Piratical Vacation Permission Commission Board

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRRRR... please give Calico Jack permission to go on a theme holiday to Harry Seacombe island where the Leaks grow 20 feet high and male voice choir music is played 24 hours a day!

A one way ticket preferably!!!

[DaveL]

It be called the 'Isle of YArrr-gogogo-goch'

[Calico Jack]

YYYAAARRRRR... please give Calico Jack permission to go on a theme holiday to Harry Seacombe island where the Leaks grow 20 feet high and male voice choir music is played 24 hours a day!

A one way ticket preferably!!!

Arrrrggh no, I would rather be inside a Whale then go to Wales.  As Del Boy said to Rodney when he brought round his charity tin why do we want to save Wales.

[Griffin NoName]

Permission to have retrospective permission for 36 hour leave. Me ship wer quaranteened by Scumsoft Internet Security.

That be a rubbish product, Oi'll not be buyin it ergin. It sed on ther tin it were to protect us from nasty fings, but the way it do it is ter stop ye talkin in the ferst place. That be daft. It told me Oi ad a bug but Oi never did, it were jes it wot ad the heebeejeeebeees. Oi'm not be even botherin ter wright ter Scumsoft cos they never fixed me problem receivin no emails.

So Oi opes Oi get me permission cos Oi bin all washed up.

[Aggie]

Arrrrggh no, I would rather be inside a Whale then go to Wales.  As Del Boy said to Rodney when he brought round his charity tin why do we want to save Wales.

Oi never figgered quite how Whales keep from sinkin' to Davy Jones' Locker wit' all the leaks they're reputed to have in 'em.

Speakin o' leaks, Oi reckoned Oi'd prepare a batch o' "esper aspir aspar-agus leak soup" for me crew late one night last May, as we 'ad nothing but aspar-agus for dinners, but the Cap'n broke into the icebox in the wee hours and found me special aspar-agus leak stock and drank the lot.  The blaggart though it was a bowl o' flat Heineken, and I don't blame him...  Heineken smells about as foul as yer leak when ye be eatin' aspar-agus three meals a day.

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRR...That Heineken be rubbish.  It be advertised wiv the slogan: 'Heinekin refreshes the parts what other beers can't reach'.  Well I've been drinkin it for hours and there be no sign o my leg growin back!

[Griffin]

Me ammock as collapsed dew ter excessive use, so Oi be visitin the Janoory Online Sayles fer a new un an Oi asnt got toime ter mess abowt ere. Oi wants an ammock wiv a drawer fer me spare peg legs, cut outs fer electrical gubbins, an summat ter stop me slippin off the edje. Oi may be gawn sum time as ye olde surch enjines be rubbish. Oi'll be bak wen Oi's sawted it an catched up on me kip.

[The Black Spot]

Arrrr, this be an exceptional case. The only uvver person to wear out a hammock were DaveL when 'ee were watchin' a week o' cricket on his 51" plasma screen an' necking crates o' R Lager while the rest o'the crew were dying o' thirst.

Good man I say.

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Make 'em feel the pain Oi say! A bit o' dehydration does wonders for the lads waistlines.

Nuthin' like a cricket test match for 5 days straight(or 3 days if yer a Pom..yar!)

But now that Warney's becomin' an honoury Pom, we're in real trouble!

[Calico Jack]

I be thinking that yer Warne he be a bit of a Wench lovin Pirate.

He retires from all cricket except for Hampshire and he be based in Southampton so e can be in Fifis's in Portsmouth alf an hour after play finishes.

[Griffin]

Yaaaaaaaaaar!!  It be an excepssional case indeed. Oi as enuff maggots crawlin out me wrecked ammock ter keep me crew ek in sum in maggot sandwitches fer months. It be a fine life, generatin ther rations woile Oi kips. Oi need sum more days awf ter get me Ammock Fund goin since Oi spotted this Boxer Ammock - see them long draws be just ther tikket fer me peg legs but they be chargin an arm an a leg an Oi only as one leg. Oi be wonderin if me ship's carpenter culdn't knock me up a quick fake copy. We got plenty o good wood on board arter all!!

[Black Bart]

YYYAAARRR, don't be a twerp...that John Lewis be very hexpensive...ye'd be better off going to Long John Lewis of Portsmouth (a subsidiary of Bart Industries - no responsibility accepted for injuries sustained whilst drinking grog).

[Pachyderm]

YYYAAARRRGH...don't ye talk to me about Cricket.  When ye've faced a hail o grape shot at four paces what be scary about a leathery ball thrown at ye by a man dressed in white flannel!!!

The fact that 'e IS a man dressed in white flannel.

Wot's wrong wif a red shirt, don't show the blood.

[Bruder Cuzzen]

To : PVPCB


   Dire Soares ,
                     I jus be questin a cuppel munz offin ta hep Big Ron onna es 
latist shup .

[Griffin NoName]

Ter: BC

Yer can av alf an our. That be owr final offer.

PVCB