Missy Melissa's Piratical Unisex Fashion Column and Personal Tips

[Griffin NoName]

Fear Fellow Contestant

Glad ter ear from yer. We'd all be appier if yer spruced yersel up a bit.

Oi sergest wen yer get yer tern in the Big Bovver Blogger Room ask Big Bovver ter reskedool the port stop overs usin this map:



Ye can pikk owt ther pink bits on this map eezily an Oi'm shure ye can foind the sort o dress clothin yer loike.

Yours Miss Melissa

P.S. Oi'll be be'ind the forfth gang plank at dawn.

[Black Bart]

Dear Missy

Don't tell anyone but I've dyed me Ginger Hair Jet Black and I think I've got away with it so far.  Can you let me know when me roots are showin?

I am goin for the 'David Guest look'...I've got a cabin boy called Roger Seaman Staines...honest!

[Pachyderm]

Wot thee 'ell is a Ginger Hair Jet?

An' why would you get a ginger one, just ter dye it black? Shurely easier ter nick a black one?

[DaveL]

Dear Missy Melissa,

Oi've bin thinking of 'cats fur jackets' for this winter aboard me ship. Knowing that Tiddles is extremly bad tempered, do you think he'll mind if I borrow his pelt for a season or two?

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Capn' DaveL

Go eezie on the dye as Pink Spotted Tiddles be a real scarey thawt. Aaaaar, may'aps ye culd dye the pelt pink after ye snip it awf not before (Oi jest got this hot tip from Cuddles).

MM

[DaveL]

Dear Missy Melissa,

Do you think Oi should ask Tiddles in future? He didn't take to kindly to me snippin' his fur off.

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Cap'n DaveL

Wiv the graitest respekt, ye be a clod.

MM

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Oi thought you said cloud there for a minute. Yes, me Cumulo-nimbusus have bin playin' up of late. 

[DaveL]

Dear Missy Melissa,

Some fashion nazi called MM has taken to hinsultin me? Should Oi be hupgradin me wardrobe?



Capn In Pink Afterhours

[anthrobabe]

Dear Missy,

Where can I get a ride to the hospital?
That last photo spectacle from kind pirate DaveL has me in the floor seeing stars.
and I thought the idea of pirates in pink underdrawers was something.
BTW--where can I also get me a set of those stunning beige shoes?

Love
Saucy Gert

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Cap'n DaveL and Saucy Gert

Forgive me replying to both at once but we are running low on paper and no one's filled the ink wells for months.

Agreed, the shoes are stunning but beige is so last year. We have got out fashion department to smarten up your outfit Cap'n DaveL with the latest gold stillettos and this year's must-have black whip accessory. All the boys love a good whip.

Saucy Gert, we hope this will keep you out of hospital. We appreciate how distressing it can be to see such out of date taste.

Yours Missy

[DaveL]

Arghhh..

That looks like a fine addition Missy Melissa. O'im sure Sibling Bluenose will find that handy when I'm not wearin it round me leg.

Wifs yours and Saucy Gert's fine assistance Oi can see us developin a new fashion label for Pirates tryin to get in touch wif their feminine side.

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Missy M.

Oi be acumpanying Mrs Primrose Postlethwaite OBE ter ther R.W.U.C.T.A. protest outside that retched Public School this Friday to stamp out vice, bad grammar and evil.

Can ye sergest a sewtable outfit.

Lord Cap'n Treadmill-UpJohn

[DaveL]

Dear Capn Treadmill,

O'id be stoppin at nothin less than this, if yer planning to protest out the front of the school.


Catchy little blue number, with nice use of accessories and a lovely hat to boot. Those little blaggards will be givin yers what for so be at the ready. There may be injuries....lots of injuries!

Best Regards,

Principal Bill Cullinane (on behalf of Missy Melissa)

[Griffin NoName]

Dear Missy M

Oi be writin on be'alf o a good frend 'oo 'as towld me yer tips 'n fashun columm 'as bin 'ijacked by a bad man.

A Well Wisher