for the lowest score!

As fer you...I hope the Crocodiles get your froggy!

[goat starer]

It aint the crocs that ave me frog but them thar fancy land ships! Level 4 be me undoin! 

[Kiyoodle the Gambrinous]

You are absolutley right.  There is no doubt that Kiyoodle must be an advanced alien life form...life but not as we know it. No one eyed, one handed, honest, cutthroat pirate could ever beat that score...

I be no alien form! I be a reel pirate. If ye t'ink I ain't, I'll show ye me cutlass skills!

I be so good in Tetris, jus' due to me special grog!

[goat starer]

oive spiked yer cannons ye scurvy dog Bart!

19810 an oi only lost as me attention wandered te the big 20000!

[Black Bart]

BLAGGARD!

I'll make cheese of ye yet!