Arrr-Bay. Sell yer unwanted stuff here

[Sibling Kephra (Tansy)]

Fer sale boi Loose Laura:
- One (1) pair o' men's trousers.  Slioght stain in thu crotch area.  Gots the smell out tho.
- One (1) men's blouse.  Sloight tear in the underarm area.

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

X Capn Cronan ship.

Suffers from rising damp, wet rot, very wet rot and general undersea encrustation. Cannons very rusty, balls stuck together in a heap. Needs a good clean but once ye've swept the skeletons off her she'll come up a treat.

Buy now 148 dubloons .

Postage: Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8

[Calico Jack]

For Sale

The new all purpose Pirate Hook.

This product provides the ultimate in comfort plus it comes with the following upgrades.

• Extra sharp hook useful for keeping swabs in order.  A cleaning kit for getting the blood off after those swabs have been dealt with is also provided.
  The hook is curved round in a semi circle and makes an excellent bottle opener.
  It comes with a furry cover for protection, useful for going o the toilet or for intimate moments with yer wench.

Due to a special deal we have made with our suppliers this will be sold at the special offer price of 1000 Dubloons.

[DaveL]

Vendor: Wicked Parrot Accessories Pty Ltd

Item: Deluxe Booty Perch

Notes: The parrot perch that sent the womens movement behind 30 years is back!

This deluxe model has been  moulded in rubber from a unique sitting with the one and only Brenda McTavish. Cost includes bonus seed trays in a few locations you'll never imagine (owch!)

Watch your parrot take bites that would make any red blooded pirate wince with pain (he bit her where?). See Polly fling his seed like you've never seen it flung before.

Comes with bonus Booty Perch repair kit, for moments where Polly gets viscious with his beak.

Cost: 200 Dubloon + postage

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

'The Life and Times of the Nun of Dresden'

A complete history of the infamous Nun's activities from 1425 to 1483.  Written by the reknowned historian:
Professor E Razer of Tagliatelli University

Buy now 48 dubloons.

Postage: Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8

Also see my other items;
By the same author:
Dead Swan at 56 degrees > altitude 40,000ft
25 dubloons and:
'this is undoubtedly proof of something. I am not sure what just yet'.
30 dubloons

[Griffin NoName]

Advance Offer.

Unused Xmas Gifts. As new.

Batch lot. Buyer takes all.

Cronin Card only. Half price if 90% deposit paid before 25th. 900 Groats.

[DaveL]

Vendor: BB Industries

Item: Distillery Pipes

Notes: Absolute clearance sale. All items must go. Bustlin Brian's current cell arrangement with Elroy, the 300lb over affectionate maniac, requires urgent financial remedy with his prison guards.

Quality Distillery Pipes, as used by Portsmouth Pirate Public School. Buy 'em cheap. They also make great curtain rods (Hang on, they are...ummm..nevermind).

2 dubloon/metre. Make it cash. Cold, hard, cash.

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

141 pairs of curtains.

Condition: USED

Buy now 50 dubloons.

Postage: Collection only, rear of Bustlin Brian's Plumbing supplies, Portsmouth

[Calico Jack]

ye are bidding for:-

1 Pantomime dress as worn by Black Bart as an ugly sister in the production of Brenderella.

SELLERS WARNING:  This dress is torn and full of holes as Dave L took retribution on the outfit with his cutlass when Bart pinched his Christmas Sherry.

[Sibling Chatty]

In all fairness, ee din't know her name was Sherry when ee pinched 'er...

[Sibling Chatty]

Up fer auction:

One Elderly Granny, low mileage, fully equipped. Recently in the shop for a complete check-up.

Comes with regular wheelchair, power wheelchair and own piano.

Oi kin probably afford ter pay ye aboot 2 quid to take 'er off me 'hands...

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Set of Four handkerchiefs

Printed with the initials CC

Dodgy lookin treasure map on reverse

Condition: Damp and Musty

Postage: half a Cronan

[Calico Jack]

ye are bidding for:-

One Judge's Gavel as used by Sir Ronald Siegfried Algernon Humphrey Ethelred Winston Whistlecock in many Scurvy Disciplinary Hearings.

SELLERS WARNING:  This is no normal Judge's Gavel, it is in fact a broken Judge's Gavel as the handle fell off when the exasperated judge hurled it at Black Bart after one of many interuptions made by the Welsh Pirate during court proceedings.

[The Meromorph]

Up fer auction:

One Elderly Granny, low mileage, fully equipped. Recently in the shop for a complete check-up.

Comes with regular wheelchair, power wheelchair and own piano.

Oi kin probably afford ter pay ye aboot 2 quid to take 'er off me 'hands...

I'll take 'er, pervided yer doan mind me selling her and her dam' wheelchairs on, an' keeping that ther pianner...

[Sibling Chatty]

She be yours...

Oi kin deliver wen th' water level goes down, or ye kin pick 'er up whet ye manage to sell orf the rest o' the lot and take th' pianner.

Let me know, so Oi have a chance ter change me cellphone number.